I'm under a lot of stress right now...
I'm currently working a stressful job that I commute 30 miles one way to get to. I'm looking for another job that's closer to home and is a better fit for me, but until I find one, the job hunt and interviews are just adding to the stress.
In addition to working full time, I'm doing self care and working off the cost of board at my grandfather's farm, plus working off the cost of lessons at a different barn. I clean 8 stalls, muck paddocks, clean water buckets and troughs, feed, and bring in/turn out 4 days per week at my grandfather's barn, and then clean 3 stalls and water buckets at another barn 2 days per week. My goal is to get my grandfather to hire someone to do stalls at his barn, which would eliminate the 8 stalls 4 days per week and free up a lot of time. I'd just have to pay a little board. Until then it's a nightmare trying to push the hiring process forward and keep up with all the work at the same time. I've seriously considered moving my horse to another barn and paying full board, but I'd feel awful abandoning my family, and I'd hate to take on that large of a financial burden at the moment.
On top of all that, our land lords are selling the house. We've been having showings at least once per week, which means my hubby and I have to stay on top of all the housework and keep our apartment spotless. They gave us a reduction in our rent for our troubles, but it's still a lot of work! And we have no idea if we'll still have a place to live or not once it sells...
To complicate matter's further, we were planning to buy a house in the fall, so we're scrambling to get enough money together to buy our first home ahead of schedule, so if the new owners of our house give us the boot, we're not stuck signing another year lease, and throwing another year's worth of rent money into the abyss.
On top of that my husband broke his nose and it didn't heal right. He's having a lot of trouble breathing. He has trouble sleeping because he can't breathe and I can't sleep because his nose is so darn noisy. He's been seeing a doctor about it and will likely need surgury to correct the problem.
So basically, I'm wound tight. I have no free time, not enough sleep, and a million and one things hanging over my head right now. It's starting to affect me physically. My shoulders and neck are killing me. I have chronic headaches, and intermittent upset stomach. I'm exchausted, and unable to focus. I'm turning into an alcoholic because wine is the only thing that calms me down enough to get to sleep at night.
I was having stellar dressage lessons on a second level school master until about two weeks ago. Now my riding instructor is leading me around telling me when to breathe, and reminding me not to clench every muscle in my body. She was having me do some stretches with my arms yesterday, and I ended up having muscle spasms in my back and having to get off. I haven't ridden my own horse for a week and a half. It's probably a combination of her being in mad heat, needing her teeth done, and me being so tense that make her jumpy and wound up lately. I know trying to ride her like this will only undo an entire year's worth of work. If any of you know what I went through last winter/spring with my horse, that's not helping either. She developed a bolting problem, and it took me months to get to the bottom of it. We got it all figured out, and have had some really great rides since then. She hasn't offered to bolt for nearly a year, but deep down, I still don't trust her, and that's not helping the tension problem during riding.
I need advice! I so desperately need to relax, so I can avoid making myself ill, and so I can continue to make progress in the saddle. Does anyone have any meditation exercises, or stretches, or any other tips that might help me?
I'm currently working a stressful job that I commute 30 miles one way to get to. I'm looking for another job that's closer to home and is a better fit for me, but until I find one, the job hunt and interviews are just adding to the stress.
In addition to working full time, I'm doing self care and working off the cost of board at my grandfather's farm, plus working off the cost of lessons at a different barn. I clean 8 stalls, muck paddocks, clean water buckets and troughs, feed, and bring in/turn out 4 days per week at my grandfather's barn, and then clean 3 stalls and water buckets at another barn 2 days per week. My goal is to get my grandfather to hire someone to do stalls at his barn, which would eliminate the 8 stalls 4 days per week and free up a lot of time. I'd just have to pay a little board. Until then it's a nightmare trying to push the hiring process forward and keep up with all the work at the same time. I've seriously considered moving my horse to another barn and paying full board, but I'd feel awful abandoning my family, and I'd hate to take on that large of a financial burden at the moment.
On top of all that, our land lords are selling the house. We've been having showings at least once per week, which means my hubby and I have to stay on top of all the housework and keep our apartment spotless. They gave us a reduction in our rent for our troubles, but it's still a lot of work! And we have no idea if we'll still have a place to live or not once it sells...
To complicate matter's further, we were planning to buy a house in the fall, so we're scrambling to get enough money together to buy our first home ahead of schedule, so if the new owners of our house give us the boot, we're not stuck signing another year lease, and throwing another year's worth of rent money into the abyss.
On top of that my husband broke his nose and it didn't heal right. He's having a lot of trouble breathing. He has trouble sleeping because he can't breathe and I can't sleep because his nose is so darn noisy. He's been seeing a doctor about it and will likely need surgury to correct the problem.
So basically, I'm wound tight. I have no free time, not enough sleep, and a million and one things hanging over my head right now. It's starting to affect me physically. My shoulders and neck are killing me. I have chronic headaches, and intermittent upset stomach. I'm exchausted, and unable to focus. I'm turning into an alcoholic because wine is the only thing that calms me down enough to get to sleep at night.
I was having stellar dressage lessons on a second level school master until about two weeks ago. Now my riding instructor is leading me around telling me when to breathe, and reminding me not to clench every muscle in my body. She was having me do some stretches with my arms yesterday, and I ended up having muscle spasms in my back and having to get off. I haven't ridden my own horse for a week and a half. It's probably a combination of her being in mad heat, needing her teeth done, and me being so tense that make her jumpy and wound up lately. I know trying to ride her like this will only undo an entire year's worth of work. If any of you know what I went through last winter/spring with my horse, that's not helping either. She developed a bolting problem, and it took me months to get to the bottom of it. We got it all figured out, and have had some really great rides since then. She hasn't offered to bolt for nearly a year, but deep down, I still don't trust her, and that's not helping the tension problem during riding.
I need advice! I so desperately need to relax, so I can avoid making myself ill, and so I can continue to make progress in the saddle. Does anyone have any meditation exercises, or stretches, or any other tips that might help me?