I have long hair about down to my hip bones. I have tried different conditioners over the last 20 yrs and I LOVE Redken All Soft. You'll have to go to salon to get it and it runs about $25 for a liter. It lasts quite awhile, well worth the money. I too have dry flaky scalp, like Out of the Loop, TGel doesn't work for me but Head And Shoulders with Eucalyptus Oil works wonders.
When I wash my hair I just wash the scalp and let the suds run down to the ends. Then I condition and leave in my hair for about 5 minutes before rinsing out.
Regular trimming is important too, it keeps your ends clean and less likely to get tangles. I keep my hair loosely braided at night so I don't make a rats nest of it while I sleep. During the day depending on what I am doing, I either keep it braided or up in clips on my head. I don't even brush it everyday! You might want to invest in a good brush, I prefer the boar bristle cushioned paddle brushes.
I DON'T LEAD 'EM AND FEED 'EM, I RIDE 'EM AND SLIDE 'EM.