VENTING! BF was snooping on my phone - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:05 PM Thread Starter
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VENTING! BF was snooping on my phone


woke up this morning to find out my bf had snooped on my phone last night while i was asleep. i know what state i left my phone in last night - no apps running and on the home screen.

wake up to my text messages open, and the text conversation between me and my best friend open.

only my bf and my kid were home. kid knows there is hell to pay if she touches my phone without permission, and she stays sleeping all night anyway. only other person at home besides me (i sleep like a stone!) was the bf.

what would you do, what would you say? i give him no reason at all to not trust me, or suspect me of anything. heck, he spends nearly all his free time with me as it is.

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post #2 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:07 PM
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Ask him about it instead of fuming inside.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:44 PM Thread Starter
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I am going to ask him about it, and have had a fb message drafted and ready to hit send. just thought i'd get the collective thoughts from y'all on the forum beforehand. thought maybe at least one of you (how many thousands of members are on here? lol) had gone through this and might have some insight on how best to handle it. i've never had to deal with this with a sig other before.
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post #4 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:47 PM
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Why is it such a big deal? Lock your phone if you don't want him snooping.
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post #5 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:47 PM
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Exactly. Ask him about it. If you don't, it's only going to boil inside until you explode about it.

Also, do you have something to hide? If you did not, you shouldn't be angry he looked at your phone because there shouldn't be anything to hide......

It my husband wants to look at my phone, or me at his, we're both open books. We have no reason to look at each others phone, but we have had the conversation (discussing other couples who are having trust troubles) and we both agreed neither if us have a problem if one looks at the others phone. We have open communication like that.
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post #6 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:48 PM
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A Facebook message? Are you kindling me? Grow some balls (or boobs) and talk to him.

This is why we have so many relationships in divorce. People "communicate" through a text message or FB.

What happened to TALKING?
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post #7 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:51 PM
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I can understand why you are mad, because he should trust you unless you've given him a reason not too. Me and my boyfriend are open books with each other but I don't go snooping through his phone and conversations and he doesn't mine, to me it's a respect thing. Just because we're dating doesn't mean we can't have friends. But that's my opinion.
I would TALK to him. Facebook, really? No. Talk to him face to face. Just polietly ask him "Did you go through my phone? And if you did why did you feel the need to do so?"....that will go much better than facebooking him.....

morganarab94 is offline  
post #8 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:57 PM
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No no no, don't assume. Ask him if he did and then instead of blowing up at him just say you'd appreciate if he wouldn't do that.

Communication is key... as is trust.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #9 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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i'm at work and this has been bugging me all day. i felt the need to ask him about it sooner than later, and we do a lot of communicating via fb as it is.

i've just never had to deal with a sig other snooping before. this is a brand new thing to me.

i have nothing to hide, and there is no reason he should not trust me. we've been dating about a year now.

as morganarab94 said, it's a respect thing. if he wanted to look at my texts, he can ask me and i will hand my phone over to him. i don't have anything to hide from him, and i would hope that is the same in reverse. it's the snooping aspect of it all that makes me irate.
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post #10 of 38 Old 07-25-2013, 06:38 PM
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So, just gonna throw this out there. Are you SURE it wasn't you? I only ask because twice now I have woken up and had a text message TYPED OUT and ready to send to my boyfriend. They were dreamland texts and thus made no sense (they made awesome sense to me in my dream), and were just a jumble of half finished sentences and words, but still. :)
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