04-05-2012, 08:51 AM
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For the moms out there
Read this on fb this morning and thought it was fantastic!
A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel... She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?.. ''Yes," was his incredulous reply.. She answered,. 'Well, today I didn't do it. :)
04-05-2012, 08:54 AM
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LOL - so true.
04-05-2012, 09:05 AM
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HAHAHAHA that is just great!
04-05-2012, 09:15 AM
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Loved it, thanks for sharing!!
04-05-2012, 09:27 AM
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Hahaha!! Awesome! I work full time and still do alot of that, though hubby knows to help out too. It's pretty even but there are time that he may step over the line of sarcasm, and this has played through my mind plenty of times!
04-05-2012, 10:37 AM
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THIS was PERFECT for this morning!
As my hub was lounging in bed, I was getting the kid off to school.
Had to drive them 30 miles both ways, stop in at the feed store, the grocery store,
And get gas. Then when I got home he needed my help with some stuff,
Hollered "WHAT are you DOING?" Well, I was unloading the car, feeding
The dogs, watering/feeding the chickens, feeding the horses, started the laundry...
So I hollered back...
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!???"
Thank heavens he finally left for work, think I'm going to just read a book today!
04-05-2012, 10:53 AM
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I hear ya Fly. I've been getting my barn work done before the sun comes up, so today I think I might do the same. Maybe go fishing or tromp through the woods and find some morels, all by myself...ahhh.
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04-05-2012, 11:21 AM
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Yummmmm! I'll wander a bit and we can compare harvests! LOL!
Just got done "playing" with the horses, cooled me off quite a bit.
04-05-2012, 09:50 PM
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LOL!!! Thanks for sharing. Here's one I like - called letters from mom…hope you like it as much as I did…
Letter found taped to the bathroom door;
Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply
Taking a bath. It will take about 30 minutes and will involve
Soap and water. Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn't,
Forcing myself to drown in a half-inch of lukewarm water is more
Work than I've got energy for. (Which reminds me, I'm all for
Science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh
Floats, use cold water.) Don't panic if I'm not out right on
Time. I've heard that people don't dissolve in water and I'd like
To test the theory. While I'm in the tub, I'd like you to
Remember a few things: The large slab of wood between us is
Called a door. Do not bang on it to hear my voice. I promise that
Even though you can't see me, I am on the other side. I'm not
Digging an escape tunnel and running for the border, no matter
What I said a while ago, I didn't mean it. Honest. There will be
Plenty of time later to tell me about your day. Later means at a
Time when I am no longer naked and wet and contemplating bubble
Gum in the blow dryer. I know you have important things to tell
Me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to
Blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair. Believe it
Or not, shouting, "TELEPHONE!" through the closed bathroom door
Will not make the phone stop ringing. Answer it and take a
Message. Since Amazing Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you'll
Need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil. Do not
Use your brother and the laundry marker. We can't send him to
School with telephone-number tattoos. Water makes me wet, not
Deaf. I can still tell the difference between the sound of
"nothing" and the sound of a child playing the piano with a
Basketball. I can also hear you tattling at the top of your
Lungs. I'm choosing not to answer you. Don't call your dad at
Work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom. He didn't
Appreciate it last time. He won't appreciate it this time. Trust
Me. No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me
Forgetful. I remember who you are and why you are grounded. No,
You can't go to Shelby's house to play. No, you can't go to
Shelby's house to use the bathroom. If someone is in our other
Bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait.
Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going
Outside to "water" the lawn. I know the dog does it. The
Neighbors don't feel the need to call me when the dog does it.
Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors
Locked. Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window
To get my attention. I know it works in the movies. This is
Reality, the place where people don't like to sit in a tub while
Rocks and broken glass rain in on them. Do not set the house on
Fire. Call me if there is an emergency.
1. Dad has fallen off the roof.
2. Your brother and/or sister is bleeding.
3. There's a red fire truck in front of our house.
Emergencies are not:
1. Dad has fallen asleep.
2. Someone on TV is bleeding.
3. There's a red pickup truck in front of our house.
One other thing: Being forced to use the last roll of toilet
Paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with
Little white polka dots. In the future, when the tub overflows,
Use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the
House. For my sanity's sake, let's pretend it was the tub, O.K.?
No, I don't want to hear the real story. Ever. Especially not
While I'm standing in the pool of water you missed. (P.S. All
Play-Doh experiments are canceled.) Be good. Entertain
Yourselves. Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring,
Playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee
Table. I'll be out soon. Maybe.
04-05-2012, 10:49 PM
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I love it. I always get - I tried calling you, what have you been doing!!! Oh nothing much.