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While we're talking politics...

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  • Boy 11 spanked -bondage -porn -slut

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    04-02-2012, 10:44 AM
  #251
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinder    
My Grandparents were never the ones to punish me. It was always my own parents, which to me as a child was a far scarier thought. At the end of the day, I was going home with my parents! I'm not trying to insult anyone's way of raising children here but it sounds odd to me that you would have a child go get their own implement for their physical punishment (in regards to "I had to go cut my own switch on numerous occasions"). Besides for ONE memory of my mom threatening to spank me and maybe being spanked once as a child, I wasn't physically punished. It was always verbal and the farthest my parents had to go with me were threatening to take away something I liked. As a child, when I got the "look" I knew to behave or else!

Sorry for randomly popping in but I just wanted to add my two cents to that.
Cinder I agree, parents should be the ones to teach their children. But, it's the grandparents who should teach their children (the parents) how.
Just this weekend I was at a family function at my in-laws and a 10 month old was trying to play with a lamp AND pull it off a table by the cord. The parents kept telling the kid "no no, no no, no no, no no, no no....." I wanted to run over there and say a STERN NO! Move the kid off and be done with it, but I would be crucified if I did so. It was Grandmas place, supposedly the matriarch of the family, to show the parents HOW to deal with it. I did step in after a while of this (parents were too busy shoving their face) and moved the lamp and told the kid NO. Done deal. I got dirty looks but the kid didn't go back over there.

There was also an 11 year old boy there that wanted to roughly wrestle with my 7 year old daughter. Ummm, NO! When they got started his dad was eating, sitting RIGHT next to the kids and he did NOTHING. I had to step in and tell them all that that type of behavior was NOT acceptable, especially in a room full of people.

I have a 2 year old nephew that barely says 1 word, uh oh. His parents play games all day and hardly talk to the kid. I've brought up his speech development with his parents, to my parents, and TRUST me if it were my kid they would be all over me. For him, not so much, they just say "different strokes for different folks." "Not my place", yadda yadda. The entire family is responsible for the rest. I wasn't rude to my brother and SIL, but all the kid can say is "Ahhhhhhhh Uhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

It takes an entire family to raise a family, something that isn't being done today.
     
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    04-02-2012, 12:10 PM
  #252
Trained
I didn't really address the spanking issue you mentioned.

I 1,000% agree with you that it is the parents responsibility to teach their kids to behave around anyone, especially their elders. It's the "My house, my rules" that's being ignored. Like you, I was an angel for my grandparents because I knew I would be in Deeeeppppp trouble it I acted out around them.
But it's also the grandparents responsibility to raise their children to be good parents.

My BIL and MIL will not let me watch my nephew. Not because they fear that I will spank him, but because I won't listen to his excuses or allow him to back talk me in front of my daughter. Once I got on to him for yelling at me and he physically attacked me. Who got in trouble? Me, for calling him out and telling him the simple word... NO.

I only got 2 spankings by my grandparents, once for sticking a D battery to my cousins tongue and then convincing my little brother to eat a bucket of fishing minnows!!! I was never bad for them again!!
     
    04-02-2012, 02:46 PM
  #253
Yearling
Quote:
Cinder I agree, parents should be the ones to teach their children. But, it's the grandparents who should teach their children (the parents) how.
Just this weekend I was at a family function at my in-laws and a 10 month old was trying to play with a lamp AND pull it off a table by the cord. The parents kept telling the kid "no no, no no, no no, no no, no no....." I wanted to run over there and say a STERN NO! Move the kid off and be done with it, but I would be crucified if I did so. It was Grandmas place, supposedly the matriarch of the family, to show the parents HOW to deal with it. I did step in after a while of this (parents were too busy shoving their face) and moved the lamp and told the kid NO. Done deal. I got dirty looks but the kid didn't go back over there.

There was also an 11 year old boy there that wanted to roughly wrestle with my 7 year old daughter. Ummm, NO! When they got started his dad was eating, sitting RIGHT next to the kids and he did NOTHING. I had to step in and tell them all that that type of behavior was NOT acceptable, especially in a room full of people.

I have a 2 year old nephew that barely says 1 word, uh oh. His parents play games all day and hardly talk to the kid. I've brought up his speech development with his parents, to my parents, and TRUST me if it were my kid they would be all over me. For him, not so much, they just say "different strokes for different folks." "Not my place", yadda yadda. The entire family is responsible for the rest. I wasn't rude to my brother and SIL, but all the kid can say is "Ahhhhhhhh Uhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

It takes an entire family to raise a family, something that isn't being done today.
And:

Quote:
I didn't really address the spanking issue you mentioned.

I 1,000% agree with you that it is the parents responsibility to teach their kids to behave around anyone, especially their elders. It's the "My house, my rules" that's being ignored. Like you, I was an angel for my grandparents because I knew I would be in Deeeeppppp trouble it I acted out around them.
But it's also the grandparents responsibility to raise their children to be good parents.

My BIL and MIL will not let me watch my nephew. Not because they fear that I will spank him, but because I won't listen to his excuses or allow him to back talk me in front of my daughter. Once I got on to him for yelling at me and he physically attacked me. Who got in trouble? Me, for calling him out and telling him the simple word... NO.

I only got 2 spankings by my grandparents, once for sticking a D battery to my cousins tongue and then convincing my little brother to eat a bucket of fishing minnows!!! I was never bad for them again!!
Yeah, I agree it takes a whole family to raise children! I never really thought of the grandparents as showing the parents how to raise children, but now that you say it I agree with you.

