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What am I supposed to say to my dad?

2K views 24 replies 10 participants last post by  lildonkey8 
#1 ·
I haven't heard from my dad for about 3 weeks. I'm done with him. (For anyone that doesn't know what's happening..I haven't seen my dad in like 8 years. I visited him 3 times after he suddenly wanted to be back into my life). I left my riding boots at his place, and I want them back. My aunt has offered to call him up and drive me over to pick them up. What should I say to him? I DON'T want to continue seeing him. I have been hurt enough from him.

He's going ask me why I want them. He doesn't know that I have a lesson scheduled with another horse stable. He's going to be VERY mad.
 
#2 ·
The truth is the only way out of a situation like this. If you can't be truthful to people, then you can't be truthful to yourself. Cause your lying to him makes you lie to yourself. Just remember that and you'll know what to do. And you'll do what's right.
 
#5 ·
I think that the truth is the best way to go.

You don't need to answer that if you don't feel so, but is there something happened or did he just cut out keeping in touch with you?
 
#6 · (Edited)
Pretty much he decided to see me and my sisters after the judge threw him in jail. He has the right to see us every other Saturday. I felt like he wanted to be a part of our lives, and I've always wanted a dad. So we saw him 3 times. On all 3 of those visits we had fun. I got the flu and couldn't see him one weekend. I called him and let him know and he said that he would call the next day to see how we are doing. I said that maybe we could see eachother sometime during the week. I called him, and he wouldn't answer. Then I called him a few days later- no answer. It's been like 3 weeks. I don't know why he won't answer the phone. My mom had talked to him and he was saying how he can see us whenever he wants, and that she has to drive us over there. (Which is not true, because it says that he has to pick us up and drop us off) I heard that whole conversation, because he was like screaming. My mom told him that he can call me anytime. (Which I've told him many times). He has my cell phone number and the home phone number.

A few years ago, I had made an attempt to get him back into our lives. I invited him to my soccer game and he came to it. That's it.

I just am sick of being hurt by him. I used to cry almost every night. I'm sick of calling him and not getting answered. Why can't he be a man and just tell me??

I'm done with him. He doesn't deserve me. I already called another horse stable and they are awesome people. I just want my riding boots back. He's going to give me a hard time.

And please no one tell me to give him another chance. I can't give out anymore.

So what do I do? call him? have my aunt drive me there? I don't know what to do. Should I just have my mom deal with it?
 
#10 ·
Other than the obvious "ick" factor of other people borrowing your boots, I'm not sure why that matters. If someone's wearing them when you show up, march right up and tell them to take them off their feet.

You don't have to say anything about why you want them back. It's a pair of shoes. Just tell him you want to wear them to school if he actually presses it.
 
#11 ·
You guys are right..I'm making a big deal of this. I do have a hard time with people wearing my shoes..I don't know why.

It's going to be easy to get the boots back..but I don't know what to say to him. "Dad, I don't want to see you anymore." Is that all?
 
#12 ·
You don't even have to say that. Just collect your shoes and say "Bye Dad, see you later."

Saying that doesn't mean you need to see him later, it just means you can get away from him then. If he tries to contact you in the future, tell him "Not now" or "No thanks".

(I also would not be happy about people using my shoes without permission. Yuck)
 
#13 ·
Without knowing the whole picture it's hard to give any advice but my thoughts on it are this. You only have one dad. There may come a time in your life that a man steps in and fills that spot, even showers you with love and attention and this man may be the best thing to ever happen to you but that other guy, the one you don't want to see anymore, he's your still your dad. I think it might be in your best interest to leave it as an amicable split. Just pick up the boots and say goodnight. Then you can shut the door without locking it, because someday, you might want to open it again.... you know?
 
#14 ·
Without knowing the whole picture it's hard to give any advice but my thoughts on it are this. You only have one dad. There may come a time in your life that a man steps in and fills that spot, even showers you with love and attention and this man may be the best thing to ever happen to you but that other guy, the one you don't want to see anymore, he's your still your dad. I think it might be in your best interest to leave it as an amicable split. Just pick up the boots and say goodnight. Then you can shut the door without locking it, because someday, you might want to open it again.... you know?
Yeah I know what you mean.
 
#15 ·
Well, as someone who has been in this situation with a dad I would tell him, tell him he hurts your feelings when he comes in and out of your life, tell him it breaks your heart to give your love to him and be ignored, tell him you can't continue to do it, that it's not healthy for you. Then take your boots home babe and remember that he is an adult, he helped make you and he needs to start freaking acting like it.
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#18 ·
I think Farmopony and AB have a good tip to offer to you. Tho I understand if you don't want to see him just now.

As to the riding boots, you can say that you just need them or then not provide an explanation at all. I don't see why your dad would be insulted if you need your riding boots somewhere else.
 
#20 ·
You can not say you called all the time when you only left one message. People forget things. It does not mean they do not care, it just means they forgot. I forget things all the time. I remember them at times I am not able to follow through (like in the shower, I am always remembering I need to call someone back when I am in the shower).

I see nothing wrong with you not dropping things to go over to your fathers.

I just want you to not look at him through the eyes of two people who hate him. Adults are stupid that way. They do not realize what they are doing to kids when they push their hate off on to them.


Call your father, tell him that you forgot and left your riding boots at his place and can he please find a way to get them back to you. No reason to say anything more than that.

As far as Wednesday goes, if it is your mothers day off then you can spend part of the day with your mother and part of the day with your father. Do you really think he picked Wednesday to be malicious? To me that is how your post sounds - how dare he pick Wednesday, it is my mothers only day off. Do you think he knows it is her only day off?

You have been around this BB for a while now. Horses do not fit into a schedule. I am guessing your father would like to be free in the evenings but most days something comes up. Just guessing. I only have three horses and that seems to be how mine are. I can not imagine it being any less busy at a lesson and boarding barn.
 
#21 ·
I didn't mean to make my post sound like. I still love my father and would love to still have a relationship with him. I'm just upset, and don't want him to keep going in and out of my life. I've called him a lot..but I've only left one message.

Actually yes..he does know that it is her only day off. He knows we cannot afford gas. He knows that my mom isn't going to drop me off or pick me up. I guess pretty much he is going to have to figure something out to see us. I don't have a car. I just don't get why he won't call me??

Oh, and about the forgetting thing. How could he 'forget' for this long?

I'm calling him today.
 
#23 ·
LOL..that's what one of my aunts told me.

So I'm going to call him in a few hours..hopefully he answers.

I haven't had many men in my life..so I don't really know what they act like. Our house is full of girls, and most of my family are girls.

Thanks everyone for putting up with me, especially Alwaysbehind.

When I start taking lessons (she's supposed to call around the 18th), I can post more in other sections..other then off topic. haha

I think my aunt thinks I'm a weirdo..because I'm always checking the horse forum. My aunt told me I should give it up for lent..but that would be impossible. :)
 
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