Totally Stressing! Many Decisions Lie Ahead... - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 16 Old 02-01-2013, 11:16 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
I was actually hoping to keep up my riding during school. I know it will be hard, but I think it will be worth it. Maybe. I have these two horses at home, actually, but I just worry because my parents aren't horse people really.

The third horse, my instructor at home might consider free boarding in exchange for lessons. This girl that wants me to move in with her - well, she does the same thing with her horse. So hopefully I could do that. I do not plan on working 20-25 hours a week at university. I do plan to join the newspaper or the broadcasting club, and of course, horse club. I plan to do internships over break. We'll see.

And...uh...squeamish isn't exactly the right word. Downright panic would be how I was, extremely uncomfortable and tense is how I am now. It's not the vomit, it's the fact that I could throw up. Yeah, I don't want a cold or strep throat, but those things happen. The stomach flu is a whole other story.

But Saddlebag, you may be very right about everything and I value your insight.

Also, I don't want compliments because I'm not confident. I want compliments because I deserve them.

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
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post #12 of 16 Old 02-02-2013, 01:03 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 40,589
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have you ever read the book , "the Glass Castle"? it is an amazing book about a woman who grew up in a bit of a crazy family situation, where she had almost not control of her life. Her father's instability kept yanking the rug out from under her every time she started to put down roots. Eventually, through her own determination, she went to college and became a journalist for the New York Times. Read this book. It's amazing and a true story.

She didn't have to deal with taking medications to balance crippling anxiety, but she had a lot of challenges.

I have a son who benefits hugely from medication for anxiety. He can function without it, but functions better with it, so takes it . Still, he needs a bit more support from family than a typical man of his age. Oh well, so be it. He'll get there, and so will you. Gotta sometimes let the river flow, even if it doesn't feel like it's moving at all, or if you are terrified of the rapids. You can't stop it, but you sure can wear yourself out trying.
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post #13 of 16 Old 02-02-2013, 09:39 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
I'll definitely read it! Tinyliny, you have been so helpful, thank you!

My family is not unsupportive, but I feel like I get left out a lot. My brother is 12 and he has lots of anxiety and behavioral problems, and my mom spends a lot of time with him as my dad doesn't have the patience or the want to spend time with him. She can't come to my riding lesson this morning to take pictures or shoot video of me because she has to take my brother bowling for bowling lessons. I've learned there's really nothing I can do about it, though, and while it makes me upset sometimes, I've gotten a lot more independent.

I'm fortunate that my anxiety and the depression I got from it is manageable now, thanks to counseling, medication, and my horses too.

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
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post #14 of 16 Old 02-02-2013, 06:37 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,403
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Honestly, especially since you did tell me about some of this stuff before, i would say move in alone. If you truly don't want to be around sick people, the best way to do it is be by your self. I am not really sure what to say about the rest.

I may seem small, but if you mess with my horse, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.
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post #15 of 16 Old 02-03-2013, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: North central Iowa
Posts: 1,199
• Horses: 2
I talked to my friend today - she magically appeared at riding lessons! The place has 3 separate bedrooms, a washer and dryer, and TWO bathrooms, which would made me feel a lot better, just in the case that someone does get sick, I could use the other bathroom. I am going down next Saturday to look at the apartment and meet her friend and will go from there.

Initially, I was stuck on living alone. You couldn't have changed my mind. But I find myself pondering pros and cons. If I could get myself through this anxiety stuff, which has been very manageable to where I have a normal life everyday since this past summer, I think I could go for it. I would feel comfortable having people around - as much as I enjoy being alone sometimes, I feel like living in my own apartment will take some opportunities away to be social and make friends. Also, it is nice to have people that would look out for you - like, say if I didn't arrive home one night, there would be someone to look for me. Extreme, but true. And of course, it would cut down my costs a ton, rent and other house stuff.

On the flip side, if I'm feeling a little anxious, I like to be alone and watch my soap opera and take a nap on the couch. I could pick out my own decor. No one else would be sick in my apartment because I would be the only one that would be there. There wouldn't be any problems with doing chores or bedtime (but my friend goes to bed earlier than I do, and I like to go to bed early, so that may not be an issue).

Just so everyone knows, I'm not disagreeing with what anyone has suggested. I'm just trying to weigh my pros and cons and get my thoughts out and just listen to advice from either side and weigh that into my decision-making process.

Rusty - a miracle horse Knight - my golden oldie
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post #16 of 16 Old 02-03-2013, 12:21 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 4,840
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If you think you might ever have your own family-learning how to live w/others is important. I had a couple of roommates when first starting out on my own. It taught me a lot. Being alone also has problems, but I can do either if it becomes necessary. Life is change & we have very little control on so many life changing factors. A few good friends are the best part of life. A lot of the things we worry about never come to pass, but we still need life plans & some kind of goal to strive for. I think the church lady does see you in a very positive way-you could be the ray of sunshine in her life.
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