Life Isn't Working Out, Need Outside Advice - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 02:08 PM
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My sister in law just goes from guy to guy and shacks up w them. She has yet to need a full time job or pay for anything.

On a serious note, I would find a home for the cats if that is the issue finding a place. I also wouldn't assume you can find a job after moving. I would look first and be hired before moving.

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post #12 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 02:11 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 80acorns View Post
My sister in law just goes from guy to guy and shacks up w them. She has yet to need a full time job or pay for anything.

On a serious note, I would find a home for the cats if that is the issue finding a place. I also wouldn't assume you can find a job after moving. I would look first and be hired before moving.

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On a very serious note, cats are not disposable and that is a terrible option to suggest.

Realistically, I would obviously try to find employment before leaving at all, that would be preferable, but bringing some savings with me would help if that weren't feasible.
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...you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ... Explore. Dream. Discover.”
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post #13 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 02:16 PM
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Sorry but no. If your backup plan is welfare the you've got no business moving. Working "anywhere" is not realistic. You might find a job that doesn't pay you enough. Then what? Welfare?

No.
That is incredibly irresponsible and selfish.

What are your job skills? What's your education? What are your future plans to provide for yourself?

Saying you'll just get whatever job and hope it all works out and if not there's always welfare is a horrible "plan".
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post #14 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by DancingArabian View Post
Sorry but no. If your backup plan is welfare the you've got no business moving. Working "anywhere" is not realistic. You might find a job that doesn't pay you enough. Then what? Welfare?

No.
That is incredibly irresponsible and selfish.

What are your job skills? What's your education? What are your future plans to provide for yourself?

Saying you'll just get whatever job and hope it all works out and if not there's always welfare is a horrible "plan".
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I understand what you're saying, but are you also saying that being without a place to live here is a better plan? When I say whatever job, I do mean fast food would be fine. I don't have intentions to be on welfare, I'd much rather work. Unfortunately with the lack of rentals here, it's not providing me any options. There was a fairly regent crackdown on illegal suites here and decimated available suites by about 80% and drove up prices for the rest. I'm in a compromising situation that I've never been in before due to this. I hate everything about this situation and especially this town. Moving with 2 months of living expenses is better than being employed and homeless now, in my view.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?

...you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ... Explore. Dream. Discover.”
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post #15 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 02:41 PM
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Aspin the pattern I was speaking of is that you have moved 3 times each time did not work out. Now you want to move again.
Moving is not going to solve anything. Discuss the situation with your father . Come to an agreement about what you can and are willing to pay. Get it in writing and stick to it.
Before moving find a job and save money. If the cats are too expensive then yes as suggested they need to be placed elsewhere. That or continue to live in less than desirable conditions.
Your young think long term not just about temporary fixes. Once again good luck. Shalom
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post #16 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by aspin231 View Post
On a very serious note, cats are not disposable and that is a terrible option to suggest.

Realistically, I would obviously try to find employment before leaving at all, that would be preferable, but bringing some savings with me would help if that weren't feasible.
It's not a terrible option. It is a realistic option. Welcome to the real world where you have to make tough decisions. I didn't say throw them in a river, I suggested rehoming them. If you don't want to do that, then you are stuck in a crappy situation of your own design. Welcome to being an adult.

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post #17 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 11:12 PM
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Originally Posted by aspin231 View Post
I understand what you're saying, but are you also saying that being without a place to live here is a better plan? When I say whatever job, I do mean fast food would be fine. I don't have intentions to be on welfare, I'd much rather work. Unfortunately with the lack of rentals here, it's not providing me any options. There was a fairly regent crackdown on illegal suites here and decimated available suites by about 80% and drove up prices for the rest. I'm in a compromising situation that I've never been in before due to this. I hate everything about this situation and especially this town. Moving with 2 months of living expenses is better than being employed and homeless now, in my view.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I would find a job where I was NOW and save up money. Yes your living situation is sucky, but that's not going to improve ever with the path you're going on. Pay your father some rent and get your act together. Stop worrying about what he's doing - as long as he's not involving you or endangering you, let him stuff himself full of whatever he wants. As long as the rent is paid and he doesn't blow your money on whatever.


What are your plans for the future? What are your job skills? What makes you employable? What about your education and future plans for an education?

* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
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post #18 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 11:23 PM
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Tough situation.

I can't imagine giving my father "rent" every month just to watch him blow it on drugs.

That being said, it may be best to stay there for a few months, work as much as you can so you don't have to be around him, save as much money as you can and get out of there.
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post #19 of 44 Old 10-18-2013, 11:51 PM
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Just a thought, but maybe you should think about selling your good points to potential landlords better. Put yourself in a landlord's place - not every potential renter is quiet, clean, responsible and keeps to themselves and pays their rent on time. Get them to overlook the cat issue.

There is just as much horse sense as ever, but the horses have most of it.
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post #20 of 44 Old 10-19-2013, 02:18 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by dbarabians View Post
Aspin the pattern I was speaking of is that you have moved 3 times each time did not work out. Now you want to move again.
Moving is not going to solve anything. Discuss the situation with your father . Come to an agreement about what you can and are willing to pay. Get it in writing and stick to it.
Before moving find a job and save money. If the cats are too expensive then yes as suggested they need to be placed elsewhere. That or continue to live in less than desirable conditions.
Your young think long term not just about temporary fixes. Once again good luck. Shalom
I had settled in my mind to move a few months back, and moving sooner is only that- expediting the process. Also, there was never mention of my cats being unaffordable to me. The only way you might be seeing that they have become unaffordable is because of the lack of rentals. The lack of rentals was not caused by the cats, it just happens to be the issue I'm now facing that I've never had to face before in my four years of renting.
The cats are staying, so is my horse, and that is non-negotiable.

The issue with paying rent is not my ability to afford it, more so that he has gone back on his word on what the agreement was.

I also take great offense to your insinuation that I'm not thinking of my future. The point in leaving this town that I can't properly afford is to better my future. It puts me closer to schooling and better opportunities. I'm just trying to get there and facing some substantial adversity in the process.

...you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ... Explore. Dream. Discover.”
–Mark Twain
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