Originally Posted by squirrelfood
That's often called child abuse now.
AHa, see there we are..
What I considered discipline, a whack on the hand or backside, is now called abuse.
What I call plain speaking and hard truths is now called harassment and bullying
Terms that were descriptive, eg. Black sheep of the family, are now racist.
My mother letting me play outside from first light to dusk, letting me explore and discover the world, would now be neglect.
But in that time of discipline, rules, and not having to watch every word less one offends someone, I grew and developed, and learned to work for what wanted, and also found the consequences of getting it wrong.
When I didn't win I was told it was because I was not good enough, so I could choose to work harder and get better or quit.
Aghh I don't know I guess I got lucky with my parents, I knew the difference between them not liking my behaviour and not liking me, and that is what so often is missing from this sort of thing.
People say they are being attacked, but what is being commented on so often are your actions, not YOU, and there is a huge difference, and that is what is missing online. I can tell my friend that she is being an idiot, doesn't mean we are not friends any more, just that I don't like that one thing she is doing. Online we don't know anyone, so people take things so very personally.
If I say that ohh lets see "You shouldn't have bred your mare because now you say you can't afford a vet" I'm not saying that YOU ARE A HORRIBLE WORTHLESS PERSON, what I am saying is that you have made a decision, a bad one, and I don't like that,you maybe a perfectly nice person.
I'm struggling to put this into the written word, but just stop taking things so personally people,
1) Often it is your actions that are being criticised, not you as a person, it's different.
2) Not one of us is right all the time, and if we don't have our mistakes pointed out to us, how do we improve?
3) In any one thread, being as we are horse people there will be a minimum of 3 different opinions on any one subject, it is up to the reader to find balance in the spread of replies, not up to each responder to give balance in each of their replies.
4) It's the internet, you are getting a global view, remember different cultures do things differently, explain things differently, and even view things differently.
5) It's the internet, walk away, switch off, go take a walk, use the ignore feature, or maybe read, decide not it does or doesn't apply to you, and then file in the appropriate place.
Remember you are dealing with a lot of horse nuts here, the sort of people who will happily wear shoes with holes in, so dobbin can have new shoes, who will forgo all sorts of things so the horses are fed well, vetted when needed and live a good life. This is normal behaviour to a lot of people.