Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: foothills of Virginia
Thanx, Joshie, that is very true. I knew right off the bat she was modleing my behavior, but since her sister never really did it, I guess I didn't think I was having that effect. And I don't talk bad about myself, ALL the time, but it has slipped out, and I have a hard time takin compliments, I always think "yeah, your are just being nice." So I don't say many nice things about myself. My hubby got me a shirt that says 'Somebody has to make this shirt look good,' it was kinda a joke. He is always tryin to boost me up, and the girls, I am really lucky there. I think the father figure has a BIG effect on a girls self esteem, and my hubby has watched me struggle with BDD all my life, and been frustrated as to why I dress so dumpy, so he is very aware how even an innocent remark can go wrong. My father had made a 'joke' about my complexion when I was a teenager, and I cried and cried over it, and developed an obsession with washing my face, till it was dry and cracked all the time. So she has that in her favor. But I really have to completely eliminate ALL my personal put downs to myself, even the ones no one hears. I know that, but it is like a voice in the back of my head I can't get rid of, or tune out. But I am more comfortable in my skin than I was, I don't feel I am beautiful, don't I don't really feel I am ugly, I just try not to concern myself with it at all. I don't even think I could say I am beautiful, would be too absurd, but not a bad idea.
I also put on ALOT of weight with my second pregnancy, I was HUGE, I had gestational diabeties, I put on 80 lbs with my second child. I lost alot of it, but I have the skin thing, and I have never been back to my second-prepregnancy weight.
I loved what you said about the boy, and how people do things outta pain. I beleive that too. That is why I don't take things as personally as I did.
Know thyself, know thy horse.
Last edited by DarkChylde; 12-28-2008 at 10:05 AM.