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Life Isn't Working Out, Need Outside Advice

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        10-19-2013, 02:20 AM
      #21
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 80acorns    
    It's not a terrible option. It is a realistic option. Welcome to the real world where you have to make tough decisions. I didn't say throw them in a river, I suggested rehoming them. If you don't want to do that, then you are stuck in a crappy situation of your own design. Welcome to being an adult.

    Sent from Petguide.com Free App
    As I said, cats are not disposable. They are not going anywhere. I've had them both since they were kittens, one 8 years and one 3. What you're suggesting is akin to asking me to give away a child.
    What's transpiring currently is a temporary issue- ridding myself of the cats is both permanent and not a solution, so I do not see the logic in your argument.
         
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        10-19-2013, 02:25 AM
      #22
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DancingArabian    
    Sorry but no. If your backup plan is welfare the you've got no business moving. Working "anywhere" is not realistic. You might find a job that doesn't pay you enough. Then what? Welfare?

    No.
    That is incredibly irresponsible and selfish.

    What are your job skills? What's your education? What are your future plans to provide for yourself?

    Saying you'll just get whatever job and hope it all works out and if not there's always welfare is a horrible "plan".
    Posted via Mobile Device
    I'm not sure where you think my standards lie, but my current income is minimum wage, working very close to full time. Going to a new province with two months of living expenses is more than prudent in my opinion, since all I'd initially be searching for is any job that pays minimum wage, and thankfully those can be found.
    I can infer from your posts that you've never taken any kind of risk, and if that's the way you want to live, enjoy. I also assume you have at least 2 months of living expenses just sitting in your bank account, since you're criticizing my plan of doing exactly that.
    As I said before, I have no intentions of going on welfare, and only really suggested it since you seem to think that in two months, I won't be able to find a McJob.
         
        10-19-2013, 02:27 AM
      #23
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DancingArabian    
    I would find a job where I was NOW and save up money. Yes your living situation is sucky, but that's not going to improve ever with the path you're going on. Pay your father some rent and get your act together. Stop worrying about what he's doing - as long as he's not involving you or endangering you, let him stuff himself full of whatever he wants. As long as the rent is paid and he doesn't blow your money on whatever.


    What are your plans for the future? What are your job skills? What makes you employable? What about your education and future plans for an education?
    I am employed- where did you miss this?! I'm living with my father due to a massive downturn in the amount of available rentals, and subsequent price increase in the ones remaining- not due to lack of funds. I am saving and have been saving. I suggest you re-read my initial post.
         
        10-19-2013, 02:34 AM
      #24
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JulieG    
    Tough situation.

    I can't imagine giving my father "rent" every month just to watch him blow it on drugs.

    That being said, it may be best to stay there for a few months, work as much as you can so you don't have to be around him, save as much money as you can and get out of there.
    That's what I intend to do, and I'm glad there are some that share my logic. I appreciate your reply.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Missy May    
    Just a thought, but maybe you should think about selling your good points to potential landlords better. Put yourself in a landlord's place - not every potential renter is quiet, clean, responsible and keeps to themselves and pays their rent on time. Get them to overlook the cat issue.
    The unfortunate thing is that with so few rentals and so many people wanting them, the ones with pets are being thrown by the wayside, regardless of responsibility. In all my meetings with landlords, there really doesn't seem to be any real screening process, it's whoever is there first with the deposit, who fits their criteria, gets the house. This is truly a pet-phobic town with only about 5-10% of rentals listing pets allowed. This wasn't the case just a year ago but unfortunately is now and that is putting me in a compromising situation. Thanks for your thoughts.
    JulieG likes this.
         
        10-19-2013, 02:49 AM
      #25
    Trained
    Aspin you are the one who asked for advice. Expecting it all to come coated in sugar is unrealistic. Some of it you may not want to hear but it might be given from a person who has experienced the same thing you are.
    No need to be defensive no one is judging you and if they are then that is their problem.
    Asking for advice to improve your living conditions is a smart thing to do.
    Make a plan and if I were you I would have more than 2 months of salary saved for the move.
    You are intelligent and deserve to live as well as you can. Making that happen is not going to be without sacrifice and struggle.
    Once again good luck. Shalom
         
        10-19-2013, 02:59 AM
      #26
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dbarabians    
    Aspin you are the one who asked for advice. Expecting it all to come coated in sugar is unrealistic. Some of it you may not want to hear but it might be given from a person who has experienced the same thing you are.
    No need to be defensive no one is judging you and if they are then that is their problem.
    Asking for advice to improve your living conditions is a smart thing to do.
    Make a plan and if I were you I would have more than 2 months of salary saved for the move.
    You are intelligent and deserve to live as well as you can. Making that happen is not going to be without sacrifice and struggle.
    Once again good luck. Shalom
    Yes, I did ask for advice, what I expected was less of a personal attack and more discussion of options. There is definitely judging going on and for some reason it's being assumed that what I've put out as a potential plan is set in stone, which simply isn't the case. I'm in a very compromising situation due to circumstances outside of my control and am looking for ideas that could help resolve the issue. What's happening, even from you, is a lack of attention to what I've made sure to say and ridiculous suggestions given the circumstances.
    I am obviously trying to make a plan. I can either have two months of expenses saved in 2-3 months or in 10 months, depending on where I'm living and the rental rate there. I cannot afford to live in this town and am trying to leave for that reason, among others. I can't see how trying to get myself in to a position where I can actually further my life warrants the criticism I have received.
         
        10-19-2013, 03:04 AM
      #27
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by aspin231    
    I had settled in my mind to move a few months back, and moving sooner is only that- expediting the process. Also, there was never mention of my cats being unaffordable to me. The only way you might be seeing that they have become unaffordable is because of the lack of rentals. The lack of rentals was not caused by the cats, it just happens to be the issue I'm now facing that I've never had to face before in my four years of renting.
    The cats are staying, so is my horse, and that is non-negotiable.

    The issue with paying rent is not my ability to afford it, more so that he has gone back on his word on what the agreement was.

    I also take great offense to your insinuation that I'm not thinking of my future. The point in leaving this town that I can't properly afford is to better my future. It puts me closer to schooling and better opportunities. I'm just trying to get there and facing some substantial adversity in the process.
    I did not see this before I posted my last comments. I did not state that you were not thinking of your future just that you needed to think long term not temporary fixes/ anyone that has moved 3 times in 5 years due to unpleasant circumstances is thinking short term solutions.
    Horses and cats are luxuries and if they are non negotiable then IMPO you are not willing to take the steps to better your living conditions. Stop making excuses and take action.
    Before you dismiss me allow me to inform you that I am a psychologist and have counseled others in the same situation.
    I do not think you are stupid nor do I think you are being foolish. However making the changes in your life to better yourself will demand compromising your current standards. Once again good luck. Shalom
         
        10-19-2013, 03:36 AM
      #28
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dbarabians    
    I did not see this before I posted my last comments. I did not state that you were not thinking of your future just that you needed to think long term not temporary fixes/ anyone that has moved 3 times in 5 years due to unpleasant circumstances is thinking short term solutions.
    Horses and cats are luxuries and if they are non negotiable then IMPO you are not willing to take the steps to better your living conditions. Stop making excuses and take action.
    Before you dismiss me allow me to inform you that I am a psychologist and have counseled others in the same situation.
    I do not think you are stupid nor do I think you are being foolish. However making the changes in your life to better yourself will demand compromising your current standards. Once again good luck. Shalom
    Putting yourself first is obviously paramount, however, if you've been counseling others to rid themselves of their companion animals when there were alternatives, what you've successfully done is displaced animals needlessly and for foolish reasons.
    It may also shock you to learn that I've lived in 8 houses in the past 4 years. I'm quite happy to go in to detail via PM, but the reasons for moving were not for short term solutions- all were meant to last. Please, PM me, I'd like to enlighten you.
    Also, it is not my actions but the lack of available rentals, that is causing my inability to find one, making my living conditions less than desirable. As I have already said, due to illegal suites being taken off the market, there are about 80% less available rentals. The prices of the ones remaining have gone up due to basic supply and demand. Finding affordable rentals has never been an issue before in the past, but unfortunately there are absolutely zero within my budget in this city, just now since the number of suites declined.
    What I'm trying to do is move to a city where the rentals are within my budget, even assuming I'd be working at minimum wage. The rentals there cost about 40% less than here. That would put me in a more optimal position to better my future. That is where the long term solutions come in. I recognize that this city cannot provide me with that, and want to leave so I can eek out a better life.
         
        10-19-2013, 04:49 AM
      #29
    Started
    What Julie said.

    I'm impressed with your maturity, at age 19 for goodness' sakes!

    Agree that so many landlords are cold with the "No pets!" these days!

    Yet, beyond that, the entire world is going down the tubes, so my suggestion is to remember that G-d is in control, & to hand your life over to him, for a major de-stressor!

    When I get frustrated with my life & the way that the world is deteriorating, I tell myself, "G-d controls it all, so praise G-d, He knows what He's doing."

    Good Luck!
    dlady and JulieG like this.
         
        10-19-2013, 05:31 AM
      #30
    Weanling
    Just curious, but where does the horse fit into your financial situation and also in your move. I would personally be more concerned with that aspect than I would be of you other animals. A really big and costly responsibility in my opinion.

    Not attacking, just trying to understand.
    dbarabians likes this.
         

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