this stinks... - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 07:35 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
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this stinks...

so today I did my first hoof trimming with my mentor...it went well...he wants me to work with him daily now which made me happy...i get home and call my mom to tell her the good news as she has been ill lately...she told me the worst news I have ever....ever...gotten.....she has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer...and she does not even smoke....i am having alot of issues dealing with this right now..and to be honest..i just don't know how..even though we don't get along alot..i still love her alot and she loves me...and I cannot seem to stop crying over this...the doctors said a year or two at most is the time she has due to how extensive it is...so..i just don't know anymore..
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post #2 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 07:39 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this from you. I don't know if you are a religious person but if you are, prayers will help bring you peace.

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
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post #3 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 07:41 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by farmpony84 View Post
I'm so sorry to hear this from you. I don't know if you are a religious person but if you are, prayers will help bring you peace.
im a druid...so..different beleif system..but I have been praying...and my horses right now are the only way I feel any comfort what so ever...
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post #4 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 07:44 PM
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That really does stink! I lost my father to cancer as well. My advice to you is to stay positive (because the doctors don't know everything) and spend every minute you can with her. You won't regret spending too much time with her but you could regret not. And don't hold back saying the things you want her to know. I really feel for you, hugs
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post #5 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 07:44 PM
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Cling to what comforts you and be sure to let your mom now how very much you love her. Be there for her, and for you. And use this forum as a network so that you never feel alone.
Walkamile and redpony like this.

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
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post #6 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 08:05 PM
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That DOES stink! Life is so not fair. Feel free to rant , if it would help.
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post #7 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 08:44 PM
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I am so sorry. As Redpony and Farmpony have already said (and far better than I can), hang onto what you believe to get through and take whatever time there is and don't hold back how you feel with your mom. Now is the time to leave nothing unspoken, and you may find a deeper understanding and relationship with her. Oh, and it's normal to not always get along with your parent, but glad you love her.

My heart and prayers go out to you both.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!".
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post #8 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 09:05 PM
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Sorry to hear that. Make the most of the time you have left with her and let her make the most amount of time with you! Don't let the thought of emanate death scare you away from her. I've learned that death is sad, there will undoubtably be a void, but it can also be a beautiful thing. It's a life event, just like birth. It's hard to explain, but I went through it with my Aunt.

Another thing I found comfort in is the belief in an afterlife. I don't adhere to any religion, but I do believe in spirituality. Especially after watching the Long Island Medium, but even before that.
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post #9 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 09:11 PM
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Another thing you may want to consider is asking you mother about her wishes. Does she want life saving measures? Who is going to be her power of attorney? Is the person capable of honoring your mom's wishes if they are against her own?

It's a rough thing to talk about, but making them while there is "no pressure" now is a lot easier then making it at 3am when things are going down hill. Also make sure the whole family is on board. I've heard of many stories where families are legit fighting over whats best for their family member. One wants to left the member go, the other wants to keep them alive.... It gets very messy.
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post #10 of 23 Old 02-17-2014, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlideStop View Post
Another thing you may want to consider is asking you mother about her wishes. Does she want life saving measures? Who is going to be her power of attorney? Is the person capable of honoring your mom's wishes if they are against her own?

It's a rough thing to talk about, but making them while there is "no pressure" now is a lot easier then making it at 3am when things are going down hill. Also make sure the whole family is on board. I've heard of many stories where families are legit fighting over whats best for their family member. One wants to left the member go, the other wants to keep them alive.... It gets very messy.
I have alreeady been thinking about all of this...also...its just me my mom and my sister...thats all..and my sister is not talking to me...she is mad at me that I will not move to where my mom is to take care of her....my sister is..shes giving up her career and moving from ohio to anaheim to do it...but she's holding it against me that I can't...so...i have no other family to turn to at this point...
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