Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Woodinville, Washington
• Horses: 0
When I was 20 I made the very stupid mistake of marrying a guy who was a compulsive liar. It wasn't pretty.
I too was where you are, believing that he was so sweet and wonderful and the times I caught him lying were just little, isolated instances. When other people warned me about his compulsive lying they just didn't understand him, they were treating him wrong, they were lying... any excuse to take blame away from him in my mind. He was the type of liar who truly believed his own lies (mentally unstable) which made him so very convincing. He could look you in the eyes and tell you something you knew was a lie, but make you want to believe him. And it was not just me who felt this way when he lied.
Things escalated very quickly after we got married, it went from just the lies to him being controlling and manipulative. Then can the mental and emotional abuse. Then came the day where out of the blue he grabbed me by the neck, shoved me up against the wall and told me how easy it would be to snap my neck. That's when I got out, but even then it was not easy to get away. His lying then manifested itself again when he told all of my friends and family that I was a horrible person who was too insecure to be loved by a man as loving as he was, had treated him unfairly and was on a downhill slope to becoming a hooker. And guess what: even my family believed his lies for awhile.
I'm not saying all this to try to scare you, but to try to make you understand that the lying is a very, very big deal and it will get worse as time goes on, not better. If you won't leave this guy, please have a very long engagement (I'm talking 2 years at least) and live with him during that time. See what kind of behavior comes out when he is truly comfortable with you and believes he has control over you. It probably won't be pretty.