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Roadside Crosses- For or Against?

2K views 14 replies 10 participants last post by  Cat 
#1 ·
Okay, I'm bored at work and my current political events education is coming to an end. The little bit of knowledge I have on that topic is getting weaker and weaker.

Sooooo....

Today, while out at lunch, I came across a roadside cross on a main road, just off the highway exit. The grass was trimmed closer in a perfect circle around a brand new cross and there was a grave blanket of flowers at the base of the cross.

It was so manicured and perfect, I found myself speculating and wondering if the remains of the individual were actually under that blanket of flowers.

One one hand, I don't agree with erecting crosses and creating monuments at the location a person lost his or her life.

But, I am also not that cold and cynical. I understand and feel for the grief of the family who lost their love one.

What are your opinions? Should our public streets, roads, and highways become monuments and places to erect a cross where a person lost their life? Or should these symbols remain in the cementary?


PS - If any forum members have lost a family member and erected a highway cross, I mean you no harm. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your loss.
 
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#3 ·
I understand the need to grieve. However, that location is not where their loved ones are. I actually don't want to be buried with a headstone. Cremate me and scatter my ashes.

I also think they can be a distraction to the drivers.
Distraction is a good way of describing how I feel when I see one. I find myself focusing on the bright cross and bloomed flowers and then - WOW brake lights!

:shock:
 
#4 ·
They typically don't bother me. But why would someone want to remember where a life ended? I personally, wouldn't want a cross placed where I died. But to each their own.

The only crosses that bother me are on my way to class. The road has 2 large hills, and there are 3 HUGE crosses placed here. Like 6 feet tall, 5 feet wide. It's overboard.

The story behind that is those 3 boys, around 17 years old, were picking on another boy. They were following the other boy, passing him, then slamming on the breaks. The boy finally got sick of it and slowed way down. The 3 teenagers went to pass him, and a car was coming the other way. They swerved and hit a tree on the opposite side of the road, and they lost their lives.

The other boy was prosecuted and is still sitting in jail for their deaths because he was involved in "egging them on"

Those crosses I feel are a slap in the face to the parents of this other boy. Those 3 boys chose to be cruel and if it weren't for their own selfish choices, they'd all be alive right now.
 
#5 ·
I'm torn on the issue.
Distraction kinda, reminder to be careful here, yes!
I live on one of the deadliest highways in the US. Motorcyclists travel from all over the country and world just to ride it. Every weekend it seems like someone dies. And often there is a marker put up. I hope it serves as a reminder for the bikers to be careful. I cannot count the times that I've come around one of the switch backs and confronted a biker leaning over the yellow line. I've come close to taking off several heads, thankfully for them it was me and I hug the white line to prevent such a wreck.

Now on the torn part, our highway is rated as one of the most scenic in the nation so the monuments start looking trashy after a while. We also had a biker die just feet away from our driveway and his family felt like they needed to erect a VERY complicated monument on OUR fence that I had to look at every day. Yes, it was a good reminder to me and others to be safe, but ON MY FENCE? I left if up for 8 years until it just looked like a pile of junk and they had quit adding to it and maintaining it. He was a very respected man in the biking community so I did the best I could.

Be safe people!
 
#6 ·
Another one, on the way to my grandma's house, there is a creek surrounded by woods. Apparently another teen lost his life there. He was big into motocross and the parents took his bike, disassembled it, and then tossed the bike parts all over the bushes/trees/shrubs/rocks where he died.

That's overboard in my book too, it's littering. And yes, I am distracted by those sorts of things because I wanna see what it is. LoL.
 
