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Marriage

This is a discussion on Marriage within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        04-26-2013, 09:53 PM
      #31
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Hidalgo13    
    I think you are very wise to wait, and I agree with telling people you are waiting until he comes back from the army. Should be good enough to keep their mouths shut.

    But wow, where I live the mentality is quite the opposite! If someone asks an 18 year old when they're getting married, they'll get a funny look and be considered crazy. My cousin is 19 and extremely mature and she was lucky enough to meet the love of her life last year (whose also 19). They are both in college, although my cousin studies half the year and then works the other half for the government (a simple clerk job) to have money for school and what not. They are getting married this summer and many of her friends are against it (she's lost many friendships due to this), but they are both ready for it in every way. My sisters are also not too happy about it, but it's because they don't know her as well as I do since I have spent much more time with her (we are the same age, but my sisters are 10-11 years older than us).

    Anywho... they're probably all asking because they are in the mood for a nice celebration and some good food and dancing.
    Congrats to your cousin and her fiance! I don't see anything wrong with getting married at a young age, as long is the couple is ready. I love summer weddings. :)
    Well, good Lord..If they're looking for a good party, we could always have a bonfire and cook bbq on the grill! ;)
    Hidalgo13 likes this.
         
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        04-27-2013, 02:57 AM
      #32
    Weanling
    I got married to my first husband when I was 18.. We were married almost 8 years before I finally wisened up and jumped that ship... I want to complain about how that was a wasted 10 years of my life- but in reality it got me to where I needed to be both mentally and physically ( moving from one state to the next..to the next lol) to finally finding my current husband (who is absolutely a keeper)...any way enough about mee.

    On the other side of the coin. My bff got married while in HS..her and her idiot husband are still goingstrong and actually just renewed their vows last july...

    What you need and want at 18 can be vastly different than what you will need and want at 28. Just keep that in mind when making such a commitment.
         
        04-27-2013, 01:06 PM
      #33
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by peppersgirl    
    What you need and want at 18 can be vastly different than what you will need and want at 28. Just keep that in mind when making such a commitment.
    The key word here is commitment.

    Say what you mean and mean what you say.

    My story is a lot like yours....married at 18, divorced at 21.

    For what it's worth, I didn't quit on my first wife, she quit on me.

    My present and last wife could have quit on me a hundred times over the years as god knows she's had the reasons to do it.

    She hasn't yet. I think that's what makes every year more special. Till death do us part was a promise we made to god and to each other. Lots of forgiveness is required to make a marriage last IMO.

    The good thing is, marriage seems to get easier the longer it lasts, although I've had a few friends that divorced well into their 50's.
    Hidalgo13 likes this.
         
        04-27-2013, 10:21 PM
      #34
    Trained
    Wow, like others I can't believe people would ask someone your age when they are getting married. I think I would answer w a question, "why are you asking an 18 yo such a question?".

    Besides, half the fun is thinking about it in the future sense, so you might as well enjoy thinking about for as long as you can.:)
         
        04-28-2013, 06:03 AM
      #35
    Trained
    Marriage is a great thing (been married 34 years), but at your age keep in mind how much stress (yes, it can be stressful) you want to take on. Looking back, the biggest life events causing stress are 1) Getting married 2) buying a house 3) having children, and 4) changing jobs. The more you pile on yourself too soon, the less happy (and healthy) you'll be.
         
        04-28-2013, 09:05 AM
      #36
    Showing
    I don't think these people are well meaning, it's a power trip to make the person feel like a social pariah. These are the same people who can't wait to tell you horror stories about your impending surgery. Not that it happened to them, but to a friend who knew someone.
         
        04-28-2013, 10:07 AM
      #37
    Green Broke
    God, I'm 27 this year and my family still havent started dropping hints! Infact i'm fairly sure my mum would prefer if I never married.
    My boyfriends family on the other hand have an interesting way of dropping hints, the most recent one is every time I walk through the door I get handed a baby to hold (his sister has 5 children under the age of 7, 3 of whom are under the age of 3!) and told I'd make a great mum, or that I'm wonderful with children or that I look good holding a baby. My reply every time has been "I only like them if I can hand them back when they start screaming!"

    We went to a Ball recently and it was mostly my Boyfriends friends (his hobby/club held a Ball So I went too) the hints about marriage or the outright questions about when are we getting married, has he proposed yet, or comments flung out way about "its going to be a great wedding!" were somewhat off putting.
    I intend to drag my BF to the CHAPS winter ball (coloured horse and pony society) this year and I can garentee non of my friends would dream of dropping anyform of hint!

    You take all the time in the world to decide if marriage is right for you and don't let anyone pressure you into doing it.
    Skyseternalangel likes this.
         

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