Prayers for my Grampaw - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 16 Old 11-30-2012, 09:48 PM Thread Starter
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Prayers for my Grampaw

I just got the dreaded call. My granpaw had a stroke today. They don't know when he had it, but he was found at around 4pm..He had a artery clog in his neck, and we don't know how long he sat there before he was found. He is paralyzed on one side of his body, and he has lost his speech. The doctors say that he is aware of what is going on around him.

I'm hurt and angry at the same time. I don't know what to do. I'm sitting in my bathroom bawling my eyes out because I don't want my fiance to see me. I feel stupid. I'm angry because he sat there in the chair no telling how long paralyzed and drooling.

I have never lost anyone close to me, and I don't think I am ready.

I'm trying to remember all the good times so maybe I can compose myself before I come out of the bathroom. He used to raise beagles, and I always made him name the puppies after me. He would bring in the sick ones and we would stay up all night nursing them and keeping them warm. I would go every summer when I was a little girl and spend the summer with him. We would go on road trips and he would feed me so much candy I would get sick every time.

I just don't know what to do. I'm going to make the 4 hour trip and go see him Sunday. Buit I dn't want to walk in and turn onto a baby and him see me cry
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post #2 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 12:21 AM
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it's ok to cry but I get not wanting people to see you cry there are a very few people I will will let see me cry if I can help it. Those people are never the ones I'm crying for (well I did once, but the circumstances we're unusual) Prayer are on the way, hon.

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post #3 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 12:42 AM
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The need to not cry is your own and no one elses expectation.

Go see him and don't hold yourself to such unreasonable standards.

But at the same time, don't assume this is the end. My grandad had a few heart attacks before he left us, and he wore the nurses out asking them out to a nightclub which was there like 30 years before he was in hospital. He had all his brain functions, he just didn't know the club had closed.
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post #4 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 02:19 AM
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Prayers from me.

Being horseless is the pits!!
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post #5 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 02:25 AM
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Me as well. Lost my grandfather recently.
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post #6 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 02:42 AM
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Prayers your way! I agree with AlexS do not assume this is the end, though I understand your worries and you being upset by the circumstances. Hold close to your good memories and use them to keep you strong until you can see him and remind him how much you love him.

He knows when you're happy
He knows when you're comfortable
He knows when you're confident
And he always knows when you have carrots.
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post #7 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 06:54 AM
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Strokes are not a death sentence. My father had one about 6 years ago, and he lived another 5 years. And no, it wasn't another stroke that killed him. He was 89 years old, and just worn out.

Your grandfather will need live-in help for awhile, as he relearns how to use the left side of his body. Even if he's aware and alert the stroke damaged his brain, so even after he recovers you'll probably see some very marked changes in his personality. He may turn mean and verbally abusive at times. It's hard to take, but remember, your grandfather is still in there.

Good luck, and if you cry when you see him, then you cry.
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post #8 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 07:29 AM
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I've had relatives recover from strokes. Prayers coming your way. It's not the end of the world if you are seen crying-it's our reaction to sadness.
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post #9 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 07:42 AM
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Prayers coming your way.....and **HUGS**. First, after being married for over 30 years, this is the kind of thing your fiance should help you get through. You two are supposed to be a team, and you guys should weather the storms together as well as celebrate the victories together.

THe others are right. Strokes are not a certain death sentence. I doubt, from what you said about gram paw bringing you the sick puppies to nurse back.....that he would want you to think of it this way. Now it is HE who needs you, not the puppy. Please do not waste time beating yourself up over him not being found. That is not on you, altho, I know that is easy to need to stay positive and help him keep a good attitude. Yes, that may be tough, but a positive attitude really does help! That does not mean you don't cry or show emotion.....shoot, I have cried with patients, families, relatives, and the lot. (I am a nurse) I recently cried with my husband when he was diagnosed with a debilitating disease. But, then, we stop crying and move forward=together.

Hugs-and keep us posted on how things are going. Grampaw will probably be ging to a rehab facility, I would think......and there will be exercises you can help with.
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post #10 of 16 Old 12-01-2012, 08:19 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys. Once I got over the initial shock, I feel a bit better now. My dad is driving up there today and is going to let me know more. I worry about who's going to take care of him. Everyone works full time jobs besides my grandmother, but I doubt she can take care of him. He survived lung cancer twice, so he's a strong man. I wish I could do more, but like I said, he lives so gar away. If I could afford to quit my job AMD move him here with me, I would do it in a heartbeat.
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