Originally Posted by HeroMyOttb
Flytobecat- Did you are any of your family feel guilt? That if you did something different then the loved would not of done it?
First, let me say that I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. I echo the sentiment that there was nothing you could have done. Substance abuse SUCKS and makes people do things they would never do, if not impaired. I think everyone feels some degree of "What could I" or "If only I could have done X than I could have stopped him.". More often than not, it's simply not true. Those who are truly driven to suicide many times will not let on to anyone what they are planning. Especially in the case of the addicted, they have withdrawn and sometimes cut themselves off from their family/support system so thoroughly that the thought that the person might commit suicide has never crossed the family's minds.
It's a huge tragedy and it's not uncommon. The worst part, IMO, is that the suicidal person's pain on earth is over but his loved one's pain has just begun. There is no good answer for the family/friends who have suffered such loss.
The family member in my family who suicided never let on. Not even his therapist had an indication. He was bipolar but had been very well controlled on meds, was extremely intelligent, worked for one of the big genetics labs in the San Francisco area doing research and was in charge of an entire research team. The team never knew. His wife's first inclination that there was trouble was when the police showed up at the door. Since he commuted to work during the week and came home on weekends, no one knew that he'd had a crash in his moods. It was over and done with before anyone even knew there was a problem.
Some professions are known for high suicide rates, cops/deputies commit suicide a lot. I've been in those funerals and most of them the reaction is stunned disbelief. Until the person who kills himself doesn't show up for work, no one knows a thing.