What would you feel? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 09:48 AM Thread Starter
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What would you feel?

My mother, in her 90s was with her solicitor writing a new will. My sister and B-I-L were there with her.
I get a call from the solicitor saying that Mother has changed her will so that my B-I-L also gets a third of the property. I was told I could contest this if I wanted.

I will add that Mum is definitely loosing some of her marbles but she is still living on her own and doing for herself!

I immediately made a decision but would be interested in what others would do or feel in the circumstances.
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post #2 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 09:54 AM
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I think it is her business who she leaves her property to.

I also think it was an ethics violation for her attorney to call you. He or she is HER attorney representing HER interests.

And lastly, I think you could use a better term than "losing her marbles"...
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post #3 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 10:50 AM
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I would expect it to be 50/50 but wouldn't protest if it wasn't.
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post #4 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 12:02 PM
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I would hope, at that point, I'd be established enough on my own that instead of having family squabbling over money I could worry about spending all the time we had left together.
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post #5 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 12:04 PM
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Be glad your mother has made a will......just roll with it and let it be. She has made a decision and it should be honored during her life and when she is gone. I have seen families fighting over lawn mowers, yes lawn mowers because someone didn't leave a will, just be glad she has done it.

Also, the attorney shouldn't have been calling you......all your mother needs is to pass away knowing her children were squabbling over the contents of her will, right?. Not saying you would be fighting, but it certainly does happen.
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post #6 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 12:39 PM
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It is her business. But I would feel wonky about it especially if you two are her only children. That would leave more than half of her estate to your sister. The way it's done in my family is blood children get the estate value but marriage family can and will get personal items, etc. But only what is willed. If she isn't completely there I would contest. The lawyer wouldn't call if he/she didn't think it was with importance.

People will manipulate their family members to get what they want.

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post #7 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 12:44 PM
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I would go on with my business and be glad I got a 3rd. But it does bother me that it seems your sister and bil did this without your knowing? It would make me question the motives, and also what else was changed or what not. I could be completley off, but that's the first thing that popped in my head. My grandmother told us grandchildren that we are to sell her property and split the income, because she didn't want anyone fighting overanything
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post #8 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 01:43 PM
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Fox, many times when an elderly parent is suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's, there are those who willingly take advantage of their diminished mental state. If your sister and BIL have coerced her into something she wouldn't have normally done, you have the right to fight their moral bankruptcy. Whether or not what the attorney did was legally right, it does show a level of compassion you don't usually see from those in the law field.

My question to you is this; does the division of property mean more to you than staying in touch with family? That's what you have to determine on your own. I don't know your family or the type of relationships you have.

I lost my father almost 2 years ago, and my mother is starting to go downhill rapidly. Some of the vultures in the family are already circling, and it makes me ill to know that to them THINGS are more important than people and relationships. I absolutely refuse to get into a battle over material things.
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post #9 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 01:49 PM
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It is her business butttttttttttttt, your BIL is part of your sister at least for now. So, to me your sister is getting two thirds and you one third. Not right as far as I see it. I guess it would also depend on how long he has been in the family and so on. Like if she were to divorce him would she be ok with him having a third, or is this for her to get more??


Last edited by nvr2many; 03-24-2013 at 01:55 PM.
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post #10 of 22 Old 03-24-2013, 01:52 PM
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I would feel hurt and angry, but I would let it go if possible, life is too short for the stress and pain that could be involved with this.
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