kinda freaking out over here - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 37 Old 06-07-2013, 01:59 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by MGTS View Post
Good luck on your date.
** Coming from a cult-ish "christian" background it's a turn-off to me but I'm always one to say whatever floats your boat and as long you are happy.
ugh I hate hearing that stuff, breaks my heart that people take such a beautiful thing and make it ugly.
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post #22 of 37 Old 06-07-2013, 02:05 AM Thread Starter
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so we had our date, it was really awkward at first cause we were both nervous and are just awkward people in general. After the awkwardness passed it was really fun, we just hung out sand walked around. We talked and I told him I wanna take it slow.
He WAS wanting to work at the ranch this summer. However he messaged me saying he's "found a way to take it alot slower" a camp in Alberta wants him to come out and make money for the whole summer. I'm thinking that might be to slow...I don't really want to tell him that though...I know I should be honest but I also think it might make it better too....could go either way....so yeah...advice would be cool...
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Equestrianism; 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and 100% reason to remember you're absolutely insane to be riding a beast that big.
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post #23 of 37 Old 06-07-2013, 07:10 AM
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Explain to him that you understand and agree about going slow, but do not understand or agree with putting distance between you. That is not going slow, that is going away.
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post #24 of 37 Old 06-07-2013, 11:12 AM
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Explain to him that you understand and agree about going slow, but do not understand or agree with putting distance between you. That is not going slow, that is going away.
Actually I disagree with that for a couple reasons. One is it will slow things down but not stop them. Modern communication being what it is you can still be in contact other than snail mail. Second is it will remove a lot of dating pressure so you two can get to know each other better.
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post #25 of 37 Old 06-07-2013, 11:47 AM
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Long distance at the beginning of a relationship is tough because the relationship is so new and you don't really know each other very well yet. I have been there and done the long distance thing while I was in a new relationship and it was tough. But it can either make ya or break ya. Depends on how you look at it. I would talk to him and tell your concerns. If he still decides to go away and you decide to continue the relationship then you can use that time to get to know each other and strengthen your relationship. Goodluck :)
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post #26 of 37 Old 06-08-2013, 01:49 AM Thread Starter
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Actually I disagree with that for a couple reasons. One is it will slow things down but not stop them. Modern communication being what it is you can still be in contact other than snail mail. Second is it will remove a lot of dating pressure so you two can get to know each other better.
that's the thing, I can see both sides but also...it's good to get e=to know each other in person

Equestrianism; 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and 100% reason to remember you're absolutely insane to be riding a beast that big.
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post #27 of 37 Old 06-11-2013, 06:18 PM
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so we had our date, it was really awkward at first cause we were both nervous and are just awkward people in general. After the awkwardness passed it was really fun, we just hung out sand walked around. We talked and I told him I wanna take it slow.
He WAS wanting to work at the ranch this summer. However he messaged me saying he's "found a way to take it alot slower" a camp in Alberta wants him to come out and make money for the whole summer. I'm thinking that might be to slow...I don't really want to tell him that though...I know I should be honest but I also think it might make it better too....could go either way....so yeah...advice would be cool...
Well ask yourself if this job would be good for him and if you're willing to wait to try again when he comes back. If not, then maybe it's time to look at other people.

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post #28 of 37 Old 06-12-2013, 06:25 AM
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Seems kinda creepy... that being said, if you like the guy, go for it!
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post #29 of 37 Old 06-12-2013, 06:54 AM
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Take it slow. I don't know how old you are but I take it fairly young. Don't pass up opportunities in love, but if it doesn't work then be prepared to let it go and find something else. You don't need to tie yourself to this boy over Summer, but you don't need to forget about him either.

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post #30 of 37 Old 06-12-2013, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Samstead View Post
ugh I hate hearing that stuff, breaks my heart that people take such a beautiful thing and make it ugly.
Honey it's not making a beautiful thing and making it ugly - it's taking something and blowing it way out of porportion that I grew up in. The cult I was in used "christianity" (and I spell it lower case and in quotes because I am not talking about REAL Christianity) and twisted scripture to support their abuse of power and control. And one of their BIG things was "let me PRAY on it" as justification for anything that those in positions of control wanted. And that included them making decisions on relationships/friendships - who could or couldnt talk or who couldnt be seen together ("the Lord impressed on me that the two of you together as friends is a stumbling block to others around you" - and yes I heard that to myself and to others MORE times that I care to recall).

Trust me I don't knock it for anyone who honestly chooses to pray for the Lord's guidance in every step of their lives. It just took me 10 years after leaving to clear my head and figure out life for myself and find the true meaning of Christian & communication with God, and I'm one who found he is the loving Lord who lets us make our own decisions and is there to help us pick up the pieces when we stumble and ask for his help.

So now I'm of the school that if someone has to pray about something and then back away after stepping up then I'm hesistant. But if it is something you are good with then GOOD for YOU

As for taking things slow - with today's communication means distance is a minor thing in all but being together in the flesh, skype, email, text messages, phone calls. The only draw back to distance is are you getting to know the real person or just the persona that they are choosing to allow you to see. Weigh the odds and you decide if that is the direction you want to take it. Or ride it out and see where it goes. That is a decision that you have to make for youself.
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