#7 ·
i am catholic and my religion tells me everyone goes to heaven or hell depending on if they repent..

however i believe where ever the death occured is where part of the soul stays and the rest goes to whereever my god chooses... so just because you move the body to a burial site that doesn't mean you have a connection with them.

but then that can be twisted to what if people die in the hospital? do you think memorials should be built there for the dead. and so on...

the memorials themselves on the side of the road doesn't bother me and i think it helps young drivers realize that death occurs all the time by accidents and gets them to think.


so my theory is kinda of flawed lol
 
#9 ·
i am catholic and my religion tells me everyone goes to heaven or hell depending on if they repent..

however i believe where ever the death occured is where part of the soul stays and the rest goes to whereever my god chooses... so just because you move the body to a burial site that doesn't mean you have a connection with them.

but then that can be twisted to what if people die in the hospital? do you think memorials should be built there for the dead. and so on...

the memorials themselves on the side of the road doesn't bother me and i think it helps young drivers realize that death occurs all the time by accidents and gets them to think.


so my theory is kinda of flawed lol
Good point, but most young drivers don't make the connection. If you really want to shock them you need to leave the vehicle wreckage on the side of the road complete with blood spatters!

The year before I graduated, a group of teens went out joyriding and drinking (this was in 82, laws were VERY different. You could do that and get caught with only a slap on the wrist).

Well, this group of 4 crashed their vehicle with another vehicle and all four of them died. The vehicle was mangled. There was blood everywhere.

The parents of the vehicle owner had that vehicle hauled to the high school and deposited on the front lawn with a banner that warned others of the dangers of drinking and driving.

Very sobering effect.
 
#8 ·
Reminds me of years ago driving with some friends (they were driving ) in Mexico in their suupped up VW bug, at something like 80 mph (so fast the 800lb car is nearly airborn!) and the driver keeps indicating here and there at the road side crosses, "My friend's cousin died there. and that one, that's my old teacher and her husband. Over there is . . . ", while I dig my fingernails into the vinyl seat and start praying , good and hard. Their attitude about life and death was sure different!
 
#11 ·
In Utah they used to put up white crosses where Highway Patrolmen have lost thier lives. They recently took all the crosses down because some atheist groups were offended by the religious symbols. I think it is ridiculous and I am disappointed that our state caved so esily to the pressure of these groups. If I owned property next to one of these crosses I would have gladly errected a cross just as high as I could get it to go with a big scriptural reference on the front of it. I get irritated very easily by groups that proffess to be champions of tolerance but are in fact intolerant of all other viewpoints. I don't see why an atheist would be anything but amused at all of the people running around worrying about God and eternal damnation.
 
#13 ·
I have no problem with a small, subtle marker. There was an incident at the intersection by my house, and older man was riding his motorcycle through the intersection and a drunk driver ran the light (middle of the day) and hit him so hard he split the bike in half. This was a few years ago, and there's still a small cross welded from two pieces of the bike hung in the tree on the corner. It doesn't strike me as 'distracting' and it's clean, off the ground, not cluttered.
On the other hand, not far from there, a teenage girl was hit and killed. Every day her dad would light a candle at the spot she had died. One day a candle tipped over and the fire spread through two of the neighbours' fields before it was put out.

So really... where do you draw the line, I think it's a difficult subject, really.
 
#14 ·
I have no problem with it, like the poster ^, a nice subtle marker is fine. Someone very close to me lost their 18 year old daughter in an car accident. She was a passenger in an accident that occured in broad daylight; the other car was in the wrong lane for 9 seconds (it was on tape from a security camera). Nine seconds!! The driver at fault claimed some medical condition that caused her to black out - and is still driving around!!! The state "plea bargained" it down to community service. Can you imagine how that alone must feel to a parent that has lost thier child to someone like that????

Anyway, what a parent and/or family go through is beyond your worst nightmare - and you never know the circumstances behind each cross. I think they feel thier loved ones become "forgotten", and that in itself is painful. The cross is for the family, let them have the cross.
 
#15 ·
There is a marker at the end of my road that is of a small satellite dish because the guy worked for the company. But its been up a couple years now and you have to creep out onto the main road to see around it to the one direction. I think that is ridiculous and dangerous.

Personally I don't mind people putting up the markers if it makes them feel better as long as they are not in the way to see and I do think there should be a time-limit on how long they can remain up. Maybe 6 months?
 
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