I can relate to your situation when I was 9 my mom had breast cancer they got rid of it all, no problem. She bought a wig when her hair fell out and named it Wilma......my family is strange. Then a couple years ago she collapses out of nowhere, ambulance comes and takes her to the hospital and my dad goes with her leaving my sister and I with our neighbors. I kept calm the entire time with my sister freaking out and the second the ambulance left BOOM I freak out I try to call my youth leader, I couldn't even talk to tell her why I was hysterical, my neighbor had to she prayed with me over the phone and I felt better. After I was done crying my neighbor asks if he have sprinkles....ummm "I don't know" so she rifles through the cupboard and finds some and proceeds to make me a butter and sprinkle sandwich...surprisingly good.
Prayers coming at you.
Equestrianism; 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and 100% reason to remember you're absolutely insane to be riding a beast that big.