For those of you who have been "bashed" on any threads - Page 7 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #61 of 65 Old 04-19-2014, 12:42 PM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13,224
• Horses: 2
Originally Posted by squirrelfood View Post
That's often called child abuse now.
AHa, see there we are..

What I considered discipline, a whack on the hand or backside, is now called abuse.

What I call plain speaking and hard truths is now called harassment and bullying

Terms that were descriptive, eg. black sheep of the family, are now racist.

My mother letting me play outside from first light to dusk, letting me explore and discover the world, would now be neglect.

But in that time of discipline, rules, and not having to watch every word less one offends someone, I grew and developed, and learned to work for what wanted, and also found the consequences of getting it wrong.

When I didn't win I was told it was because I was not good enough, so I could choose to work harder and get better or quit.

Aghh I don't know I guess I got lucky with my parents, I knew the difference between them not liking my behaviour and not liking me, and that is what so often is missing from this sort of thing.

People say they are being attacked, but what is being commented on so often are your actions, not YOU, and there is a huge difference, and that is what is missing online. I can tell my friend that she is being an idiot, doesn't mean we are not friends any more, just that I don't like that one thing she is doing. Online we don't know anyone, so people take things so very personally.

If I say that ohh lets see "You shouldn't have bred your mare because now you say you can't afford a vet" I'm not saying that YOU ARE A HORRIBLE WORTHLESS PERSON, what I am saying is that you have made a decision, a bad one, and I don't like that,you maybe a perfectly nice person.

I'm struggling to put this into the written word, but just stop taking things so personally people,

1) Often it is your actions that are being criticised, not you as a person, it's different.

2) Not one of us is right all the time, and if we don't have our mistakes pointed out to us, how do we improve?

3) In any one thread, being as we are horse people there will be a minimum of 3 different opinions on any one subject, it is up to the reader to find balance in the spread of replies, not up to each responder to give balance in each of their replies.

4) It's the internet, you are getting a global view, remember different cultures do things differently, explain things differently, and even view things differently.

5) It's the internet, walk away, switch off, go take a walk, use the ignore feature, or maybe read, decide not it does or doesn't apply to you, and then file in the appropriate place.

6) IMPORTANTLY, Remember you are dealing with a lot of horse nuts here, the sort of people who will happily wear shoes with holes in, so dobbin can have new shoes, who will forgo all sorts of things so the horses are fed well, vetted when needed and live a good life. This is normal behaviour to a lot of people.
Golden Horse is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #62 of 65 Old 04-19-2014, 12:50 PM
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 573
• Horses: 0
This was my upbringing as well. There's another thread going on about the choice to have children- a huge part of my not liking kids is because they are so undisciplined.

I got spanked, probably not as much as I deserved. I spent my childhood outside, in the woods, building forts, shooting a bow and arrow, four wheeling, riding, etc. Now when I babysit, all kids want to do is play on their ipad or watch Netflix. The word "No" starts world war three.

We are all encouraged to have our own opinions, but disagreeing with someone is considered a personal offense, even harassment. So we are supposed to have our own opinions, as long as we agree with everyone. Because, if someone disagrees or gives us advice we need to hear, that means they hate us (heavy sarcasm). Oh, people these days. I can't imagine spending as much energy as some people do being offended. I was born in the wrong generation! I am a firm believer in tough love. I think it's the best kind.

"But I can tell you this: When you get to square ten, all of square one will be in it." RayHunt
EquineObsessed is offline  
post #63 of 65 Old 04-19-2014, 01:43 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,469
• Horses: 3
It's the only love that matters
blue eyed pony and boots like this.
squirrelfood is offline  
post #64 of 65 Old 04-20-2014, 08:38 AM
Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SW UK
Posts: 10,929
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by squirrelfood View Post
It's the only love that matters
Ah, but often love has to be tough!

I do know that as children we were never inside. Sent out to play whatever the weather just to get rid of our energy.

Children are not allowed to do this nowadays. People worry about pedophiles, chances are remote and back when every adult looked out over any child whether they knew them or not, things were safer. Now if an adult does say something then they are slated for it either by the children or their parents.

Personally that is not something I would worry about, my concern would be the traffic which is far heavier and faster than it was when we were riding our bikes here there and everywhere.

Life has changed and not necessarily for the better.
Palomine and boots like this.
Foxhunter is offline  
post #65 of 65 Old 04-21-2014, 05:18 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Missouri
Posts: 3,771
• Horses: 3
Originally Posted by tinyliny View Post

I'm kind of laughing to imagine you even blunter in real life!

Oh I am, very much so, and don't pull punches.

My best friend of almost 30 years now, used to tell people, do NOT ask her what she thinks about something because she is going to tell you exactly what she thinks, and you may get your feelings hurt.

And honestly, when someone is being a fool, telling them plainly is much better than *****footing around the matter.

And sometimes I will tell a person, do you want me to commiserate, or tell you how I really feel, I can do either.

Also tell them "I think you are messing up here...but if you want to go ahead I will support you and defend you, but I will still be saying I TOLD you you were messing up."

MaMaw, a dear friend in her mid 90's at time she died, was my idol. One time her adopted granddaughter was telling her yet another tale of woe about her idiot spouse at time.

MaMaw looked at her and said "J, you always were inclined to sorriness."

Which summed J up in a nutshell too.
Speed Racer likes this.

Horses make me a better person.
Palomine is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome