Oh, I have more translated stuff: So you want to buy a horse
Take a rope and tie it up to a wheelbarrow. Wait when a night and dark come. After it start to draw bloating wheelbarrow around your farmyard. Do this at least for two hours and it it's possible choose a night when there are a storm/downpour/freezing cold out of doors.
Work a full day. After workday drive e.g. your summer cottage and start to shovel mud and sand onto an armchair. Do this at least for half an hour. Take body brushes and clean the armchair rigorously. Straddle on the back rest of the unsteady armchair and push it with your legs. Highlight the situation with swashing and smacking. Do this at least for 45 min. If the armchair capsize during this run at least for 5 minutes around your cottage. When running, chatter to the armchair very reassuringly. Now you can mount up the armchair again. After this clean and swathe the armchair again and finally take it out.
Beat your brains so you would find out what kind of food you can serve your armchair.
Put a cat out. Cajole and chase the cat here and there in your field. Take a bucket of oat with you. Continue chasing until the cat surrender. You get extra points if the cat runs in a near forest.
Burn different banknotes in a fireplace. Do this regularly (all better if you can do it daily). Watch how them burn and turn to ash and smoke. Burn 400 to 1000 euros per month. In the night when you draw the wheelbarrow loft tenners whole the time. Now you've covered outlays of your horse.
Do you still want a horse? A letter from a summercamp
Dear mom and dad! Our scout leader told that we have to write to our parents on the change that you've heard about a flood and become worried. Don't worry! We're ok! Only one tent and two sleeping bags rinsed away. Luckily no one of us drowned because we were on mountains combing Sam when this happened.
Oh dear mom could you phone to Sam's mom, please? Tell her that Sam is ok. He can't write because of that gypsum. I rode by a Jeep of the rescue team. It was fun! We'd have never found Sam in that dark forest without that lightning. Scout leader Willie was very angry about it that Sam left us and started to ramble in the forest alone. Sam told that he told it but there was a that big burning here at the time and maybe Willie didn't heard him. By the way, did you know that if you throw a can of gasolin to fire it'll explode? Wet boughs didn't burn but one of the tents burnt. And also some of our garments. Jerry looks fun until his hair grow back.
We'll come home on monday if scout leader Willie manages to fix the car. That crash wasn't Willies fault, not at all! Brake worked well when we set off. Scout leader Willie said that there's always something wrong when the car is so old. Maybe that's why he didn't get a traffic insurance for the car. We think that the car is really cool! But it's also pretty hot when there are ten people inside it. We were allowed to sit in a rear cart alternately but then police stopped us and forbad it. Scout leader Willie is really great person. Don't worry, he is talented driver. Actually he teachs Ted to drive switchbacks. There aren't traffic almost at all, only some logging trucks.
This morning I and some other scouters were swimming in a lake. We jumped from rocks to water a head at first. It was kooky because Willie had to keep an eye on us when we hadn't swimsuits (them burnt along with tents). Scout leader Willie didn't allow me go to the lake because I can't swim. Sam was apprehensive that he can't float with his gypsum. So we were allowed to go and canoe. It was great, if we craned to the lake we could see branchs and trees which were rinsed to the lake with the flood. Scout leader Willie isn't a twit like other scout leaders I've met. He didn't even get mad when we told that we forgot our life jackets.
Willie spend a lot of time fixing the car so we try to perturb him so rarely as possible.
Hey, guess what? We all got a distinction regarding our first-aid skills. When Tina dived to the lake she got a wound to her arm and we all let to watch how tourniquet works. Dennis and I vomitted but Willie said that it might stemmed from a food poisoning because that chicken had lain a top on the table for a long time. He said that they had been got sick just like we after eating prison food with his friends. I thank God that they free him and let him come to lead us. And mom, could you tell me what pedophile means?
Hey, have to go now. We're going to the town and mail these letters. We also buy some bullets.
Ps. When I got my latest tetanus vaccination?