Relationship advise needed ! :(

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Relationship advise needed ! :(

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    09-08-2013, 09:04 AM
Relationship advise needed ! :(

Soooo, my relationship at the moment iv very conplicated. Here's the story...
Iv been with my boyfriend for the best part of 4 years and up until a few months back we were happy!! He thinks everything is fine up to a certain point but me on the other hand, I am not happy anymore. I haven't been feeling happy for a while and now he is starting to notice it and its making him feel insecure which isn't fair. I think I'd like to end the relationship and be on my own for a while bit when I asked him for a break he goes off on one saying that I don't love him etc.. But I do love him and I can't bring myself to end it when him coz I do love him just not in the way that I used to.
And to top it all off there's a guy in work with me that Iv been chatting to lately and I know he has feelings for me and I think I'm starting to feel the same way. But I just feel so bad on my boyfriend I just dnow what todo anymore :(

Any advice ?
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    09-08-2013, 09:06 AM
Sorry for the bad spelling guys I wrote it out on my phone and predictive txt is a nightmare lol
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    09-08-2013, 09:17 AM
Either commit to the guy you've been with for 4 years and try to work out the issues or dump him and go it alone. The guy at work, at this point, is just a distraction to the real issue.

The one thing I'll always say is, don't get involved with one while you're still with the other. Make a clean break and then get involved with someone else, that way at least you don't add being a cheat to mix.
    09-08-2013, 09:28 AM
I understand where your coming from. The guy in work we are only friends I would never do anything with him while I'm still with my boyfriend. I want to end it but I care to much about his feelings coz I know he will be hurt more than me. He's such a nice guy I don't want to hurt him but I also can't help how I'm feeling aither.
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    09-08-2013, 09:31 AM
Originally Posted by Alfie92    
I understand where your coming from. The guy in work we are only friends I would never do anything with him while I'm still with my boyfriend. I want to end it but I care to much about his feelings coz I know he will be hurt more than me. He's such a nice guy I don't want to hurt him but I also can't help how I'm feeling aither.
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The point is, make up your mind and do SOMETHING. Either decide to work on it and spend some more time with him while you give things a chance or CUT it off cleanly and go away. Yes, he'll be hurt but not as much as if you let it drag on where you make it clear you don't want to be there, don't want to be with him, and on and on.
Speed Racer likes this.
    09-08-2013, 12:15 PM
My normal piece of advice, if you're not happy in a relationship then get out. By staying in the relationship you go from you being unhappy to both of you being miserable.
Speed Racer likes this.
    09-08-2013, 12:18 PM
What do you think staying with someone who doesn't want to be with him is going to do to his feelings and self-esteem?

If you don't want to be with him anymore, break it off. Do not get involved with the guy at work regardless. Work relationships and breakups complicate things and could get you fired anyway. If you end up liking the boy at work, find a new job first or get him a new job first.
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    09-08-2013, 04:23 PM
Green Broke
Best to end it if you're not happy. It's not likely to change and you're probably stringing out the inevitable. You know in your heart what you should do.
    09-08-2013, 05:30 PM
Speaking from experience, end it. And end it now. And don't go back. Youll drag it out, hurt feelings and he'll probably call you and beg you and then try to guilt trip you.

Just be done. You will not be any happier then you are right now if you stay. And your not happy.

End it and move forward in your life. Without him.
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Skyseternalangel likes this.
    09-08-2013, 05:32 PM
I'm kind of in the same spot with my relationship of 2 years. It was great until a few months ago when things stated to slip downhill because of various things. I finally had a talk with him about him about how I wasn't happy and how something needed to change otherwise I was out. Story of this week: I knew he was off to another province soon (last we talked about it was months ago and I couldn't remember the dates) so I asked the other day when he was going - well I learn he's already been gone for a day. Not a "hey, I'm leaving soon for a couple weeks and we've barely seen eachother for the last two months, maybe you want to have dinner/get together/something before I go?" Or "hey, I'm leaving tomorrow/today". Not a word and I haven't heard from him since I learned he had already left, and I don't know when he's back either - I'm assuming a week or so. I'm less than thrilled and it was the last straw. He's stopped putting in any effort at all and I don't have the time, energy nor inclination to hang on anymore. I'm unhappy so I've decided to end it.

Moral of the story: I agree with everyone else. Either sit down and say we need to work on this and change something or be done with it. I tried the first and it made no impact whatsoever so I'm deciding to end it. As Druydess said, it's probably just stringing out the inevitable, that's what happened with me. If you're not happy then it's probably best to end it and move along.

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