Should I confront my fiancé about lying/being a jerk? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum

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post #11 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 12:50 PM
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^^^^^ that! I know it's hard but we don't always love what is best for us. Confonting him will only produce more lies, I.e.I'll never lie again.
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post #12 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 12:50 PM
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Wow! Custom made ring for $18 and made-up accident story? And you call him "amazing"? Sorry, girl, but I'd look for the different man. He will NOT going to change whether you talk to him or not, and you will NOT know when he lies to you.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #13 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 12:50 PM
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Sorry, but the lying is a VERY BIG DEAL, and if you can't see that then you're going to get hurt and perhaps not just emotionally.

If he'll lie to you about small stuff he's going to lie to you about big things such as, 'Oh no honey, I'd NEVER cheat on you!'

'Oh sweetie, I'm sorry I was mad and hit you. I promise it'll NEVER happen again!'

'Oh baby, I SWEAR I was robbed and didn't really blow my paycheck on booze and hookers! You know I'd NEVER do that!'

Most men aren't compulsive liars who need to make up crap to feel better than they are. You need to find one of those, not stay with this loser.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #14 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 12:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildfire89 View Post
The lying is literally the only thing I have to complain about.
You say that as if it's a small inconsequential thing. Lying is HUGE. And it VERY quickly will build and spiral.

One of my ex-good-friends started this. Compulsively lying. Honestly at first I thought it was funny, just a little quirk. Eventually it would get to the point where he lied about EVERYTHING. There was MORE than one time I could see that he was wrong and I would even look it up and point it out, and he'd get defensive and upset.

I love the guy but that right there is the reason I no longer speak to him. The fact that he thinks he can lie to my face and get away with it, and then have the audacity to get upset when I prove him wrong, makes my blood boil.

I really doubt you're going to take the advice and run since he is "so perfect", so the only advice I can give you is YES. Confront him about it.
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post #15 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
If he'll lie to you about small stuff he's going to lie to you about big things such as, 'Oh no honey, I'd NEVER cheat on you!', 'Oh sweetie, I'm sorry I was mad and hit you. I promise it'll NEVER happen again!', 'Oh baby, I SWEAR I was robbed and didn't really blow my paycheck on booze and hookers! You know I'd NEVER do that!'
Not very nice of me, but . It's all true. Unfortunately.

I knew exactly a guy in a rant (lie and made-up stories about everything), and I also knew a woman who wanted to marry him. She ended up without all money she saved. And the guy switched to a different "target".
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #16 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 12:55 PM
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I'd say that your fiancé is starting to show his true colors to you finally. You are headed towards a potentially abusive relationship. I can speak from experience. The lies and verbal abuse start slowly and will just build over time. Get out while you can.

Strength is not defined by physical ability. It is determined by your actions and the compassion of your soul.
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post #17 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 01:02 PM
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You could also just continue to lie to yourself and think about what a great catch you have.
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post #18 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
Sorry, but the lying is a VERY BIG DEAL, and if you can't see that then you're going to get hurt and perhaps not just emotionally.

If he'll lie to you about small stuff he's going to lie to you about big things such as, 'Oh no honey, I'd NEVER cheat on you as long as you don't piss me off!'

'Oh sweetie, I'm sorry I was mad and hit you. I promise it'll NEVER happen again as long as you don't screw up again.!'

'Oh baby, I SWEAR I was robbed and didn't really blow my paycheck on booze and hookers! You know I'd NEVER do that as long as I don't have money to do it with!'

Most men aren't compulsive liars who need to make up crap to feel better than they are. You need to find one of those, not stay with this loser.
Added his real responses when it escalates to the level it is surely headed to.

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post #19 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 01:11 PM
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You just described my EX husband. He did that same crap. He would tell crazy tells to me and my family, and ne er could back it up. Speaking from experience, RUN RUN RUN
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post #20 of 116 Old 08-15-2013, 01:14 PM
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Should you confront him?

Yes.

What you do after the fallout will determine your future, good or bad.

Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.
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