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Life after divorce

This is a discussion on Life after divorce within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        12-23-2012, 02:06 PM
    I agree with Gunslinger and others, file a lien and ASAP. I don't know what's worse, waiting a bit longer in this mess and having the satisfaction of getting a check and knowing that you didn't back down, or looking back and saying darn why didn't I fight for what was rightfully mine and now im paying these bills every month.

    I've seen too many women struggle after divorce because they just wanted to move forward. I say take him to the cleaners.
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        12-23-2012, 05:48 PM
    Green Broke
    I'm not saying take him to the cleaners...and this has nothing to do with vengeance but rather, you being in debt instead of him being in debt.

    This is another business deal. You're in debt, and are, at the same time,owed a debt which is due.

    If you walk away you're gifting the money to him.

    Let him assume your debt, as he's about to take a bankruptcy, and both of you walk away without any debt.

    Its not your fault he can't pay.

    I don't think it's fair you have to pay the bill while he doesn't. If you were my ex wife I couldn't pay the bill fast enough as I wouldn't want this hanging over my head.

    Settle it now and move on.
        12-23-2012, 06:16 PM
    Well... as far as the debt goes, the only debt I actually have is school loans. Which I would have acquired on my own, married or not. However, my husband made a promise to me and only proceeded to lie and cheat. So I feel like i'm entitled to a least a small amount of reparations. I called my lawyer last night to see what advice he might have on the subject. Since it's the weekend, and a holiday one at that, I assume he won't return my call until later this week. But i'm interested to see what he thinks.
        12-23-2012, 06:35 PM
    Originally Posted by Oxer    
    He does indeed still have the house. Truth be told, we only paid 113K for it. Which is probably all it's worth now, with the way the market is. So he might sell the **** thing and only end up giving me $12 bucks out of the deal. Haha!
    Well, you need to find out exactly what your position is. Unless you have a signed guarantor release document from the lender, you are still responsible for the debt on the house - just as he is. A divorce court can award the house to whichever party it chooses and make agreements such as the one you have, but it cannot release a person from debt liability - only the lender can do that. Assuming you are still a guarantor on the loan, you should probably obtain a judgment and hang the judgment on the house in the form of a lien. I won't go into the details, but there are multiple reasons why you should probably do this, although I am not familiar with California laws. Honestly, you need to invest a few dollars in a consultation with appropriate counsel. Most importantly, having a judgment on the house gives you control over the sale because you will have to release the judgment before the house can change ownership. By having that control you can insure you don't get shafted...
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        12-23-2012, 11:34 PM
    I think taking the action FM outlined would remove and sense of control (worry) it might have over your life. It sounds like you have moved on pretty nicely, and I doubt anyone would want to "revisit" the situation...but it would be prudent to get counsel, and just bite the bullet and do revisit it in order to protect your "investment".
        12-24-2012, 08:51 AM
    Green Broke
    I would file a lien and let it go.

    I learned to never count on anything to come from my ex's promises, so when something would I called it gravy or icing. Just a little extra something.
        12-24-2012, 09:17 AM
    Green Broke
    I may be wrong on this, but did you buy the house or borrow most all the money to buy a house ?
    Your agreement probably intitiles you to half the equity ?,,, as you said the value has dropped. Good possibility your half of the equity is a negative number. My X tried pulling that on my house, IE was mine before marriage, she decided she deserved half the accumulated during marriage equity. My lawyer and I fully agreed. So we sent her a bill for $5000 for her half of the $10,000 loss. She shut up....
    "press hard, five copies".
        12-24-2012, 11:14 AM
    Originally Posted by DancingArabian    
    For me it would be the principle of the thing. I would file a lien.

    I was in a similar situation. I was married at 22 and divorced at 25. My husband started dating via while we were married and knocked a girl up. I found out about it and confronted her. There was NO WAY I would stay married to someone supporting a kid from an affair but she didn't know that. I knew he would marry her if I divorced him so I got her to pay me off without his knowledge to give him a quiet divorce.
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    Oh, that is positively GREAT justice. Congratulations!
        12-25-2012, 04:56 PM
    I am sorry but this making really annoyed seen people say Walk away.. She paid for the whole thing and he the one who has cheated on her. Now I am no saint my self because I have not long ago done something ******ed but I let my EX wife have everything. Though granted me and my ex are friends and we have good relationship but still...

    Now the fact the house is a major asset I would file a lien or something because end of the day half of it is yours. What I would do is prepare your self than throwing your into this fight. Bankruptcy or not I would not just walk away and let him have it all.

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