Motorcycle crash renders me unsupportive - The Horse Forum
 46Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 01:09 AM Thread Starter
Yearling
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,394
• Horses: 1
Motorcycle crash renders me unsupportive

My boyfriend literally woke up one morning and decided he wanted to get a motorcycle. I have always been supportive of his choices, however; this choice seemed so painfully random, and unlike him. After all the gear and the purchase of the bike, he was nearly $5000 in, so I just kept my mouth shut about it.

On the occasion we would speak a bit about the dangers involved in motorcycle riding, which usually ended in him going on about the dangers of horseback riding. I can't say much... when I was eventing, I had a rotational fall that left me in a coma. So I clearly understand the dangers of riding and jumping horses. But I feel like it's not the same. I've been riding since I was 5. It's part of me. It's who I am. It's not just a fad, or an idea. It's a lifestyle choice that I had made long before the boyfriend!

Anyway, so today he decides he wants to go out with a huge group of people from an internet forum, to ride a canyon that goes through Malibu. Long story short, he ended up losing control of the bike and laying it down. He's alright. Minus a large amount of road rash, a ruined pair of $400 motorcycle boots, a cracked $500 helmet, and a completely wrecked 2012 Ninja.

I have told him that this is it. He needs to get the money from the insurance and be done with it. He says i'm not being supportive. And I agree. I'm not. But come on! He's only had the **** bike for 5 months and he totals it!!! I'm angry and bitter about it. So what do ya'll think.... how would you feel?
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 17.jpg (89.5 KB, 133 views)

Life seems mighty precious, when there's less of it to waste.
Oxer is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 01:21 AM
Started
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,431
• Horses: 1
I feel like if he's supporting you in the VERY dangerous sport of horse back riding... you should support him. Maybe it's not 'just a fad' and just because he hasn't been riding since he was he was five (yeah, pretty sure there are laws preventing that...) doesn't mean it isn't as much a part of him as riding is a part of you. Maybe it's something he's secretly wanted to do for a long time?

I, personally, think you're being hypocritical. I don't like motorcycles either, but you have to put it into perspective...

Did he demand you sell your horse when you fell? Does he demand you sell your horse every time you fall and have a minor injury (or no injury)? Do you oblige him?

If not, then you have no place to tell him to do the same.
alexischristina is offline  
post #3 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 01:26 AM Thread Starter
Yearling
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,394
• Horses: 1
yes, you're right about a lot. However, the difference is that when i'm thrown, it tends not to cost anything. I'm sore for a couple days, and that's it. The price that he pays with every fall off that bike is incredibly monetary, as well as the very high chance of paying the ultimate price with his life. It's really tough to just be "okay" with it.

Life seems mighty precious, when there's less of it to waste.
Oxer is offline  
post #4 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 01:32 AM
Started
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,431
• Horses: 1
And while that IS true, I'm sure you're spending LOTS of money on your hobby as well. And while it may not seem as likely to you, a fall very well COULD cost you your life. And I feel like, as riders, we're more prone to falling (horses spook, bolt, refuse) than someone riding a bike. I know it's hard to see this accident and NOT think it's going to happen every other day, but chances are it ISN'T, and you're doing damage to yourself (mentally, emotionally) and your relationship by worrying.
BCtazzie likes this.
alexischristina is offline  
post #5 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 02:21 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 411
• Horses: 4
I have a similar situation. However, I trust that he is safe on the road and always wears his gear. I do worry about the other *******s on the road, but such is life. I personally don't ride, bikes scare the hell out of me. I'm not about to suggest that he give up the bikes just because its not my cup of tea.

Life isnt safe. You can die at any moment, from anything. Might as well enjoy life and do what you love.

And unless you are paying for his hobby then its really not your concern what he does with his money.
Duren is offline  
post #6 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 05:29 AM
Foal
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 133
• Horses: 0
If you think about it...hes only $5000 in and he'll be getting money from insurance for the wrecked bike. How much are you(and your parents!) in on your horse since you were five? I think since he's being supportive of you in a risky sport it, you should be supportive of him in his hobby as well. Its his life, his money. I say be thankful he wasnt seriously hurt in the accident :)
Posted via Mobile Device
MN Tigerstripes and HowClever like this.
jinx1990 is offline  
post #7 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 07:00 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Soon to be South Carolina
Posts: 882
• Horses: 0
I do agree with the others in that while you may not like his choice, being supportive of him in his hobby of choice will allow for less conflict and a better bond between the two of you.

If he is supportive of your habit, gots gives you a sense of comfort, yes? Kind of like 'Hey, he knows how much this means to me and cares enough to support me whether or not it be the safest hobby.'

Imagine him thinking the same thing. He'll look to you for support and trust that you'll be there to do so.

I understand the dangers of motorcycles. I've been injured many a time, but it was something I liked doing so I kept on doing it! Not many of my friends or family were supportive, but the few that were, I valued their opinions far more and looked to them before anyone else.

I'm certain the two of you aren't lacking in trust, but this is just another thing that will add to that and make you two stronger.
Posted via Mobile Device
BarrelWannabe is offline  
post #8 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 07:51 AM
Showing
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Just south of sanity
Posts: 16,165
• Horses: 3
You're not being rational. Riding horses is MORE dangerous than riding motorcycles, and you've already been seriously injured.

If this is his passion, you're honor bound to support him. If you don't, then you're the worst type of hypocrite.

At least his bike has some monetary value and can be replaced easily enough. You can't say the same about horses. Plus, except for regular maintenance costs, his iron horse is much less expensive overall than your flesh and blood one.

You don't have the right to dictate his life. As long as HE understands the risks and are fine with them, you need to smile and deal with his hobby. If you don't, some other girl will.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!

Last edited by Speed Racer; 02-24-2013 at 07:53 AM.
Speed Racer is offline  
post #9 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 07:55 AM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 2,655
• Horses: 10
His crash costs money so he has to get rid of the bike? How much do you outlay on your horse on a weekly basis. My bet is more than he has outlaid on the bike.

I think you are being a hypocrite. You have an expensive, dangerous hobby. You can't dictate what he chooses to have as a hobby.

Flirt-Hugo-Phoenix-Romance-Fanta-Nippa-Shiloh
Trojan 09.11.02 - 26.10.10 // Kody 01.09.89-25.06.12 // Rex 05.11.95-21.12.12
HowClever is offline  
post #10 of 33 Old 02-24-2013, 08:21 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Branson
Posts: 4,264
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by HowClever View Post
I think you are being a hypocrite. You have an expensive, dangerous hobby. You can't dictate what he chooses to have as a hobby.
I agree 100%...
MN Tigerstripes and DimSum like this.
Faceman is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Unsupportive parents. QHriderKE Horse Talk 41 07-17-2012 12:00 AM
motorcycle license PechosGoldenChance Cars and Trucks 10 05-07-2010 04:17 PM
unsupportive parents? sweetbelle Horse Talk 6 03-14-2010 10:03 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome