Online dating - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 31 Old 11-06-2013, 05:39 PM Thread Starter
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Online dating

Has anyone tried it? What was the outcome? What site did you use?

I've joined an online dating site and so far I've not been thrilled. There is one guy I've been texting with. He likes animals and works as a Kennel tech but has no degree and is 27 yrs old. While he seems nice, I think education is important and so is financial stability. He wants to meet up sometime, but I'm really not sure he is someone I would want to date. Friends maybe.

My cousin met someone through an online site and they seem very happy together but it is still early in the relationship. My best friend met someone online and they are now engaged.

Honestly I have a lot of doubts about online dating. Most guys put very little on their online profiles, and if you email/chat with them how do you even know who you are talking too?

Maybe I need to try a different website or let it go. While I like the idea of finding someone and dating, sometimes I think I'm better off single.

My last relationship (4 years ago) was a disaster. The guy had a personality disorder and was really unstable. I met him at my university, and I had no idea what I was getting into. He seemed charming, respectful, and nice but it was all an act. Extremely manipulative, but I didn't realize that til later on. Really he reminds me of Star Wars where Anakin turns into Darth Vader. That is the only way I can describe his personality. I tried to warn the girl he started dating next- she didn't believe me.

That relationship put me off dating for the last 4 years, but I don't want to live the rest of my life alone either! Unfortunately most guys I meet in my daily life are not my type or are much older than me. I spend so much time with the horses, I'm not out socializing that much either. The guys that ride around here are either really rough types, much older or married.
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post #2 of 31 Old 11-06-2013, 05:44 PM
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I met my husband on match.com. It clearly worked for us. There are other sites where you have less control (the computer picks the person for you) - we both tried those sites and didn't like it.

A word of caution though - be careful when you go on dates. Always meet in a neutral place (restaurant, mall etc). Never meet at your home because if it's some crazy stalker or serial killer you don't want them to know where you live.

Always tell a trusted friend or relative when you are going on a date and what time you will be back. I would always call my friend before and after my dates. If I hadn't called her after a date, she would have called the police.

I met some pretty weird guys on match, so you definetly have to weed out the weirdo's to find a regular person.
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post #3 of 31 Old 11-06-2013, 05:52 PM
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I met my ex-husband on Yahoo! Personals (this was before the dating site craze). I also met a lot of creeps. One guy tried to rape me, another was just plain weird (but loaded with money), yet another freaked out on me completely because I suggested we remain friends. After my divorce, I tried the dating site thing at the behest of my family. One of the guys I met was awesome...until I wouldn't sleep with him. Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. Another guy wanted to be friends-with-benefits, which at that point was fine with me...until he was talking about setting up a time to meet me after the first couple of liaisons and then said "Hold on a sec. My girlfriend wants me to get her something to drink."

I don't blame the dating sites themselves for my bad experiences, but they just left a bad taste in my mouth.
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post #4 of 31 Old 11-06-2013, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
I met my ex-husband on Yahoo! Personals (this was before the dating site craze). I also met a lot of creeps. One guy tried to rape me, another was just plain weird (but loaded with money), yet another freaked out on me completely because I suggested we remain friends. After my divorce, I tried the dating site thing at the behest of my family. One of the guys I met was awesome...until I wouldn't sleep with him. Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. Another guy wanted to be friends-with-benefits, which at that point was fine with me...until he was talking about setting up a time to meet me after the first couple of liaisons and then said "Hold on a sec. My girlfriend wants me to get her something to drink."

I don't blame the dating sites themselves for my bad experiences, but they just left a bad taste in my mouth.
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You have to be willing to weed out the crazies. Sometimes it's not worth it. I'm not sure that I would ever try a dating website again if I was single.
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post #5 of 31 Old 11-06-2013, 06:15 PM
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I met me girlfriend on okcupid.com. We have happily been together for almost two years. All my friends and family say things like "Don't mess this up, this is the best girl you will ever find!", pretty much implying she is the one for me. I definetly feel it too. I've imagined my life with other people I've dated, the difference with her is that I cannot imagine my life without her!

Funny story, my friend on the rugby team actually worked with her and was going to set us up together. Well, she didn't. She didn't think we would work out together for one reason or another. I find it VERY ironic that we met anyway. If that's not fate idk what is. What were the odd of me finding her out of ALL the people on Long Island??

Just be VERY careful! We met at a restaurant, movies, bars, etc for the first few dates. It was two months before we hung out at her house and 4 months before we started "dating". You really don't know who is on the other side of the computer screen.

As for him or anyone you, don't lower your standards!
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post #6 of 31 Old 11-07-2013, 06:27 AM
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Slidestop - if you play Rugby then you have gone up in my book!
A descent hard game without all the weight of padding!

What I would class as a man's game.

I have four friends who met on line, none in dating sites but on open forums. One pair, older than most, have been together for over 16 years.
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post #7 of 31 Old 11-07-2013, 06:42 AM
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I met my husband on an online video game, not a dating site, but still online.
Just be careful, as the others said. Never know what could happen though, may be worth if if you're willing to possible weed out some crazies :)

-Paula

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post #8 of 31 Old 11-07-2013, 07:51 AM
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I joined a site called adoptaguy.de
Rather amusing.
Make up a profile, then you 'shop' for the guys in your area by age and height, weight etc etc.
They can't talk to you unless you invite them too, or add them to your shopping basket.
I spoke to a few, then started on whatsapp.. then stopped when I started getting naughty pictures aha.
I was on another, but I got a lot of 'Are you looking for a date or one night stands?' Must have been my picture o.o

I know a few people who have been very happy with the people they have met. You have got some great advice, and instead of thinking.. take the bull by the horns and try it.

We all have bad experiences in life, but you have to decide whether they hold you back, or make you stronger and able to make better decisions for the future.

Never count out the nice guy ;)
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post #9 of 31 Old 11-07-2013, 08:49 AM
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I also met my husband in an online game. We spoke online for about six months then went to the phone to visits to me moving.

Meeting someone to date is not easy. You will find a lot of people you will pass on. That will happen online or offline. Online you can just churn through people faster so it can seem worse.
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post #10 of 31 Old 11-07-2013, 11:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxhunter View Post
Slidestop - if you play Rugby then you have gone up in my book!
A descent hard game without all the weight of padding!

What I would class as a man's game.

I have four friends who met on line, none in dating sites but on open forums. One pair, older than most, have been together for over 16 years.
Was I ever down in the book? LOVE rugby!! I played for two years for my school. Unfortunately plantars fasciitis in my left foot has sidelined me :( . I REALLY wish it would catch on here! I'm not a sports fan, but I'd totally get into rugby. No pads, huge field, 80 min play time... A sport for REAL tough people!
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