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Life Isn't Working Out, Need Outside Advice

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        10-19-2013, 05:38 AM
      #31
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bkylem    
    Just curious, but where does the horse fit into your financial situation and also in your move. I would personally be more concerned with that aspect than I would be of you other animals. A really big and costly responsibility in my opinion.

    Not attacking, just trying to understand.
    The expense of moving him with me is included in my figures for my move in general. In my plan for saved living expenses, that's one of the expenses accounted for as well. I'm quite used to lugging him around. As a plus, board is cheaper there than here too.

    I honestly am not in financial peril (and not a spec of debt), I just can't afford to pay the high rental rates here, which as I've said, have spiked, and also save for my move in a reasonable amount of time. It's one or the other, really.
         
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        10-19-2013, 08:32 PM
      #32
    Green Broke
    Your situation sounds really tough. Parents are supposed to support their children, you're covering your food and utilities, and offering to help with renovations and pet bills instead of paying rent. I think this is reasonable but even if others don't, your father agreed to this. Sure the "real world" is hard but in the "real world" if someone were to rent out a room for an agreed upon sum they can't just up it whenever they like.

    I think some people on here are being unfair. Finding decent accommodation can be so hard and often it's awful. For many years I'd move 4 or sometimes 5 times a year just from house to house. That's what the reality is for a lot of people looking for rooms in that price bracket. You're sharing with strangers that 90% aren't how they claim to be, and when they start taking your things, not paying bills and generally living in ways that make it very difficult for you to live yours you have to move. It doesn't mean you're making bad decisions or anything, just the reality of the situation.

    I don't know the system your countries, but here "welfare" payments are designed to help people get through tricky situations, help people get on their feet. If a 19 year old with poor housing, no parental support moves to a city to get a good job and find opportunities and is seriously looking for work needs support, then that's what I think welfare is for. Moving to this place, finding a good job and paying taxes pays back what she used. To me that's what the system was designed for. I'm not saying it's a plan to go on it, but it's not a shameful or disgraceful thing.

    My advice is to be sure that things will be better in this city. Research employment, industries and such because often, even though there are many more jobs advertised, the unskilled unemployment rate can be higher in cities. The applicants are better educated and with more experience (just because there is more of them), and people in cities can be less likely to take a chance on someone. So really be sure. When I was younger I thought it was a great idea to move to the city, work, life, housing etc and I did. After going through a few jobs that just did not work out I found a okay one, but then decided to go get educated. It wasn't anything like I thought in the city, it wasn't really anything at all. Just another big place full of strangers. Living in the country, smaller cities and towns, I've found more opportunity.
    JulieG likes this.
         
        10-19-2013, 09:53 PM
      #33
    Trained
    I vote to try to find a way to make it work where you are until you have enough money put aside to do your move as planned. Mostly because, if the rentals are that much cheaper in the other town, there is a reason and that reason might be job force related. Usually, the more work that is available, the less rentals that are available. If there are lots of rentals, it's because people are moving out due to lack of employment options. Not always, but mostly.

    Also, trying to find a rental unit in the other town with cats might be just as hard as where you are now. Research this before you move.

    Also, in Canada landlords can't ask for proof of income? I didn't know that. I know that they often ask for references and job history, but I don't know what they are or aren't allowed to do.
         
        10-19-2013, 10:17 PM
      #34
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by aspin231    
    I'm not sure where you think my standards lie, but my current income is minimum wage, working very close to full time. Going to a new province with two months of living expenses is more than prudent in my opinion, since all I'd initially be searching for is any job that pays minimum wage, and thankfully those can be found.
    I can infer from your posts that you've never taken any kind of risk, and if that's the way you want to live, enjoy. I also assume you have at least 2 months of living expenses just sitting in your bank account, since you're criticizing my plan of doing exactly that.
    As I said before, I have no intentions of going on welfare, and only really suggested it since you seem to think that in two months, I won't be able to find a McJob.

    You're inferring incorrectly :) When I first moved out of my mother's house, it was to a place 1,000 miles away, to an apartment I had only seen in pictures on the internet to a city where I only had a few internet friends and did not have a job lined up nor a vehicle to get around in. Heck, I didn't even know how to drive a car or even pump gas.

    I saved up for several months to be able to afford the move. I signed a short-term lease on an apartment with an option to renew, and paid off the lease in full before I moved in. Here, landlords ask for proof of income and a few other things. However, if you pay it all up front, they will not check.

    Pretty risky, I'd say. :)

    It must be a US thing, because I know people who have spent YEARS looking for "any" job and can't get hired. So yes, given our current economical situation here in the US, of course I'm going to think that making a big leap like the one you're planning with only 2 months of savings is a huge risk.
         
        10-19-2013, 10:40 PM
      #35
    Weanling
    My biggest concern and first question is are you safe? Are there drugs/drug use in the house? Do his friends come over intoxicated/high? Does he have anger issues?
    Your personal safety is your first priority.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    dbarabians likes this.
         
        10-19-2013, 11:17 PM
      #36
    Foal
    I am so sorry for the situation you are in....you are correct...if you dad agreed that you would pay vet bills and do some home improvements in lieu of rent....that deal should hold....maybe you can try talking with him again....but if he is using drugs...he may not be clear minded enough to have this discussion....is there a church in you community that can possibly could help you.....or another family member that you could stay with until you can save enough money for a move with another job secured before you would move?
         
