Looking for Words of Wisdom - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
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Location: NW Ontario, Canada
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Looking for Words of Wisdom

Right now, I'm very hung over/still drunk.
Let's say, that the love of my life, crushed me more by telling me he suddenly has a girlfriend. After we had a wonderful night together a night before, and him telling me he loved me still, wanted me back, and everything.
(For those of you tuning in, he suddenly broke up with me 3 weeks ago out of the blue)
I'm hurting really bad. I actually OD (on anti-depressants) on Wednesday after a fight which ended me in the hospital. I was released afterward that night. Also got my perscription back yet my mom hasn't picked it up at all.
I'm so lost and confused and hurting so badly, I don't know what to do at all about all this.
People telling me "get over him" doesn't help at all. I just can't forget someone I loved for 6 months while with him, and crushing on him for over 12+ years. I just can't let go.
I only see my therapist once a month. And cramming a months worth of feelings into one hour doesn't do it. I need someone with me, to be there and to help me thru this.
Phone calls to Help Lines are not helpful to me. They only help for the time they talk to me.
Right now, I'm reading Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, anything to get my mind off him and knowing something good is out there.
I can't live without him. I just can't.
I had one bad heartbreak, this is number two heartbreak. I don't want to go thru a third one at all.
So any words of wisdom or things to help me get thru, that would be really awesome. Thank you.

Grooming - The fine art of brushing the dirt from one's horse and applying it to your own body.
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post #2 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 10:57 AM
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Oh my goodness. Trust me, I have been there. I know the feelings when it seems like your whole world is crushed and you're all alone. It's a horrible thing to go through. I can PROMISE you that this is only temporary. Life truly does move on and get better, no matter how dark things are. If only it was so simple to just "get over it," but that isn't always possible. Give it time, stay busy, just don't wallow in grief and let it consume you. Go to the barn, go hang out at a bookstore, get some friends to go to the movies or just walk around a shopping center! Don't stay at home, please. Just know that it absolutely WILL get better, and everyone is here for you.

Smart people listen. Not so smart people think they do not need to hear what others have to say.
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post #3 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 02:28 PM
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Oh, hun. Big hugs for you .

I don't say you have to get over him but you will get over him some day. Sometimes we have to go through hard times but we can do it. Just give yourself time enough.

Can you express your feelings any other way? Can you for example write, paint or draw? Some people feel even a bit better if they can do something like that.

Here's also your mom, how she takes it? I hope you'll have all that support that you need to.

If it helps even a bit, I'm sure we all agree with it that you're always welcome to come here and let some steams off here.

And wow... the new one after just 3 weeks. I think I don't want to comment on that

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Että koskaan en ole yksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Vaikka myrsky hetkeksi tyyntyykin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Ja pian taas uusin hönkäyksin, varjo seuraa onneain.
Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

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post #4 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 02:50 PM
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Try kickboxing or other strenuous activity. It's hard to feel bad when your kicking ass.

There's nothing like the Rockies in the springtime... Nothing like the freedom in the air... And there ain't nothing better than draggin calves to the fire and there's nothing like the smell of burning hair. -Brenn Hill
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post #5 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by kevinshorses View Post
Try kickboxing or other strenuous activity. It's hard to feel bad when your kicking ass.
Actually, I COMPLETELY agree with this! Join a gym, find a kickboxing class, or anything other kind of sport that really lets out aggression. It's awesome!

Smart people listen. Not so smart people think they do not need to hear what others have to say.
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post #6 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 03:13 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
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I agree with the above!! Go kick some.... And while you are doing it don't try to think of anything. If you work out until you are exhausted it will help you to not think about it all. :) You'll sleep and relax much better. If you can't do that then run or walk a dog. Ride your horse and just think of the wind.

I know this is a hard time. I dated a guy that dumped me on our one ear anniversary and had a few different girls he was messing with within a couple weeks. Please don't do things that will hurt you. In the long run it only makes things harder. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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post #7 of 7 Old 12-09-2009, 04:06 PM
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Hun, you need to be with people at a time like this. I am oh so sorry you're going through a heartbreak like this - I know how much it hurts. You aren't alone, and you aren't the only one who has felt the way you do.
I have had my heart broken once, by my first love (first for many things actually.) I got through it by surrounding myself with girlfriends and watching Friends and Grey's Anatomy for hours on end while eating ice cream. I remember crying for weeks on end, and feeling like I would never feel whole again. I remember feeling like part of my heart had been ripped out, and sometimes I cried just to feel something again.
Then one day I didn't think about him for an hour. Then another day I didn't think about him for half a day. Then a whole day went by and I didn't think of him.
Sometimes he pops up in my mind.... and I remember the good times that we had... but I also remember the bad times. The times that I felt worthless to him.
WTAS, I went back and read a few of your posts, and I have to say that I for one am happy for you that he's out of your life. At least for now.
Who knows, maybe he'll grow up and you two will end up together, but I think, from a completely outsider's point of view, that a lot of things have to change before that happens. Maybe, without you, he'll realize how good a girl you are, and what he's missing. But, here's my witchy side, I hope when that happens, you'll have found someone else, someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated.
The last thing I have to say is that no person is worth killing yourself over. You have to love yourself and accept yourself as you are - if you don't, how is everyone else supposed to?
*hugs* hun, you are an amazing woman that has so much to offer the world, and all your friends and the lucky men who get to share their lives with you - sometime soon, you'll find the one who you want to share the rest of your life with.

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