Just need to let it all out [warning rant]
   

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Just need to let it all out [warning rant]

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        03-24-2010, 05:33 PM
      #1
    Started
    Just need to let it all out [warning rant]

    Okay so I just thought I would let all this out because I'm not great at talking to people about things I keep it bottled up and it just makes everything worse. I end up fighting with people who have nothing to do with my problems or even on my horses and that makes me more upset because they shouldn't be involved in my problems.

    Okay so on Christmas day my dad and the whole family found out that my mam had been cheating on my dad for basically their whole marriage with loads of different men. She doesn't seem to realise what she did to me my sister and my brother or even my dad she seems to think everything is fine with us. She never asks us how we feel or how we are doing, never makes time to try to talk to us or anything like that just goes off with her stupid boyfriend who helped ruin my life. To top things off my dad has just lost his job as well and is finding it hard to pay the bills, and my mother won't pay for anything, dad gives my money if I ever go to town or the cinema and gives me money every day for school and for getting presents and stuff if I don't have any money he also gives me pocket money which I told him to stop giving me because its not fair on him but he won't, I asked mam for money for town and stuff before but she didn't have any at that time. She tries to make out that her situation is so much worse than ours even though she only has to take care of herself and she has a steady job when dad doesn't have any income right now and has to take care of me my sister my brother and our 7 horses along with horses he breaks in for people but he only gets those ocasionally and they end up costing more than they pay because of feeding them and all.

    I just can't handle any of this any more. I am 15 years old and in third year in Ireland so I have major exams this year then two more years left then more major exams then its off to college. I am being pressured by teachers friends and other people to have to know what to do with my life what job I want what course I need for that job what college has those courses I just don't know if I can take it any more, I have to study for exams, try to figure out my life after our family problems, and take care of around six horses now I just don't know what to do.

    Oh and sorry for the novel cookies for people who read it.
         
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        03-24-2010, 06:03 PM
      #2
    Super Moderator
    Oh I'm sorry for all that, Shauna *cyber hugs*. You shoudn't have worries like that in your age.

    I guess your mom has perhaps some issues that she has to sort out herself. You have still your dad, who sounds like very responsible man, and your siblings. I hope you can lean on each others now when times are hard. I don't know Irish system well enough, but can you or your dad confer over your issues at your school so your teachers will know and can consider if you need some special arrangements or at least give some extra support to you?

    I can only say that if it doesn't kill you (and I'm sure it won't), it'll finally make your stronger. Things will be solved somehow and if you can push through hard times, you'll notice that you stand on your own feet some day.
         
        03-25-2010, 02:59 PM
      #3
    Started
    Thank you very much Janita even writing this out has helped me and I am thankful that you replied helped me out a lot
         
        03-25-2010, 05:23 PM
      #4
    Green Broke
    All I can offer is *hugs* and a sincere hope that things get better for you soon. That is an incredibly tough situation to have to deal with at your age, and I'm very sorry that you have had to go through all that. You'll be in my thoughts.
         
        03-25-2010, 05:49 PM
      #5
    Started
    Thank you very much Indyhorse it helps to know that people are thinking of me thank you both very much
         
        03-25-2010, 05:53 PM
      #6
    Showing
    Aw, Shauna, I agree with Janita -- you shouldn't be worried about those things at your age. Goodness. Maybe you need to sit your parents down (together or separately) and tell them exactly what you want to.
    *big hugs* girlie, you'll get through it. You know where I am if you'd like to chat.
         
        03-25-2010, 05:57 PM
      #7
    Started
    Allie I know I always have you to talk to and talking about random horsey things with you and the other guys who are always on horse chat has helped me alot just takes my mind off of things and as you may have noticed I have been very happy since my little Dreamer came along I think the 6 horses to work with actually help me take my mind off of some other stuff.
         
        03-25-2010, 07:01 PM
      #8
    Weanling
    That's so rough... and you're so young too :(

    Stay strong. Try to help out your dad as much as you can. Poor guy probably really needs a friend right now.

    I hope it gets better for you soon.
         
        03-25-2010, 10:00 PM
      #9
    Yearling
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. It's good you have the horses to kind of get your mind off of the present situation, even if it may only be for a few minutes a day. Just remember, there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel.
         
        03-26-2010, 01:20 PM
      #10
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by savvylover112    
    Okay so I just thought I would let all this out because I'm not great at talking to people about things I keep it bottled up and it just makes everything worse. I end up fighting with people who have nothing to do with my problems or even on my horses and that makes me more upset because they shouldn't be involved in my problems.

    Okay so on Christmas day my dad and the whole family found out that my mam had been cheating on my dad for basically their whole marriage with loads of different men. She doesn't seem to realise what she did to me my sister and my brother or even my dad she seems to think everything is fine with us. She never asks us how we feel or how we are doing, never makes time to try to talk to us or anything like that just goes off with her stupid boyfriend who helped ruin my life. To top things off my dad has just lost his job as well and is finding it hard to pay the bills, and my mother won't pay for anything, dad gives my money if I ever go to town or the cinema and gives me money every day for school and for getting presents and stuff if I don't have any money he also gives me pocket money which I told him to stop giving me because its not fair on him but he won't, I asked mam for money for town and stuff before but she didn't have any at that time. She tries to make out that her situation is so much worse than ours even though she only has to take care of herself and she has a steady job when dad doesn't have any income right now and has to take care of me my sister my brother and our 7 horses along with horses he breaks in for people but he only gets those ocasionally and they end up costing more than they pay because of feeding them and all.

    I just can't handle any of this any more. I am 15 years old and in third year in Ireland so I have major exams this year then two more years left then more major exams then its off to college. I am being pressured by teachers friends and other people to have to know what to do with my life what job I want what course I need for that job what college has those courses I just don't know if I can take it any more, I have to study for exams, try to figure out my life after our family problems, and take care of around six horses now I just don't know what to do.

    Oh and sorry for the novel cookies for people who read it.
    GAH! I just wrote a HUGE response and the browser quit on me.

    I was in a very similar situation as yourself. To sum the big thing I had just typed, go to your mom and sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Ask her questions, get some answers.

    My parents were married for 25 years. He was a horrible, horrible man. I still loved him as a daughter and I still respected him but he was a monster(yes I know big word to use). He was physically and verbally abusive, he made us live in the worst living conditions possible. He showed no interest in his wife(my mom), or us growing up. He had a great paying job, but always put the money into other things leaving us in proverty conditions. My mother who is legally blind, and with a brain tumor(with a few other serious conditions), worked 2 jobs to be able to put food on the table while he did nothing for us. But I still loved him, I still saw him as my dad.

    Eventually after 25 years of marriage, he had a fight with my mother in the middle of a grocery store, was verbally abusive towards her, and drove off leaving her behind. She doesn't drive because she can't see, so she couldnt get herself home, she couldnt get herself out of the store(again because she is legally blind), she had no money, no cell phone. He went home, packed his stuff and left. He took everything financially and left her with nothing and 3 children still at home.

    We found out 6 months later he had been cheating and re-married to this lady. Karma works in interesting ways. He was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor 2 years after leaving his family behind.I cut all connections with him after he left but tried to reconnect when I found out he was dying. He didn't want to see me because I didn't want to meet his wife so I didn't see him one last time.

    Sit down with your mom and talk to her. Don't wait.
         

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