Struggling with friendship

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > General Off Topic Discussion

Struggling with friendship

This is a discussion on Struggling with friendship within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

LinkBack Thread Tools
    12-04-2012, 01:26 AM
Struggling with friendship

Does anyone have a person in their life that you want to be friends with, and you try, but there just isn't any connection going?

There is this woman that I have known for about 4 years now, we met because she offered babysitting in her home and after interviewing her and what not, I let her keep my little girl. She only watched her for about two years, until she started preschool, but we stayed in touch. She's a very nice, very caring person...she has two kids (15 and 6) that are just the sweetest kids ever, her youngest and my daughter are good friends, her husband and mine get along great and we have them over fairly often to cook out...or we're invited to their house. When everyone is together it's all fine and good, but she's asked off and on to meet up for lunch or whatever, and that's where the issue is. I've met with her several times, and we just have nothing to talk about. We have zero in common. I have tried to include her in some of my daily outings or even go out for mani/pedis, just anything really, and it's like she'll just never answer. She has made comments about me working out and how we should work out together, and I'm like yeah...come on, let's do it...but then it never happens. It's getting to a point that I really don't care to be around her one-on-one, it's just uncomfortable.

There are lots of other nit-picky things that I could go on about, but that's the major of it. I'm just confused I guess, too, on what kind of friendship she wants with me. Part of me wonders if she wants a friendship, but then she'll asks me to do things with her. Normally even when said day comes it just doesn't happen. I'll text her and she never replies, and here I am with time set aside to do something with her when I could be out riding my horse or shopping or whatever.
Sponsored Links
    12-04-2012, 01:37 AM
Sometimes I've found that if a friendship is no longer mutually beneficial that it will fizzle's awkward, but deep down inside you are both going to probably breath a sigh of relief when you quit trying to forge a friendship 'just because'......

The only friendships I tend to keep going are the ones with my horsey pals where we can actually do other stuff without talking about horses or riding and still have fun!

And of course there are a few of the near and dears who we never forget or lose touch with
    12-04-2012, 02:00 AM
It sounds like you're all enjoying the group outings. Maybe she feels obligated to try and socialize with you one-on-one?
    12-04-2012, 02:07 AM
I have found that trying to be friendly w people that I have nothing in common with is a chore, why bother? There is no excuse for poor manners, either. To set a date to do "x" and not have it materialize w/o a reason it just inconsiderate and rude. IMO, you should skip struggling to be friends w this individual.
    12-04-2012, 12:48 PM
I have thought that maybe she felt obligated to try and do something alone, but I don't know. I know that in the beginning I really did want to try to get to know her one-on-one, I figured that I could find one thing that we could at least talk about, but there is just nothing there. I guess it bothers me because I'm the type that can talk to anyone. I'm not this big bright and bubbly personality that knows no stranger, but I have never had any issues talking to people and finding some common interest no matter how small it is. And we do have some common interests, but getting her to talk about anything when it's just us is a struggle. It's almost like she needs her family around to make her secure enough to open up. It's not even opening up about personal things, it could just be about her dogs.

But yeah, it is starting to feel like a chore and I don't like it. And standing me up for stuff is about on my last nerve. That is really why all of this is on my mind. She and I were supposed to take the kids to a movie Sunday, she called and asked me if I would like to go. I actually had loose plans to do something else if the weather was nice, but I told her that I would go and I would take her to this daquiri place after that she's been asking me about. Sunday comes and I wait and wait. I text her. She text me back and asked me what I wanted to see and what time, I text her back what my DD would sit through (she's 4) and told her times and I never heard nothing back. I still haven't heard from her. I'm just so aggravated, and venting. Normally with anyone else I would just cut the "friendship" off and be done, but when it's our families combined it's really nice.
    12-04-2012, 01:30 PM
Green Broke
That is just very weird. But none of us knows what goes on behind the closed doors of other people's lives. Building a friendship can be quite trying,especially when the other person is sending mixed signals. What happened on Sunday is very confusing.

Quick Reply
Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
For those of us who are struggling Golden Horse Plus Sized Riders 15 07-23-2012 11:12 AM
Struggling With Jumping Confidence. Lis English Riding 5 12-17-2011 08:18 PM
Downward transitions....I'm struggling a bit Heelsdown Horse Riding 12 09-18-2011 09:12 PM
Really struggling! emzilouu Horse Training 10 07-13-2011 06:51 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:27 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0