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let the temper tantrums begin... WARNING RANT

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        07-08-2008, 11:34 PM
      #11
    Trained
    Stick to your guns. My mother in law is a doozey :roll: It has taken me 6 years of pissing contests from that lovely doll of a woman but FINALLY she is respecting us as adults that can make compitent decisions without her! (my hubby is her only kid therefore he = "the golden child" :roll: <excuse me whilst I vomit>

    Be patient they do mean well but dang they can be a pain (in laws)

    Congrats and good luck with the little pink hyphanted one!
         
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        07-09-2008, 10:15 AM
      #12
    Yearling
    Thanks everybody.

    Well we officially turned in Sydney's birth certificate pre-registration sheet! So she is officially a hyphenate of our last names!

    Husband and I have decided just to let his family deal with their own issues. The best we can do is warn them...which is why I sent out the birth plan out of courtesy...and if they refuse to follow the rules they won't be allowed in the hospital. Plus MY mother will be there...and she don't take no crap from NOBODY! Sweet and simple. And on my pre-registration I listed that I DID NOT want to be listed in the facility directory...so they won't be able to find us if we don't want them to.
         
        07-09-2008, 01:32 PM
      #13
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hotreddun
    Thanks everybody.

    Well we officially turned in Sydney's birth certificate pre-registration sheet! So she is officially a hyphenate of our last names!

    Husband and I have decided just to let his family deal with their own issues. The best we can do is warn them...which is why I sent out the birth plan out of courtesy...and if they refuse to follow the rules they won't be allowed in the hospital. Plus MY mother will be there...and she don't take no crap from NOBODY! Sweet and simple. And on my pre-registration I listed that I DID NOT want to be listed in the facility directory...so they won't be able to find us if we don't want them to.
    I love your mom already. That's awesome. Good for you guys, I couldn't have said it better.
         
        07-10-2008, 09:12 AM
      #14
    Weanling
    Well, you are a bigger person than I....we aren't allowing ANYONE to visit in the hosptial. The family just sort of accepted it. I'm lucky in that my MIL totally understands and said she would have done the same thing if she'd had that option.I am am a totally private person and I don't want pics and visitors while I'm all battered and tired. Or breastfeeding. I know they don't come for the new mom anyways..just to pass the baby around, but still...

    Also, when we picked Charley as a name, there was silence, and awkward looks, but they have grown to love the name, as it's the grandbaby's indentity.

    I think you are being nice in letting them come at all. Really, I feel the Mom has a lot of say since she's the one that just did all the work. LOL I agree with you about the name, when your girl grows up, she can make desicions about her name then. .

    Good luck and I hope you have an easy delivery! Just remember, as my husband pointed out..if you get a little combative over the baby and your rules, you can always blame it on the hormones!! But better to put your foot down now! It will save a lot of hard feelings in the end.
         
        07-10-2008, 11:19 AM
      #15
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by barefoothooves
    Well, you are a bigger person than I....we aren't allowing ANYONE to visit in the hosptial. The family just sort of accepted it. I'm lucky in that my MIL totally understands and said she would have done the same thing if she'd had that option.I am am a totally private person and I don't want pics and visitors while I'm all battered and tired. Or breastfeeding. I know they don't come for the new mom anyways..just to pass the baby around, but still...

    Also, when we picked Charley as a name, there was silence, and awkward looks, but they have grown to love the name, as it's the grandbaby's indentity.

    I think you are being nice in letting them come at all. Really, I feel the Mom has a lot of say since she's the one that just did all the work. LOL I agree with you about the name, when your girl grows up, she can make desicions about her name then. .

    Good luck and I hope you have an easy delivery! Just remember, as my husband pointed out..if you get a little combative over the baby and your rules, you can always blame it on the hormones!! But better to put your foot down now! It will save a lot of hard feelings in the end.
    THANK YOU!

    See we spoke to most of the nursing staff when we took our hospital tour and they said that MOST mothers have strict rules about who can and can't visit. And his family reacted like it was totally bizarre and that I was out of control!

    I just don't want to be bombarded with visitors when I am popping out a breast every 2 hours to feed...look and feel exhausted...and just overall want peace and quiet.

    I (and most hospital staff agree) also feel that babies shouldn't be passed around right after birth...they need rest too not to mention need time to build up immunity to stuff.

    But this is typical of his family...somehow every event becomes something about "them" instead of us. For example...our wedding was very casual...extremely low key...planned in 48 hours His mom and dad came up to us AT THE CEREMONY...and said "they should have been included in the planning because this day was about them too." Give me a break.
         
        07-10-2008, 12:37 PM
      #16
    Weanling
    Oh Geez..all about them for your wedding? I don't think so. That's the one day it's ONLY about the couple.

    My Hubby and I got married in 3 days. LOL His dad was the preacher that married us, but he didn't steal the show. MY mom was the "Momzilla" about that..didn't want to help, chose not to show up, though invited, then threw a fit that she didnt' make it. Fortunately my family is immature enough to just not speak to me when they are mad, so we don't really have to deal with the drama much. My MIL thought it was romantic how we married on short notice, which suprised me.

    That "not passing the baby around" right after birth thing makes sense to me..surely they have a massive headache, not to mention the shock of being out of the cozy, warm womb. If it makes puppies and kittens sick, why can't it make humans sick? Besides, it's YOUR baby to bond with..they had their chance when they had your husband :roll: and any of his siblings years ago. Baby hogs. LOL
         

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