What would you feel? - Page 2

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What would you feel?

This is a discussion on What would you feel? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        03-24-2013, 03:16 PM
    Super Moderator
    Very interesting! Thanks for replying.
    Firstly Mum asked the solicitor to call me and my sis and hubby were also there. B-I-L would not have accepted if I had objected.

    Secondly 'marbles was not the right word to use here but it has been a family joke for many, many years. Mum would say "I lost more marbles today, went down the town and left the dog tied up outside the fish shop, never missed her until 3 o'clock!" The dog had been there for five hours! If that was bad it was not as bad as when she had her first grandchild out for a walk, called in at a friends and left via the back door as did friend leaving the baby in the hallway!

    Quite honestly it does not bother me in the slightest. Mum knows what she wants and it is hers to do with as she wants. My B-I-L is brilliant with her and thinks the world of her. It all comes out in the wash anyway. I have no children and so everything I have will be left to their three children as will anything they own.

    MAny years ago I was staying at home with Mum when she said "I am making a will, is their anything you want?"
    I looked around and said "Not really!"
    For that I got a box around the ears. (In fun)

    All to often I have seen people fall out over the death of a family member. That will not happen with us because we know it is not worth it. Neither my sister nor I are materialistic and if she wants a specific item she can have it. I am more likely to want the practical things like the old kitchen scales and mixer than items of jewellery which I will never wear.
    Thanks again - I was just curious as to what others would think.
    Northernstar likes this.
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        03-24-2013, 03:52 PM
    So this was all just a moot point, and you deliberately left out key information. Other than trying to lead people down an erroneous path, what exactly was your reason in posting this thread?

    Bad form, Fox. Very bad form.
        03-24-2013, 03:54 PM
    Green Broke
    ^^^^Was thinking the same thing! Feesl like someone is poking the hornets nest.
        03-24-2013, 04:03 PM
    I have to say, that as I was mentally preparing my response to your first post, then read the last one, I felt a bit "used".

    I am glad you have an honest mother , sis and BIL and that it will all work out in the end. It sounded like a very unhappy situation in the making.

    I am glad I no longer need write how I would feel.
        03-24-2013, 04:16 PM
        03-24-2013, 04:39 PM
    Super Moderator
    I am sorry, I did not want to mislead anyone.
    I have had others say that I should not have accepted the change (not that I would take any notice of their views anyway) I was just wondering what others would feel in the situation.

    My honest opinion is that if anyone is lucky enough to have money or material things left to them by a dearly departed then they are lucky. It is a gift and not a right.

    I truthfully feel that more important then material things is love and memories, good and bad, that come with family life. More important is what happens during a persons life and how they are treated especially when they are elderly.
        03-24-2013, 04:49 PM
    Green Broke
    I agree it is a gift and not a right but you led me to believe (if I read right) that, she was off her rocker or lost marbles. That made me feel differently as in someone was taking advantage. Sooooooooooo, you did not get the same response I would have given if you had not included that.
        03-24-2013, 05:24 PM
    Had you stated that your mother ASKED the solicitor to call you and not implied that she was mentally disabled, my answer would have definitely been different.

    Based on what I presumed by your own words, I opened up and told you part of my private hell. I'm not one for slobbing emotion or putting my private life out on public display like so many others do, so yes, I feel rather used and betrayed. I won't make that mistake again with you.
    nvr2many likes this.
        03-24-2013, 05:31 PM
    Originally Posted by Clava    
    I would feel hurt and angry, but I would let it go if possible, life is too short for the stress and pain that could be involved with this.
    The thread is moot at this point, but I have to ask - why would you feel hurt and angry? Do you feel "entitled" to what your father and/or mother earned themselves? Why would it make any difference to you if they left their money to you, gave it to someone else, gave it to a charity, or had it converted to gold and buried with them? It is their money to do with as they wish. If one inherits money it should be viewed as a windfall - not as an entitlement...
        03-24-2013, 05:35 PM
    Originally Posted by Speed Racer    
    I lost my father almost 2 years ago, and my mother is starting to go downhill rapidly. Some of the vultures in the family are already circling, and it makes me ill to know that to them THINGS are more important than people and relationships. I absolutely refuse to get into a battle over material things.
    Sorry you have to see that. I have seen those situations in my family several times over the years and it is disgusting...people you have known all your life and you think are good, honest, compassionate people can turn into animals over a handful of sheckles or personal property. It can really make you shake your head in disbelief...

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