Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: west palm beach, fl
some of you know i fight some anxiety issues. mostly, between drs and some counselors and some other experienced individuals, i learned it is PTSD related, along with a symptom of how/who i was living with. (an individual with narcissistic personality-deduced by a dr, whom he saw once, who treated me for nearly six months)
about a year ago, i was prescribed lexapro to maintain my mental state. i was also giving a xanax prescription to help with my panic attack type situations.
recently, i ran from everything in my life, and began anew. sat on a large piece of property for nearly two months, just me a hundred or so cows and my horses (who got FAT on this vacation) its done me wonders, and on drs orders, ive cut my lexapro dosage in half. still occasionally need the xanax, but its become a once a weekish thing instead of a every couple daysish thing.
the past three nights, ive had terrible nightmares. people dying, car crashes, my girlfriend (we're not getting along at ALL) choking me, my extremely abusive ex and a massive altercation, trying to scream and i cant, trying to move and i cant, ive kicked the walls, gotten nearly suffocated by my blankets, cold sweats, etc. tonight, every time i got sleepy and began to close my eyes, i began to panic. its like as soon as i get comfortable and try to sleep, my heart starts to race and that familiar knot in my chest comes back. so, after laying in bed with my partners for an hour, i gave up and went looking for my pills.
which were supposed to be in my purse.
and are not.
now, they should be in the zipper part of my purse, which is where they've been for the past year, since i was prescribed them. And though its possible the zipper was left open, never have i lost a bottle. not once that i can think of. im a bit anal about my purse organization. i would have noticed them missing when i went to took my lex this morning. they were there.
so, on top of not being able to sleep, im now very upset.
its possible, but not probable that they fell out of my purse.
i live with two other adults.
one i trust with an unwavering dedication. one whom is the queen of bull****.
the main issue, how the hell am i going to get to sleep tonight?