Setting Goals for Oneself - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 5 Old 07-21-2011, 02:13 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 537
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Setting Goals for Oneself

At my most recent job review, my boss told me that I am not reaching my full potential because I am not setting enough goals for myself. After much self-reflection, I believe that this bad habit of mine is present in my entire life, not just at work.

I've been trying to set goals for my horsemanship, what I do, what I eat, what I say, etc. Problem is, I talk myself out of it. When someone else tells me that I need to achieve a certain goal, I can do it...but when I set one for myself, it fails nearly 100% of the time. I am a bit of a perfectionist (ISTJ personality type), so I fear failure. Is this inability to set goals for myself because I do not like failure or something?

Does anyone else have this issue? What did you do about it? Any advice?

| Kubie, Appaloosa (RIP) | Patches, Pinto Arabian Pony | Scotch, Paint Quarterhorse |
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post #2 of 5 Old 07-21-2011, 02:36 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pennington, NJ
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Find one small change that's really easy to stick to. Once you realize success in one small thing, pick something a little bigger. Nobody says you have to have huge dreams and goals, but taking things a step at a time can ultimately get you wherever you want to go!

For me, I am constantly wishing I would eat better and get more exercise to have better core strength. I started out by cutting down to one cup of coffee in the morning and getting to where I could drink it without sugar. This actually took quite some time, but being successful at that one little thing led me to start eating a small healthier breakfast (which I used to skip), and not eating so much junk food throughout the day. Next goal is to start doing my 20 minute equestrian workout dvd every morning...

I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted.
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post #3 of 5 Old 07-21-2011, 02:40 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pennington, NJ
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Oh, and I'll tell you one more story...

For years I've been trying to go back to school and get my degree. Two years ago, I decided to try AGAIN at the community college and registered for two classes. I got two As. Next semester, I registered for three and got three more As. I chipped away at it year round and graduated with an associate's last December with honors. This Fall, I'll be starting at Penn State full time, while continuing to work full time. I started slow, but gained momentum with each little taste of success and now I'm actually able to see that my goal of finishing my bachelors might happen one day soon.

I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted.
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post #4 of 5 Old 07-21-2011, 08:12 PM
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Branson
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You should never set a goal that is out of reach...that invites failure. You should set goals so that you have to make an effort to reach them, but not so high you will get discouraged along the way if they begin to seem too distant.

Goals should be short term, not long term. When you reach your goal set the next short term goal...and so on...
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post #5 of 5 Old 07-21-2011, 10:39 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
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I don't know if I can help personality is an INTJ, so I'm a creative thinker, and I'm also a Leo.....I never ever accept failure or take no as an answer. If I want something, I will make it happen for myself one way or the other.

All I can say is that if you think you will fail, you will. You have to change essentially your whole way of viewing things, which is hard. Start small and work up. For example, set one goal, and then set steps on how to get there.
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