Rant; Unfair to My Boyfriend - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 10:58 AM Thread Starter
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Rant; Unfair to My Boyfriend

To start off, my boyfriend, Garrett, has been helping my family out tremendously. We bale our own hay and since my sisters refuse to help with anything, its only me and my mom that picks up the hundreds of square bales. Every time we bale hay he has come over to help, doesn't complain about anything and even cleans our house when I fall asleep (I don't have very good health, so I get really tired easily).

He stays the night at my house for several days usually, as he lives pretty far from me and can't drive here and back every day. He stays in my room, which is in the basement on the opposite side of the house, while I sleep upstairs on the couch with my dad in the same room because he doesn't trust me at all. (I'm the "bad kid" of our family, even though I haven't done anything to earn that)

My older sister throws a fit almost every time he comes over, she honestly acts like a 5 year old, and half the time refuses to come upstairs or be around him at all even though he is nothing but nice to her. She constantly comes up with things to tell my parents to get us in trouble. For example: I was in the shower, which is downstairs next to my room, my mom knew and he was still asleep. I NEVER went into my room, but my sister told my parents that I went in there naked

Then yesterday and the day before, our neighbors helped with hay as we were giving some to them for use at their wedding, the soon to be step dad is very nice, thanked Garrett for helping and several times noted to my parents that they are lucky that I have "such a good man" in his words, but they seemed to shrug it off. But his step kids weren't so nice, they constantly made rude remarks to Garrett, even down to what he was wearing. But only when no one else was around.
My dad even yelled at us once because we stopped for 30 seconds, mind you it is 100 and up outside and very hard work.

I could probobly go on and on, but to sum it up none of my family seems to appreciate anything he does. I've talked to them about it but they don't make any changes. Even though I thank him constantly for everything he does, I don't feel its fair to him to be treated rudely by my family.

If you read all that, I applaud you, if you reply, thanks in advance. I could use some suggestions on how to fix this situation.
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Last edited by Foxesdontwearbowties; 07-24-2012 at 11:00 AM.
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post #2 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 11:29 AM
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How old are you?

I personaly would ask your boyfriend if he would step back and NOT lend a hand, then I'd go on strike like your sisters did and let them see just how much help he is being! If they question or make any comments about him not being there say something along the lines of "he felt he was obviously not wanted so he has decided not to intrude"

RIDE your horse FORWARDS and keep him STRAIGHT

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post #3 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 11:41 AM
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Have you talked to him about how all of this makes him feel? Or your parents, and why they are being rude to him?

He sounds like a wonderful young man, and if I were your parents, I would be extremely appreciative of someone who is both helpful and respectful.

Life's shining moments, however big or small, will always out weigh our darkest hour.
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post #4 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 12:19 PM Thread Starter
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I'm 16, I have tried the "strike" thing, but I can't stand being yelled at and that's pretty much the only thing that came out of it.

We do talk about it, it only makes him want to try harder so they'll like him, as we aren't aloud to be together at all if they aren't watching us, which I understand to an extent but we're not even aloud to go to dinner with his parents. /:

My parents, when confronted about anything, deny their actions. Basically anything they do, they'll deny it, and if they promise to do something for me (Which I never depend on anymore) and don't do it, they claim I never even asked them about it. If I say something to them when he's here, they'll thank him but its obviously a forced, insincere thank you.

So talking to them doesn't really do anything, but Garrett and I are planning to sit down with them at some point to try and get them to let us have a little more freedom, as its hard on our relationship because we aren't really aloud to act like a couple, we hold hands but that's as close as we can be together.

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post #5 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 12:21 PM Thread Starter
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And when I said more freedom, I just mean being able to go places with his parents, who I am closer to than my own parents, as they are more accepting of me and actually make an effort to talk to me. I don't expect them to let me go wherever I want alone with him, though it would be nice to be able to go to dinner/movie by ourselves.

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post #6 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 12:33 PM
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Sounds like nothing will change their minds so just carry on as you have been doing. If your parents have half a brain, they will realize what a decent young man he is. My daughter's b/f, now her husband, was the first guy she brought home that helped with the hay & the poor guy is allergic to it! The other previous b/fs, me & her daddy were pretty tough on, even told one of them if he hurt my kid, we have lagoon out back we weight the bodies down in. That boy didn't stick around too long. Her now husband said he was never afraid of the lagoon because he would never hurt her, that's how you know you found a keeper.
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post #7 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 12:56 PM
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I'm with Faye. Your parents seem to have not noticed what a help he is, so have him not come for a while.

And your only 16....I sure as hell wouldn't be letting my daughter sleep in the same room with her BF at that age...I know what it's like to be 16. Even though I'm only 18 so I can't say a whole lot. Plus, just having the boyfriend asleep in the house is kinda awkward. There have been a few emergency times where my boyfriend had to sleep on our couch, but we have been dating for 2 and a half years, and my dad locked me in my room until it was time for me to wake up. Can you blame the guy?:P

I do think your parents need to give you some space however. I don't understand why parents feel the urge to go on dates with the kid. Like, way to make it super awkward and make a fool of your child. Your 16 (wow I'm contradicting myself haha) I'm sure you can handle yourself out in public.
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post #8 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 01:01 PM
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Foxy, 16 years old is still a little too young to act as a couple. May be your parents are trying to protect you still.

So when your sister doesn't work does she get yelled at?

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #9 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxesdontwearbowties View Post
And when I said more freedom, I just mean being able to go places with his parents, who I am closer to than my own parents, as they are more accepting of me and actually make an effort to talk to me. I don't expect them to let me go wherever I want alone with him, though it would be nice to be able to go to dinner/movie by ourselves.
Why not have his parents contact yours? They may not believe you, but generally adults can reach some sort of compromise.

I find it hard to believe that you're living in what essentially boils down to house arrest, with parents who are completely unwilling to give you any sort of freedom without there being any kind of reason. What have you done in the past to make them not trust you? If you say 'nothing', I'm going to find that hard to take as the truth. Parents aren't generally 'meanies' for no reason whatsoever.
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post #10 of 29 Old 07-24-2012, 01:35 PM
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tell the boyfriend not to comeover and help, You ,though are still part of the family and should do your share. What sisters do or don't do isnt your problem or business. You still do what is right.

Also no way in hell my 16 yo daughters going to be having sleepovers. I don't care what room whos in, COme sundown, Johnny boy needs to carry his happy hindquarters down the road.
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