Ugh, I guess I just need somewhere to vent right now. This might be long, but it's much needed. I will try to provide as much back story as I can so if anyone does decide to actually read this, wont be so lost. Starting in 2009 and up until about two years ago my life was in the gutter and I was headed towards total destruction. I was an out of control, drug addict, alcoholic, with many many psychological issues. I was suicidal and basically successfully killed myself two times. It was in the midst of all of this that I met my current boyfriend. We met in a suicide chat room back in 2009 and I was engaged at the time. He lived in California and I in Florida. Long story short, I moved to CA to live with him two years ago. We have so much in common and we understand each other mentally; for the most part. I moved seeing this as a chance to start my life over, quit drinking, quit drugging, and getting the proper help and medications I need to control my psychological problems. I kinda went "balls to the wall" with it and am back in school, getting fit (lost 40 lbs so far), I'm clean and sober, I work hard to make ends meet etc...my boyfriend on the other hand does not have the kind of motivation I now have, to live a better, healthier life. He is overweight and has health problems because of it. He says he doesn't have the will power to start eating right. Now this upsets me because it makes me feel like I'm not enough of a reason to want to get healthy. He is what motivated me to become who I am today. He said it's so easy for me to change things. What he doesn't understand is that it's not. I feel like I'm the one putting in all the effort and feel that he is dragging me down now. I don't want to leave him because I owe my life to him, I love him, and I am happy with him. I'm afraid this is all going to go south because it seems we are going in different directions now. How can I motivate him to want to get healthy? I just don't know.