Rubies Rant. life insights wanted

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Rubies Rant. life insights wanted

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        12-01-2012, 10:20 PM
    Rubies Rant. life insights wanted

    Alright. I was born in a small town and moved to a city when I was 9. I've had the same friends for the past 11 years. My mom, her boyfriend, her farm, my horses. We were all quite comfortable. Well last year I got a call from my dad. He's 60 and he has a lot of health problems. I have 2 older brothers and an older sister that all have their own families (apparently horses and dogs don't count) so I was the one that was chosen to come work for my dad. This is all fine and dandy except my father crabs for a living. 10 hours a day of heavy lifting, bending over, sorting, getting wet, heat, cold, etc. I was 120 pounds with a nice womanly shape. I dropped to 110 and look like a 14 year old boy with abs and veins in my arms. Bleh. Ok. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is that I was NOT getting paid because my father said he was about to loose the house!..yet. He hired my brother and paid him $500 a week cash! Ok ok. He needed the money. I understand my dad was helping my brother. But do you think I could have gotten on single thank you for turning my life upsidedown? No of course not. And when I had a mental breakdown and mentioned it...I got snapped at. I figured once the season ended I would got a winter job. Well, in response to my breakdown my dad gets me a job as a waitress. One month before the season ended. So I'm like...why do you need me here again? I don't mind my current occupation, it's a fun job. Okay money. But of course there's a problem with it- I like one of my coworkers. Go me. I feel so unappreciated by my father, I didn't even get a thank you for moving down here, and I want to move back so badly. But I can't leave him to do all this hard work alone. I only have one more cabling season left (April-November 2013 and maybe a few months of 2014 because who knows how long it'll take my dad to get s.s.)

    And my dad isn't the only uncles are ridiculous. When I first came down I brought my horse. They told me that while I was down here helping my dad I could use their 30 acre field however I wanted to. I quote 'fence the whole thing in for all I care'. So I get about 1/3 of it fenced in and work on making it a half of the field and they go...'oh no, you can't do that' I'm flipping sorry but I have 3 **** horses to feed! They need grass!! So I'm now taking up the fence I JUST put in and moving it into a L shape instead of a straight they instructed. Now they're complaining about me having 3 horses because I only started out with one. By the way...they never tell me anything direct even though I made it a point to give them my cell phone #. They tell my dad or my brother who don't always pass the message on! I also asked them if they minded that I get another horse. Answer was 'no, I don't mind, do whatever'.
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        12-01-2012, 10:26 PM
    Blood is thick, but at some point you may just need to tell them that you love them but you need to live your own life, not theirs. If you don't set limits, family will use you up worse than most strangers or thieves would ever consider.
    RubieLee likes this.
        12-01-2012, 10:36 PM
    Thank you. It's only one more year though. I'm thinking what the hell. Ill deal with getting yelled at for using the washing machine and living with a step mom that ignores me and a dad that ignores how she treats me and oh yeah, my two little brothers who have no idea what the word respect means. Some nights they are up till 3 in the morning screaming and hollering. Usually nights before I have to work early in the morning. Oh...please yell at me some more because I don't stay home and spend time with you crazy people. One day at a time. And I like this guy....who likes to drink and forget all the wonderful things he tells me about why he likes me, oops, he says love now. Can't forget about that and my fear of commitment and my horrible relationship skills. I will forget his birthday and our anniversary and why do we have to put a label on enjoying each other's company?

    Once again, thank you for listening to my crazy rant.

    I would do what I want but right now all I want to do is drop off the face of the earth for a week and out in the desert somewhere where there is no one to want things from me, no responsibility, just peace. Oh...oops. I forgot I'm broke and can't afford that
        12-01-2012, 10:49 PM
    I'd pack up and leave. Why are you accepting this kind of treatment? Just because he's related to you ? So what? Why does that make this abuse okay? You wouldn't accept it from a non-relative. Having a blood tie doesn't make abuse okay.

    People accept entirely too much bull in the name of family.

    Oh and dump the drunkard loser.
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        12-01-2012, 10:56 PM
    Lol. Its my dad. The doctor gave him 3 months to live if he didn't quit crabbing. I can't loose my dad. I only have one of them. And he has two young kids to provide for. That's the biggest reason why I'm staying here.

    I've never had a guy make me happier. He is sweet as can be, he LIKES to hang out with me, he doesn't already have a girlfriend or kids, we go out to lunch, he comes riding with me, I think I portrayed him a little harshly because of that one thing. It really upset me. He just doesn't remember anything when he's drunk. I like to drink too so I can't really say I'm not as much of a loser as he is..I just happen to remember everything.
        12-01-2012, 11:01 PM
    You already know my opinion....
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        12-01-2012, 11:02 PM
    I do best friend. If I come back to MD soon I'll bring you a horse
        12-01-2012, 11:32 PM
    Yes please do **** it.

    But even if you don't I'll be fine. Jesus Christ come back for your own **** sanity. That is way more important than a horse that I don't even have yet. I will help either fix the trailer or help in some other way. But **** you don't deserve the **** you posted on here and the boat loads you tell me everyday. Just be selfish for once in a while. Tolerance is key in life when it comes to dealing with people but when you're killing your self you need to think about yourself.
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        12-01-2012, 11:33 PM
    And what if I move back and miss out on the perfect mate?
        12-01-2012, 11:40 PM
    HE TOLD YOU HE WOULD FOLLOW YOU! Need I say more. What us destined to work out will work out either way. Jason and I just had this conversation. If its meant to be it will happen. Don't kill yourself about a guy who is still iffy. Until he announces it to the restaurant full of people that he loves you, don't beat your self up on what if. I have for the longest time. What if john and my mom don't get along? What if I meet Lorrie accidentally? And every other what if. And honestly its done nothing to make me either more depressed or let down.
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    RubieLee likes this.

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