Miscarriage. I'm crushed. - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

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post #11 of 30 Old 07-30-2012, 11:17 PM
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My wife had 3 miscarriages before we finally had out daughter. We were almost to the point of giving up because we didn't want to go through that again. I will say it is hard on the guy as well. I had a very hard time dealing with it the way my wife wanted to deal with it. She wanted to curl up and cry and be held type of stuff. If I am hurting I tend to pull away and shut down. That did cause some tension between us. What I am saying is it is tough for everyone involved and you both need to be there for each other.

I am sorry and remember for some reason it just wasn't the right time. It will be though and when it does happen it will be great.
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post #12 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 12:16 AM
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I have lost two. There are no words really to help but as always I have a story that may help.
When I had my 2nd miscarriage Sarah was 5 I was very sick, on hormones and had to spend 2 nights in the hospital. When I told my sweet Sarah she said the sagest thing "mommy, her tiny voice said....our baby was sick and went so that God could make her better. When our baby is better God will send her back to us. ". He did, and the child God sent us is now 8 and sleeping next to me. My heart is with you.
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post #13 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 12:52 AM
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I had a miscarriage in 1989 when I was 12 weeks along with our third child. I had been very sick the entire time. Turns out I had been exposed to 5th Disease which is a measles type illness. In kids it just causes a little fever and slapped cheek look. In adults barely anything. Pregnant women will miscarry. I was devastated.

It is hard to go through but I claimed Jesus's promises. I know that this baby will be restored to me in heaven. I have never forgot this child. It should have been born October 22 of that year. I later had another child and we were thrilled.

I cried, I felt sorrow and disappointment. I asked the Lord to send another child and He did. I am so sorry you are going through this - and there is no right way or wrong way to mourn. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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post #14 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 06:46 PM
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I am sorry for your loss. I do understand the pain and disappointment you are feeling as I had a miscarriage the first time around as well. As others have said, this often just happens for reasons unknown and is unavoidable. There is no right or wrong way to feel or grieve, only to take care of yourself and let your loved ones love you. You will never 'forget' but time will help heal your sadness.
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post #15 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 07:03 PM
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I was so very lucky with carrying my own babies, but shared a loss earlier on in the year when my son and his wife lost their first baby, my first grandchild.

They coped in different ways, to my son the baby had never seemed that real, so he was sad but not totally knocked off of course. His wife felt it a lot deeper, the baby was already real to her, in a way that I think a man struggles to understand. She took time out to grieve for the little one, and to accept that he was a real person, but had passed, so it was OK to grieve, but then to start looking forward again.

I think that is important, you must grieve the loss, it only right and natural, but then come through that stage and be ready to walk forward again. Some babies are just to special to be born, and they get taken home before you get to love them to much.
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post #16 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 07:58 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you everyone, we took the night to cry over it, talked about it, I am still not okay with it, but nothing I can change. I keep thinking maybe the doctor was wrong, maybe he's still in there. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. It's just sad that something WAS in there, and now is gone. But we can always try again.
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post #17 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 08:16 PM
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(((HUGS)))

You will never be "ok" with it, but I promise it will get better. Take it one day at a time and you will be in my prayers.
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post #18 of 30 Old 07-31-2012, 08:51 PM
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Hugs to you. I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy, and again after my daughter was born. Its sad, but what helped me get through it was I was told that that baby wasn't meant to be born, and I truly believe it. I've lost two, but I also have a wonderful daughter. Your time will come.
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post #19 of 30 Old 08-01-2012, 02:21 AM
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I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
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post #20 of 30 Old 08-01-2012, 02:30 AM
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(((ALL THE HUGS)))

My thoughts are with you.

I spontaneously aborted just after testing early last year and it threw my emotions and hormones out so bad, even though I hadn't really had time to adjust to the "baby" idea, and I remember my mother losing her fifth at the end of first trimester - she's a very strong woman and it was only the second time I'd seen her cry in 17 years.

I hope you can make peace with your emotions and the very best of luck in future efforts. (((EVEN MORE HUGS)))
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