Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
I can understand what you are saying, but I think its not as simple as it seems.
If I had kids I'd think it would be extremely important to raise them with good values. My values. To me that would include embracing a range of sexualities and cultures in society. I'd pass other values. Like to be critical of the world, to ask questions, to seek understanding. I'd try to teach them kindness to animals and people, valuing equality, helping others, stuff like that. That's what I believe makes a good person so that's what I'd try to pass on.
But some people don't share my beliefs. I know many Christian families who believe that their beliefs and values are obviously right. That their values are extremely important to them. So of course they'd pass on what they believe is right. What they believe makes a good person. And it's probably a bit different from what I believe. Or other families that believe in ambition, or other things, many other things.That's the thing in life, we're given the opportunity to live, discover, make up own minds, then have children and try to shape them into the best humans we can.
Your parents believe what they believe. They think it's right. They think it's best belief to hold. So of course they'd pass it on to their children. They raised you and you've learned other things that they never did, so you'll have your own beliefs and probably one day pass them onto your children. And who knows, maybe by then they'll think your beliefs are wrong and hurtful, and will fight you about that.
To say other people's beliefs and wrong and they should change, regardless how much I believe that, is close minded in it's own way. Accepting difference isn't just accepting the things you like. It's accepting that everyone is different, and has their own opinions and beliefs and some of those are hurtful. But I think it's important to remember that your parents don't think this is wrong, they think they are doing the best they can. If you can't admire their beliefs, admire their intentions for you, to be the best person you can, even if it's in a different way to how it turned out.
Accepting family and dealing with it everyday can be one of the hardest things. I myself am related some extremely homophobic, racist and downright unkind people. It sucks. Accept the things, and people, you cannot change, and work towards the things you can.