My friend told me that the pain of the person who committed suicide never goes away, its just transferred to other people. Which I exactly like you said. And it's 100% true. My whole family is devastated. My father is very very bad. Which I have never in my life seen my father cry until this past month. My mom, my sister, and I are bad as well. Just so hard to lose someone you have known your entire life.
My 10 year old nephew found my brother in the outside screen porch. My nephew and grandparents said he was acting completely fine hours before the incident. Except he sent my mother a disturbing message saying how he was lost, and needs to be around good people. So other then that message, we really did not have a clue. My brother has been in some low points in his life but came back from them. He did not seem like he was in one of his low points.
Oh dear. I am so sorry for your whole family. And a little extra for the 10 year old who had to find him. I hope you are all seeing a grief counselor, and if you're not, I highly recommend it. It won't make it all better or go away but will give you help with dealing with the pain, guilt, anger, angst and all the stuff that comes with this kind of death.
It's very hard because you feel like there's so much unfinished business, like you're left holding the bag. You didn't get to say "I love you" or any of the things you feel you've needed to say. You all really need to support each other and talk to each other a lot right now. Don't shut down and withdraw from each other. Reach out to a preacher, a priest, a counselor, a best friend. Because after awhile, you will feel like you need to go on but if you shut down, then you won't be sure how to get started with life again. Right now, you're kind of just stuck in shock, disbelief and pain, but eventually that will start to let up and it will be time to move forward. You'll never forget your brother, but keep him in your heart and concentrate on the great times you've had with, not on this sad, sad ending.