Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
I know it feels like your parents are working against you. That they deliberately want to stop you doing things for control or power. I went through years of despising my parents, wondering why they wanted to make my life hell. I thought they blamed me for costing them money, or taking their youth, or they were just dissapointed how I turned out. They didn't understand me and I didn't think they wanted to. It's often not the case even though it feels that way.
These concerns, like managing your own mental health, coping with stress and eating. Well they may seem like none of your parents business because it's about you, and no one else but them comments on it. But that is what family is. Even though their opinions and judgements may be blunt or harsh or simply just said the wrong way, it is because they care for you, and have a responsibility for you for your entire life. Just as you do them.
If you have real concerns then address them. Don't cry, or react but make a list of what they are. If you are actually sick from certain foods then try and organise an appointment with someone to see if you can work out if you have allergies. I'm betting if you go to your mother after not eating and crying, saying you feel sick and have a headache (both can be symptoms of stress and hunger) then she's not going to be overly impressed, especially if this happens often.
If you want to be treated like an adult to make your own choices then you have to act like one. You have to realise that you are in control of your emotions, they don't control you. If that means you have to learn new ways to deal with stress, failure or disappointment, then take that on as your responsibility. If you're feeling sick find out why. Are you eating well? If it's making you sick why? Perhaps you don't like the foods your family eats and you can organise to write your own shopping list and prepare your own meals.
From your mother's point of view the behaviours you are exhibiting at home are probably, in her opinion, indicators that you are not able to behave appropriately or responsibly outside of the home. Start acting responsibly all the time, and then her opinion of you will likely change.