Suicide loss - Page 8 - The Horse Forum
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post #71 of 74 Old 08-28-2013, 01:21 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Colorado
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My brother also committed suicide. He was the baby of the family, and he was beautiful. Tall, very handsome, very clever. He was ADORED by my parents. He never was required to take responsibility for his actions - given everything my sister and I had to work for (first car, insurance, etc). He grew older and never grew up. He would wreck his car, they'd get him a new one. Paid his insurance, paid his phone, bought him food and clothes. He bummed off my parents for fifteen years past high school, did drugs, grew dreadlocks in his hair, worked jobs until he didn't - eventually my parents got fed up and tried to kick him out. He told them he would be gone in the morning. They left for the weekend and he hung himself in my parents garage.

His girlfriend found him.

He was 36.

I am sorry to hear of your loss - I was very upset at my brother. Now, years later - I realize he was just completely lost and didn't know how to start over. It was just easier to opt out. Your pain will subside and you'll remember all the good times without it being tinged with other feelings.... best of luck to you.

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. - Nelson Mandela
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post #72 of 74 Old 08-29-2013, 07:27 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Thank you Ace, I'm sorry to hear about my your loss as well.

I will see how my life unravels.

I talked to my counselor center at my school and they are very supportive and are willing to help me get involved in programs and help me create my own group at college.

So atleast i'm glad I have a large support system back at my college.

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Chad Barnes 6-16-85~7-22-13
Hero Act - Thoroughbred Gelding ~ Gunner - Quarter Horse Gelding ~ John Deere - Mini Gelding
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post #73 of 74 Old 04-15-2014, 01:30 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Just giving a quick update on this topic about me. It's been about 9 months since my brother passed from suicide. I gained 60 pounds in 4 months. And almost failed all my classes my first semester back at college. Some how I was able to get my grades up. Now currently i'm doing well in school. I'm graduating this may. I still obviously have problems with my brother's death. But I'm on the track of healing. I've lost 16 pounds, so I'm on the right track there.

And becoming an advocate for both suicide prevention and organ donation. I have a lot events I go to for my brother but they are very emotional. Even though I slip in and out of depression I feel like i'm on the right track to healing.

Chad Barnes 6-16-85~7-22-13
Hero Act - Thoroughbred Gelding ~ Gunner - Quarter Horse Gelding ~ John Deere - Mini Gelding
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post #74 of 74 Old 04-15-2014, 07:31 PM
Join Date: Sep 2013
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I almost died in junior in highschool...not exactly suicide but I was so sad I lost all hope, and stopped caring for myself. I'm jewish and I went to a school with not a lot of jewish people. I lived in a bad neighbourhood, and my mother wouldn't find work. All these criminals started approaching me and saying nasty things to me. I was also sexually harassed online, and almost kidnapped. Eventually I couldn't eat anymore, and I became really ill. I almost died. I knew I was going to die, but I didn't do anything about it. I tried a little, but I coudln't go on anymore. I dont know if that's considered suicide. No doctor knew what was wrong with me or wanted to help me. Eventually one said I had thinning of the nerves or something like that, but that's not a diagnosis in north america. Basically I withered into death. It was sad.
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