The nephew that can only say one word is a scary thought! If his parents are neglecting him to that extent, wouldn't his social functions also be off? I don't know, it's just a thought.
     
    04-02-2012, 02:46 PM
  #254
Showing
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyGap    
I 1,000% agree with you that it is the parents responsibility to teach their kids to behave around anyone, especially their elders. It's the "My house, my rules" that's being ignored. Like you, I was an angel for my grandparents because I knew I would be in Deeeeppppp trouble it I acted out around them.
But it's also the grandparents responsibility to raise their children to be good parents.
I absolutely agree Fly. It never fails to amaze me at the behavior of many children (and sadly their parents as well) when we are at school or sports functions with my daughter.

I'm not against spanking and my daughter has gotten a couple, but most of the time if the ground rules are laid down they don't give reason to have to spank.

I too can remember very clearly the 2 spankings I got from my grandparents. The one from my grandma was for getting in the creek in my easter dress. The one from my grandpa is a very funny story (that I might have shared on here in the past) we were at a horse show, my sister & I really disliked that he dipped skoal. We emptied his can and filled it back up with dried up horse manure. He got it to his lip and we ran like the dickens laughing the whole way. We did eventually have to go back to the truck & trailer and he was waiting...with a doggin' bat.
     
    04-02-2012, 03:03 PM
  #255
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinder    
And:



Yeah, I agree it takes a whole family to raise children! I never really thought of the grandparents as showing the parents how to raise children, but now that you say it I agree with you.
It really only takes one (preferably two) engaged, responsible adults to raise a child. Not only does it not take a family but other family butting in will do more harm than good. My kids know that if I'm around I'm thier boss but they better listen and be respectful of other adults. If I'm not around then they better do what they're told because I'll come back eventually. My FIL and I get along pretty well until he starts to boss my kids or my dog then sometimes we get a little heated up. My oldest is 11 and my FIL has finally decided to let me parent how I see fit. While I don't mind some advice it had better wait until after I've finished with the discipline.
     
    04-02-2012, 03:14 PM
  #256
Trained
Very funny MHF!!!

Yeah Cinder, the kid is in a WORLD of trouble right now. At 11 he's going to the shrink. He got into TERRIBLE trouble at school while being bullied, can't say why but he made a stupid outburst. In class the teachers can't stand him, everything always ends up being his fault.
According to the Shrink... We should nurture the child, build him up because of all the bullying. But what's not being addressed is WHY IS HE BEING BULLIED? He has no respect for his teachers and back talks them, he is a "one upper", nearly a sociopath. He is being raised by my BIL and MIL because his mother took off when he was 5. Sure I feel sorry for the kid, my dad left too. No contact, no child support, I have a step mom with my EXACT maiden name out there somewhere and I've received her GY bills!! Ewwww!
I had a family that wouldn't let me use my "crutches", and set me up to conquer the world. Poor kid doesn't have a chance. Unfortunately no one will let me help him out, after the "incident" I really don't trust him as far as I can chuck him.

EDIT: Kevin, I'm not saying parents should butt in. But when there is a serious problem, it's the families responsibility to assist. Like say you are a drug addict, your kids are being neglected, the grandparents need to get you help and help the children.
The MIL in question was a hard ass with her kids, they walked a straight line, even more so with others. Now she has the attitude that "she's just the grandma and should just get to have fun with the kid", when she's raising him! If I or the school, or anyone else tries to help or give advice... for behavior that she has fostered, well, get ready to duck. Same goes for many other situations I've seen that are far removed from my circle.
Missy May likes this.
     
    04-02-2012, 03:37 PM
  #257
Trained
Well, I read an article many moons ago that at first seemed rediculous, at best. Then I read the entire thing and changed my mind.....and I thought it was somewhat relavent to the parent discussion, here. The theory was that AC had a huge impact on our society, and coupled w TV, it had a measurable adverse impact. Sounds insane, BUT, the article went on to point out that prior to AC and TV people in cities sat outside to get away from the heat, and consequently talked regularly w their neighbors, as well as disciplined children that were playing in their collective yards. When AC and TV became the "norm", this ended and people focused on a box (I hate tv) and not their "neighborhood" in general, and they often had no idea who the kids in the street belong to, or their neighbor's names, theeeennn came the "can't discipline anyone else's child" sort of thinking. And, wala, where the greater percent of the population lives (cities), the fabric of the society declined. Interesting theory, by and large - it makes sense.
As for allowing my own parents to discipline my child. I don't think so. Nor do I think they have any advice that would be "value added". That is because I am perfect in every way ....but, by an large, I think a lot of parents are so lacking that any common sense advice would be of benefit, and their kids are so poorly mannered that they need a good butt kicking (I guess I can say that , yeah).
FlyGap likes this.
     
    04-02-2012, 03:48 PM
  #258
Trained
HaHA!! I believe that makes perfect sense.

A long time ago My daughter threw a fit in the grocery store when I wouldn't let her ride in the cart (she didn't fit in the seat). I had warned the kids that IF they acted out in the store I would tan their hides, I also made them recite the proper ways to act while in public and tell me the DO NOTS and the reprocussions (which I always make them do before we go in).
So as soon as we got in the door she broke down. So I promptly swatted her tail all the way back to the car and sat in it till she calmed down. MAN was I glad DHS wasn't anywhere around, got some dirty looks too from the other ladies while I was "beating" my beautiful little girl and dragging my nephew, who was agging it on, by the arm!
After that day she is a complete angel!
Missy May likes this.
     

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