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Motorcycle crash renders me unsupportive

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        02-24-2013, 12:30 PM
    Banned the Face household we don't tell each other what we can or can't do...except for that threesome with Johnny Depp that Mrs. Face keeps talking about - that ain't going to happen. Anna Faris maybe, but not Johnny Depp...
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        02-24-2013, 12:38 PM
    Lol! It's not that I'm telling him he 'can't', he just understands that he would have a severely unhappy wife, which usually results in a severely unhappy husband. He doesn't care much for the horses, but also hasn't outright forbidden them - he's just let it be known that if they were to be sold, he would probably celebrate.
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        02-24-2013, 12:39 PM
    Green Broke
    Whenever my Hubby decides to do something dangerous, like hand gliding or not going to the doctor, I always tell him that my second husband and I will enjoy spending his money.

    He has never hand glided, he just mentioned it once.

    I would totally freak out if my husband got a motorcycle, I am sure I couldn't do a thing about it though.
        02-24-2013, 12:39 PM
    I agree with SR. If you're not supportive of his new hobby, some other girl will be. I also agree with Darrin that this wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision. He's probably thought a lot about it, but knowing how you'd react, he made the decision on his own.

    My ex-husband rode a motorcycle when I met him. He had a 1996 Ninja ZX-6R. He bought it new and, while I knew that he knew how to ride, I still worried. As has been said, I didn't worry so much about him as I did about all the other idiots out on the road. However, it was his passion and he loved that bike, so I was supportive...even when he desperately wanted to upgrade from him little 6R to a Suzuki Hayabusa (1300cc crotch rocket...the fastest bike in production, at least at the time).

    I think you're totally being hypocritically. It honestly doesn't sound like you're concerned about his safety. It sound like you only care about the money he's spending. Even with the payments he's making, and insurance and maintenance costs, he's spending FAR less per month than you are on your horse.
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    MN Tigerstripes likes this.
        02-24-2013, 01:05 PM
    I couldn't imagine having the nuts to tell my boyfriend that he had to sell his bike or wasn't allowed to ride motorcycles. He's a grown man and you aren't his mother, you're his girlfriend. Either support him in exploring this passion or decide that it's something you cannot deal with and end the relationship. Horses are a very dangerous hobby and much more expensive than motorcycles, so in my opinion you are being very hypocritical.

    I dated a guy who thought it was ridiculous and dangerous that I rode horses (funnily enough he was a motorcycle rider that did high speed stunts on his bike), he didn't like it, but beyond a little ribbing he kept his mouth shut because he knew that it was my life and decision. Our relationship would've ended a lot sooner if he would've tried telling me what to do about my horses and my hobby.
        02-24-2013, 01:21 PM
    The ninja is a 250cc bike. Nothing big. As a matter of fact, I LOVE bikes. I grew up with a father that rode sport bikes. Nothing smaller than a 1000 cc bike was parked in our driveway. So I was raised around a man that was confident and safe with his bike. My boyfriend on the other hand, was scared. Right out of the gate. He was terrified of riding and terrified of falling. So that really made me nervous. I know those of you know what i'm talking about... those people you meet that maybe love horses and want to ride, but are so terrified they can barely function. It makes you nervous. Makes you worry that their lack of confidence will end in a mess. Which it normally does. The same can be said in this instance. He went out with a bunch of confident veteran riders, and ended up being the squid and trashing his bike.

    You're all very right. I'm not his mother. I'm not his wife. I can't tell him what he can and cannot do. I just wish he was more confident and comfortable with his "passion" so that I could feel like he was going to always chose to do what is the most right and the most safe.... not just for him, but for other people on the road as well.
        02-24-2013, 02:13 PM
    I find it odd that you say he is terrified & lacks confidence....generally I have found that overconfidence coupled with inexperience is at the root of most wrecks (equine and motorcycle). The answer is education and PRACTICE. I've been riding a year (800cc Suzuki) and have yet to lay it down. I WAS terrified...I spent weeks just riding around the block, learning my bike. I still recommend a riding course.
        02-24-2013, 08:00 PM
    Can you get hin interested in golf? Most of the "equal money for hobby" couples I know are horse/golf related. That's a bummer he went with bike. That's a tough fence to ride. You sort of have to be mutually supportive since your hobby is dangerous too, but I can see where you're coming from.
    Oxer likes this.
        02-24-2013, 08:18 PM
    Green Broke
    My hubby and I are a horse- golf couple.
        02-24-2013, 08:39 PM
    My husband has always had his motorcycle liscence, always rode dirtbikes on the trails, rarely streetbikes. After the kids were no longer little, he acquired streetbikes, expensive ones, but he works hard for his money so he is entitled to spend his disposable income on what he chooses. He did have a few rules, just as I did when I trained horses (no rearers, no crazies), his was no riding after dark.
    He was coming home at dusk, hit a deer on the highway just outside of town on the highway, he was passing a semi, he figures he was going 75 to 80 MPH. I just got inside from riding, it's dark, the phone rings, it's my daughter freaking out, she is on her way to get me, Dad's had an accident, he is in the hospital. My world freakin' ended! When we got to emergency, my son was there who also rides motorcycles, so the whole family was there, their spouses as well, we all made a promise if Dad is ok, no more motorcycles. Turns out, he just had some road rash, totalled the bike, decapitated the deer.
    The no more motorcycle promise could not be kept, they love to ride, gives them a feeling of freedom and an edge. Exactly as I feel when riding horses, I have heard the saying "If you don't live on the edge, you are taking up too much space."
    Horses are dangerous & expensive, motorcycles are dangerous & expensive, both are fun as hell. Do the things that make you feel alive, take all precautions, but you have to enjoy yourself.
    Support your partners passions, do you want him miserable, but safe? Won't be a happy life. Pics of Daddy-O's wrecked bike and the decaptitated deer.

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    Bellasmom likes this.

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