        10-19-2013, 11:49 PM
      #37
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Saskia    
    Your situation sounds really tough. Parents are supposed to support their children, you're covering your food and utilities, and offering to help with renovations and pet bills instead of paying rent. I think this is reasonable but even if others don't, your father agreed to this. Sure the "real world" is hard but in the "real world" if someone were to rent out a room for an agreed upon sum they can't just up it whenever they like.

    I think some people on here are being unfair. Finding decent accommodation can be so hard and often it's awful. For many years I'd move 4 or sometimes 5 times a year just from house to house. That's what the reality is for a lot of people looking for rooms in that price bracket. You're sharing with strangers that 90% aren't how they claim to be, and when they start taking your things, not paying bills and generally living in ways that make it very difficult for you to live yours you have to move. It doesn't mean you're making bad decisions or anything, just the reality of the situation.

    I don't know the system your countries, but here "welfare" payments are designed to help people get through tricky situations, help people get on their feet. If a 19 year old with poor housing, no parental support moves to a city to get a good job and find opportunities and is seriously looking for work needs support, then that's what I think welfare is for. Moving to this place, finding a good job and paying taxes pays back what she used. To me that's what the system was designed for. I'm not saying it's a plan to go on it, but it's not a shameful or disgraceful thing.

    My advice is to be sure that things will be better in this city. Research employment, industries and such because often, even though there are many more jobs advertised, the unskilled unemployment rate can be higher in cities. The applicants are better educated and with more experience (just because there is more of them), and people in cities can be less likely to take a chance on someone. So really be sure. When I was younger I thought it was a great idea to move to the city, work, life, housing etc and I did. After going through a few jobs that just did not work out I found a okay one, but then decided to go get educated. It wasn't anything like I thought in the city, it wasn't really anything at all. Just another big place full of strangers. Living in the country, smaller cities and towns, I've found more opportunity.
    Thanks for the advice. I do intend to continue schooling once there, settled and enjoying things, which is one of the reasons I want to move. The industries available there are more in tune with what I want to do in life than where I am now.
    I also appreciate your comment on the welfare situation. There are obviously people who abuse the system, but it is similarly geared here.
         
        10-19-2013, 11:54 PM
      #38
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by NorthernMama    
    I vote to try to find a way to make it work where you are until you have enough money put aside to do your move as planned. Mostly because, if the rentals are that much cheaper in the other town, there is a reason and that reason might be job force related. Usually, the more work that is available, the less rentals that are available. If there are lots of rentals, it's because people are moving out due to lack of employment options. Not always, but mostly.

    Also, trying to find a rental unit in the other town with cats might be just as hard as where you are now. Research this before you move.

    Also, in Canada landlords can't ask for proof of income? I didn't know that. I know that they often ask for references and job history, but I don't know what they are or aren't allowed to do.
    The city I'm moving to is notoriously livable, and has a certain joie de vivre and culture that helps keep living costs low. I have had three of my former classmates move there actually, and from what they tell me, that is truly the case.

    As for asking for proof of income, I know at very least that in BC they cannot. Unless your money is suspected of coming from an illegal source, the tenancy acts basically says that it's none of their business where you get it from. That's not to say that some landlords don't push the envelope regardless.
         
        10-20-2013, 12:01 AM
      #39
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DancingArabian    
    You're inferring incorrectly :) When I first moved out of my mother's house, it was to a place 1,000 miles away, to an apartment I had only seen in pictures on the internet to a city where I only had a few internet friends and did not have a job lined up nor a vehicle to get around in. Heck, I didn't even know how to drive a car or even pump gas.

    I saved up for several months to be able to afford the move. I signed a short-term lease on an apartment with an option to renew, and paid off the lease in full before I moved in. Here, landlords ask for proof of income and a few other things. However, if you pay it all up front, they will not check.

    Pretty risky, I'd say. :)

    It must be a US thing, because I know people who have spent YEARS looking for "any" job and can't get hired. So yes, given our current economical situation here in the US, of course I'm going to think that making a big leap like the one you're planning with only 2 months of savings is a huge risk.
    With all due respect, it seems that you were much more unprepared for your move than I will be for mine. This move isn't my "first foray" in the "real world" as I've been out and about for four years and have a better idea about what renting entails. I won't be renting sight unseen as I have friends who have agreed to put me up while I view places (though it is an hour out of the city) so I'll be actually able to meet the landlords etc before moving in. Though not really necessary, I do have a car, know how to pump gas and have been driving for a few years. So yes, I'd qualify what you did as risky, but for different reasons to what I'm doing. You would have had less life experience then than I do now.
    Also, I do think the US economy is worse off than the Canadian one, at least for lower-end jobs. Basically here, if you want a job badly enough, there is always someone looking. Perhaps in the states it would be riskier.
         
        10-20-2013, 12:02 AM
      #40
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by redpony    
    My biggest concern and first question is are you safe? Are there drugs/drug use in the house? Do his friends come over intoxicated/high? Does he have anger issues?
    Your personal safety is your first priority.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    I'm safe enough, I suppose.
    I wouldn't be here if I had been able to find another option.
    Which is why I'd like to move sooner than initially anticipated.
         

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