Ugh.
   

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Ugh.

This is a discussion on Ugh. within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
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        04-18-2010, 12:02 AM
      #1
    Yearling
    Angry Ugh.

    Okay, so, I need to vent. ._.
    This is seriously long. . . So if you read, COOKIES :)
    We got a new instructor, Laura. My BO asked me specifically to ride Roger in her lesson, test her out, and then give her some feedback at the end of the lesson. So I agreed, tacked up Roger (on a sidenote... HE IS FINALLY ACCEPTING THE BIT! YAY ) and took him down to the small ring. She was VERY nice, not denying that, but she was just frustrating me.
    First, she calls me into the center of the ring, and tells me that I am sitting back too much. (My pony was bucking a lot today, so I was just being cautious.) I try to explain to her, because she hasn't met Roger or me before, why I'm sitting back, but she just tells me he won't buck (about 10.5 seconds later, he bucked huge and almost chucked me, btw.), and I need to calm down, and sets me back out. A minute later, she calls me in again, this time, telling me I need to sit back because he is going to buck. What. The. Hell.
    So, at this point, I'm a little annoyed, but nothing big, & I go back out to the rail. She was completely tearing my riding apart, every little thing, and that was reallyy pissing me off, because my pony's really hard & he was perfect by the end of the lesson. So I should've left that lesson VERY proud, happy, & content. I left angry, annoyed, and dissapointed in myself. I don't want to EVER leave a good, productive lesson feeling like that again.
    Also, we were cantering, & to get me to "sit deeper in my saddle" she kept telling me to 'hold onto the front of my saddle.' I used to do this as a beginner, when I was trotting without stirrups, but seriously, at the canter, on a GREEN PONY? That's crazy. I talked to my BO about this afterward, and she agreed with me, because I need my hands to hold him back when he gets fast, or to give him a little tickle when he yanks his head down, ect. That also just pissed me off and I was a little confused and felt a bit unsafe in her lesson after that.
    To make matters worse; I like to vent my feelings, so, I write on FB (not being specific) "Great lesson considering my pony was great, love him. Not such a great time." and then my friend, Marissa, who rides with me and left the lesson feeling like I did, and I, got in a conversation about what had happened in the lesson in the comment section. I later get a PM from my hunter coach, reprimanding me for writing about this on facebook.. Which just frustrated me, and upset me, and made me feel a little guilty. . . I mean, I guess I was a little wrong, because I'm sure it's hard to come to a new barn, but that lesson was just frustrating and I never want to have to ride in a lesson like that again. .
         
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        04-18-2010, 12:44 PM
      #2
    Super Moderator
    I've taken lessons around 8 years now and come across with different instructors during that time (had just a quick count and got at least 8 different instructors who have taught me more or given at least few lessons and then few more occasional instructors, 3 major instructors) so also I've suffered from pain like that too and think I've a some kind of view about that:

    I see different instructors can have different ways to teach and also content of their teaching can vary a bit because everyone has their typical way to ride, also instructors. When meeting a new instructor, I'd advise you to take her or his critique as a mirror and ask if that critique offers some new views to your riding. Does it reveal some things that you can improve but you/your previous instructor haven't noticed? On the other hand, like I said it can also be because people comprehend riding a bit different way. If you finally end up, after summing all sides of the situation, to it that the instructor's way to teach isn't something you're looking for and you don't feel comfortable with it, change the situation. If it's possible, go back to your previous instructor or have a new instructor who comprehends riding pretty same way as you and your previous instructor. It can also be because of the person; all people just don't get along.

    About the Facebook thing, I'd be pretty careful with that. Did you give out names or precise descriptions about the situation? Personally I've taken an attitude that if you couldn't "announce it loudly in the middle of a fairground in a fair" you shouldn't publish it on Facebook because it's almost that public there too. On the other hand, if you just talked about that in general without revealing details or names I don't see there's any reason to scold you.

    Hope your next ride will be more enjoyable.
         
        04-18-2010, 12:56 PM
      #3
    Yearling
    Well, see, she wasn't a good instructor. She wasn't teaching me anything; she was conflicting what she wanted me to do, first, she tells me NOT to sit back, and then yells at me for not sitting back, which she told me to do, which made no sense. I might try her again, give her another chance, but I just really hated her
         
        04-18-2010, 01:26 PM
      #4
    Super Moderator
    Perhaps she had her reasons why she first asked you not to sit back and then sit back? If she for example wanted to start in zero; see how you'd go with Roger in a basic seat even you know he bucks and wanted to sit back because of that? Then she noticed he bucks and decided it's better you sit back like you said to? Etc etc. Even I know that feels frustrating anyways, I've also met some instructors who've gotten on my nerves (for example that one who tried to force me canter. I was at a tender age, fifteen, then and besides that afraid of cantering because I was and am pretty timid rider and knew the horse had a habit to bolt and start to buck when cantering. I told I didn't want to do it or if she could lunge me when cantering but she told I'm "already a big girl" and "I should do that" which made me almost burst into tears since I was just so afraid. You can believe she hasn't got in my 'favorite instructors' list).

    Trying her lessons second time sounds like a good plan. If you don't still like her, try to have another instructor.
         
        04-18-2010, 09:40 PM
      #5
    Started
    I had a lesson once with an instructor who I thought was insane. She had me cantering (on a VERY safe horse) and told me to lean back as far as I could and hold it, practically on my back.
    Turns out my hips were disaligned, and she wanted to prove it by getting them into a position that would force them to be 'equal'.
    This has nothing to do with what you were saying, but instructors tend to do things for a reason... maybe sit down with her and talk to her about it face to face?
    I do sympathise with you though, around here it is WAY too easy to get certified, and it's rare to find a good instructor, keep positive! (:
         
        04-18-2010, 11:21 PM
      #6
    Yearling
    Wow. O_O
    She had a reason, but she was being stupid, too. My pony is very green & cantering one handed is NOT safe on him at ALL.
         

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