parents who wouldn't buy u a horse even if they could - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 12:44 PM Thread Starter
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parents who wouldn't buy u a horse even if they could

I am just curious to know if anyone has a parent who wouldn't buy them a horse, even if they had the means. I do.

My dad has mentioned a few times to me that if he had the money, he wouldn't buy me a horse, as he considers owning a horse a waste of time and money and just too much trouble. Lots of time and money, true... waste of time... nu-uh, but I guess he just doesn't see the good parts of it. And he thinks it would overly distract me from life (hence studies). Which isn't totally true, nor false.

I suppose if he did win the lottery and I showed myself extremely responsible (which I am and he technically knows this already), and kept my grades up, he'd probably pay for my lessons... and even maybe, pay for a lease in the summer... but never buy me a horse.

I guess the fact that he still expects me to give up riding and move on with my life plays a part in this too. No one in my family has done what I have done, and he tells me to eventually forget about horses, but how can one forget one's own self?

SO anyone else have a parent that thinks horses are great, but not worth it and just a temporary pleasure?

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post #2 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:07 PM
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my parents used to be like this. but then they came around to the idea if i prove responsible enough and can take care of other animals then give it a shot. they gave me strict guidelines and if i slipped once the horse would be sold. on top of that i was going threw a move to different town and instead of going to therapy (since my folks think that is a bigger waste then horses ) that they would buy me my first horse and it truly was the best therapy i could of had for that time in my life. plus the horse was older and could not be ridden. :/

its not that parents dont care for your interests if they are like mine they just want you to earn and work hard for what you want. when it came to getting the horse i really wanted i had to buy it and pay for everything and they told me straight out if she would have been my first horse they would never have gotten her for me because it was something i truly wanted because it was calling me. they said something so desirable should be earned from hard work. :)
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post #3 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:13 PM
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At least your parents are paying for you to be around and ride horses; mine couldn't even do that. I had to wait until I could afford it on my own.

Your parents don't owe you a horse. Horses are your passion, not theirs. There's no reason in the world for them to spend money on something which they consider an expensive waste of time.

If you're a true horse person you'll never lose the passion, and eventually you'll be able to make it happen on your own. That's what I did, and it certainly didn't kill me to defer my dream until I could afford it myself.

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post #4 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:26 PM
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I begged bribed and blackmailed (kinda hehe) for 10 years to let me have a horse. It was only when my neighbours horses needed careing for and I absoloutly fell in love with Alli that my parents finally agreed to letting me take out a long term loan contract.

I was fortunate enough to have lessons once a week payed for by my mum at 16 an hour, and my mum realised I would be spending about 20 a week on an actuall horse of my own, and I could spend hours and hours riding it and careing for it every week.

I also got a summer job to help pay for feed etc and did lots of things to prove my responsibility. Dedication was a big thing for mum and dad. They were convinced I was going to quit and 'grow out of it' and focus on studies to get a well paying job. That was until I flipped at them saying I didn't give a **** if being a doctor/dentist payed loads, I wanted to be around horses for my entire life because they are my entire life!

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post #5 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:28 PM
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I hate to say it, but I agree with Speed. You don't sound whiny in your post, which is good, but what SR said is exactly it- your parents don't owe you a horse. They can spend the money they make on whatever they like, and if they don't want to spend it on an animal that only one person in the family is going to enjoy and is going to cost them a LOT of money over a LONG period of time, that's their decision. It sucks that your parents don't support your horse hobby, but unfortunately, sometimes that's just the way it is. If you're really passionate about it, you'll be able to make it work.
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post #6 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:35 PM
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Here's the thing about kids....

I work my buns off to get a degree, and before that I worked my buns off....to have the money to make sure that my daughter/kids have the things that I did NOT have as a kid...this includes all the necessities plus a few amenities, like violin lessons and martial arts training. ($$$)

The thing about that is, you know how hard you worked to provide those things, right? And you see how long your kids have interest in those things which cost you quite a bit...and therein is part of the problem, but not all...if you were to lose interest in a horse, or CARING for the horse...as a minor, that responsibility falls back ON YOUR PARENTS. Well geez...what if they don't want that responsibility?

So: an expense that someone may lose interest in
an expense whose actual CARE may fall back on the parent...one that they have no interest in
an expense to which they ultimately will be responsible for, not the minor, in any legal or medical issues

I see a lot of irresponsibility with the *cough* young ADULTS that I go to school with... and I know exactly how not responsible my own kid is. I can understand where the parents might not want to buy a horse...at least you can break a lease. xD

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post #7 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:41 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:

Its not that parents dont care for your interests if they are like mine they just want you to earn and work hard for what you want. When it came to getting the horse I really wanted I had to buy it and pay for everything and they told me straight out if she would have been my first horse they would never have gotten her for me because it was something I truly wanted because it was calling me. They said something so desirable should be earned from hard work. :)
I completely agree about working hard for something you really want. I am happy I pay for everything myself, as it has pushed me to do things I would never have done if my life was easy and I got everything payed. However, my dad doesn't really see it that way. For a long time my parents were against me working 3 hours a week at the library and then 2 hours every second or third week for my neighbor (I file and help him with his computer and stuff), they were even frustrated that I was doing all this because of "the horse". It took them 3 years of fighting with me to see that working wouldn't alter my grades. They were of course just worried about me, scared I'd be over worked and burn out.

Quote:
At least your parents are paying for you to be around and ride horses; mine couldn't even do that. I had to wait until I could afford it on my own.
That is very true. I am very grateful my dad actually willingly drives me to my lessons and doesn't actually really complain or stop me from going to my lessons.

I am not saying my parents owe me a horse, if not I owe them everythign for giving me a private education and sacrifying so much for me (and giving me life), but i was just curious to know if there were other parents who still wouldn't buy them a horse (for whatever reason) even if they had money coming out of their bums.

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post #8 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 01:50 PM
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I didn't mean to imply you sounded ungrateful or whiny, because you don't. Just tried to give you some justification for why your folks feel the way they do.

My parents have never understood the horse thing, and for many years thought it was just a phase. 33 years after buying my first horse, I'm pretty sure it's not just a phase!

They never did 'get it', and even all these years later my mother will still ask me, 'So, when are you going to get tired of those horses and start living a normal life?' Um, when they pry the reins out of my cold, dead hands?

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post #9 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 02:06 PM
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I read in the first post that Hidalgo pays for her own lesson, not paid for by dad.

Anyway, I get that frustration. I mean the part about the family not having a clue how big a part horses play in your very being. They simply don't get it.
Argh! How could anyone not love horses? (that's what I am thinking when I have those special moments with Mac's head resting near me and we are just "together" and he smells good, and we had a good ride and he's this magnificent being . . and . . .)
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post #10 of 61 Old 01-04-2012, 03:03 PM
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We never had money to afford the horse or lessons or anything else horse-related, so I didn't even ask for it. I was able to get it all only after I was done with the college and got the more-or-less stable job.

My friends daughter (in her 20th already!) gets everything she wants even though they have no money to afford lots of things, and she thinks it's OK. Sometime I wonder where all these "give, give, give" is coming from....

P.S. Hidalgo, it's not directed at your OP or you, just a rant.

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