Life after divorce
 
 

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Life after divorce

This is a discussion on Life after divorce within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
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    12-23-2012, 12:32 AM
  #1
Yearling
Life after divorce

Unfortunately I made the inappropriate decision to get married at 22 years old. I was promptly divorced at the age of 24, when I found out my husband was cheating. This was after we had juuuust bought a beautiful home in Houston, Texas and I was beginning grad school. We had only been in the house 3 weeks, and I packed up my car and my dogs and moved back to California. Fast forward a bit... I'm done with school, I'm 29 years old now, and I've been fortunate enough to afford the life I've always dreamed of for myself (on my own, I might add!).

I had paid for the divorce. I paid for the lawyer, the court fees, and all the extras that went in to the whole mess. The major agreement was that on December 12, 2012... five years from the final court date, he was to pay me for my half of the house. In the interim he has married the mistress, is now with child, and has also filed for BANKRUPTCY. I have, of course, not received a penny from him. So i'm wondering if I should really go through all the stress, and the time of chasing after him through the courts. I'm entitled to that money. It would be a huge help to pay for my college loans as well. But i'm not sure it's worth the stress and my sanity.

I would love the greater wisdom of some folks that maybe have been through this sort of thing.
     
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    12-23-2012, 12:35 AM
  #2
Trained
Walk away. Or, file a lien on the house if he exempts it from the BK, and just wait til he eventually sells. He can't close until he clears the lien. Consult an attorney of course, but I would not go through all the expense and stress of going back to court. I'd probably walk if I could afford a nice life without ever having to deal with him again.
     
    12-23-2012, 12:41 AM
  #3
Trained
For me it would be the principle of the thing. I would file a lien.

I was in a similar situation. I was married at 22 and divorced at 25. My husband started dating via match.com while we were married and knocked a girl up. I found out about it and confronted her. There was NO WAY I would stay married to someone supporting a kid from an affair but she didn't know that. I knew he would marry her if I divorced him so I got her to pay me off without his knowledge to give him a quiet divorce.
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    12-23-2012, 01:39 AM
  #4
Trained
After 5 years of still being tied, financially to the person I divorced, I would just write it off and get on with my live. I'm talking from the 55 years old and looking back stand point and I have learned that some attachments just aren't good for me, so I try to let go and get gone. This is one where I'd be feeling like the bitterness and anger was just poisoning me, so I'd rather cut loose and walk away clean than to have to bring up all the old hurts, hates, anger, humiliations, etc etc.

I'm not saying that after consulting with an attorney, I wouldn't file a lien (quietly, wouldn't say a word) and just let it play out, but I wouldn't actively pursue the $$$. In this case it feels like the $$$ is attached to a lot of anger and negative feelings which will all be stirred back up if actively pursued.
     
    12-23-2012, 01:46 AM
  #5
Yearling
That does sound quite reasonable. Everything that I went though with him and with the divorce itself was pretty life altering. I feel like letting him continue to take up space in my life, in any facet, would be salt in a very old wound.
     
    12-23-2012, 08:01 AM
  #6
Green Broke
5 years later and you are still letting it have power over your life, move on and don't worry about it.
     
    12-23-2012, 10:58 AM
  #7
Banned
What is the situation with the house? Was it sold, or does he have it?
     
    12-23-2012, 11:45 AM
  #8
Green Broke
You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. That said if he's going through a bankruptcy and you're one of the creditors then I'd get in line with the rest of them if I thought there was the possibility of payment. I'd file a lien and when he sells it I'd collect my money.

You're already the winner in this deal anyway, but if you have debts to pay then by all means, try to collect.
     
    12-23-2012, 01:59 PM
  #9
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faceman    
What is the situation with the house? Was it sold, or does he have it?
He does indeed still have the house. Truth be told, we only paid 113K for it. Which is probably all it's worth now, with the way the market is. So he might sell the **** thing and only end up giving me $12 bucks out of the deal. Haha!
     
    12-23-2012, 02:47 PM
  #10
Green Broke
Walk away, really it just isnt worth the hassle, 5 years and you are still worried. Move on get out of "I'll show him mode" so he gets to pocket a couple thousand bucks , Who cares. You got your own life now.
     

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