Update 7/20/13 Dad is Back in ICU- Not going to make it
What a long sleepless night....
I got a call last night when at my brothers party with my boyfriend from my sister in law telling me it was bad, he wasn't going to be leaving the hospital...
Two nights...no three now, my dad had another COPD attack at home and they rushed him in and got him stabilized. The next morning he was eating Pizza and his blood pressure went straight up through the roof almost stroking him out. The only way to get his body to calm down was to give him morphine and knock him out for the day. When I got there they had just knocked him out again because he was so uncomfortable.
He has a huge oxygen mask on and looks like a little old man. When I met him a year ago he looked nothing like this...he has aged 15 years in the year I have known him.
I also met three siblings and some cousins while we where there and got to know more about my family, the good and the bad. It just made me want to scream and cry and yell to be honest.
This is all so much for me right now.
I just met him and I have to say goodbye...and be around a hoard of people I dont know but yet they know a lot about me.
Its really just so ****ty, and hitting me now.
Somehow I didnt loose my **** last night and just break down crying...almost did but I couldn't in front of 6 people I don't know.
Anything he does, breathing, moving, talking makes his heart rate and blood pressure sky rocket, hes in a large amount of pain when not knocked out. I was so scared in maybe in shock that I couldn't even go over to his bed and sit next to him last night...what is wrong with me...
I am so mixed and jumbled with every emotion and feel numb inside.
I am waiting for the phone call from my family who is still with him, they are having a meeting with the team of doctors still working on his burns and all that.
Because of the burning tubes in his face two weeks ago he got smoke in his lungs and his lungs are already so trashed that is just made his heart work way to hard and now...well this is where we are at.
I dont know what to do or think.
My mom knows. My boyfriend and best friend know but that is about it for now....any you guys. Im scared if I start talking about it I will loose my **** and not be able to calm down.
Last night I was told he could pass anywhere from last night to a week from now....so now its just keeping him as comfortable as we can. he is a do not resuscitate so when he goes....he gone.
I now have to go hangout with friends at a street fair and wait for the call from my family...
please send him comforting thoughts...