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why can't they shut up?

This is a discussion on why can't they shut up? within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        10-12-2012, 03:39 PM
      #21
    Green Broke
    OP while I feel for you, and the situation you are in...i think maybe this isnt the right way to vent or express your frustration.

    I know how hard it can be being crammed into a house with small children and not enough space. Lots of noise and lots of chaos.
    Heck I have a hard time just going home at christmas to see my family. Don't get me wrong I love them all but...i was out of the house on my 18th b-day on my way to boot camp....and after 2 1/2 years in the military with discipline etc going back to screaming children and family fueds is NEVER easy.


    But if theres a problem at home....deal with it at home. Coming on to a public forum and throwing insults about your sister and your other family members is NOT the best way to go about it.

    We obviously don't know whats going on at home. We arent entitled to it but if you come on here insulting right of the bat...we are going to form opinions based on jsut waht youve given us and we can't be blamed if we don't know the full story.


    Its probably not easy for your sister having kids to take care of. Especially in this economy and maybe she needs some extra help.


    The best thing for you to do is talk to her about it. Tell her wahts going on with the kids and how its stressing you out. Maybe see if you can move in with a friend or another family member while you try to build up some money to move out on your own.


    But coming on here, and gossiping/insulting your family is not constuctive to helping solve this situation.
         
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        10-12-2012, 09:55 PM
      #22
    Yearling
    She doesn't take care of them. Lol ! My mom does .
    Tianimalz likes this.
         
        10-13-2012, 08:04 PM
      #23
    Foal
    It's understandable that you're quite frustrated, but bashing your family on here isn't the answer. If you already hate children with a passion and aren't going to budge on that opinion... the kids aren't the problem.

    I can't stand loud noise and am not a huge fan of being around young children, so I do get where you're coming from, but I think you need to re consider the situation rather than blaming others. Maybe if you were to help your mother with the kids rather than bitterly trying to tune them out you'd find something positive about them? She's the one that's kindly allowing them to live in her house and taking care of them after all.
         
        10-13-2012, 08:42 PM
      #24
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Janna    
    She doesn't take care of them. Lol ! My mom does .
    That is your mother's call - if SHE has a problem with any of this (including your attitude) she is the one that has the right/power to do or say something about it, because it is HER house that you are all in. Again, if you are so unhappy about your living situation, you are free to remove yourself from it. Life is full of choices and choices have consequences. The consequence of choosing to live in your mother's house is that you are going to be living with anyone else she also allows that same privilege.
         
        10-14-2012, 04:39 PM
      #25
    Trained
    Anger derives from fear.
    I can understand your home life is not what you would like but it is beyond your control. If you cannot leave then while you are saving up to do so focus on releasing that frustration you have allowed to build up.
    Hate and anger are negative emotions that require too much energy to maintain. Energy that you can focus elsewhere and use to improve you life.
    Frustration is one thing hate is another.
    You have a right to be angry with the sister and her children you do not have a right to make them uncomfortable or place the blame for your anger on them. That rest solely with you. By allowing yourself to be manipulated by elements outside your control you are allowing your sister and her children unnecessary control over YOUR emotions and mental well being.
    Good luck and hopefully you can move soon.
    Get out and meet some friends. A life outside the home is improtant for a well rounded person. Shalom
    Chevaux likes this.
         
        10-15-2012, 03:41 AM
      #26
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Janna    
    She doesn't take care of them. Lol ! My mom does .
    Hmm sounds like my friends Dad only he's thirty something has a freaking breathalyzer installed in his car that he has to pass to start the heap of junk and completely ignores the existence of his daughter honestly MY parents have been better parents to her then her actual parents! Ugghh! People!....not that I'm bitter....
         
        10-15-2012, 10:06 AM
      #27
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Samstead    
    Hmm sounds like my friends Dad only he's thirty something has a freaking breathalyzer installed in his car that he has to pass to start the heap of junk and completely ignores the existence of his daughter honestly MY parents have been better parents to her then her actual parents! Ugghh! People!....not that I'm bitter....
    Lol yes.
    My sister dumps them off on my mom.
    She'd rather be with a boyfriend.

    Just Pops out kids like she don't know how it happens.
    Tianimalz and MangoRoX87 like this.
         
        10-16-2012, 08:10 AM
      #28
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Janna    
    Lol yes.
    My sister dumps them off on my mom.
    She'd rather be with a boyfriend.

    Just Pops out kids like she don't know how it happens.
    First, your words and attitude really angered me. But, from what little I know, I can see you are in a rotten situation. Doesn't really excuse the language, but does explain it a bit.

    From the quoted text, I can imagine being frustrated and even embarassed by the whole place.

    The facts are that you want to get out, and somehow are working to get out. That the life at your mom's house is less than peaceful and doesn't sound, well, conducive to your success.

    I can tell you that "the best revenge is a life well lived." Make, try to make, contact with better people. Through church? Work? Horses? Neighbors? The tough thing is that you don't have a place to vent and strangers may pull back from you if you share too much of what life at home is like, or if it shows too much on your face. You may kind of have to fake it in work and social situations.

    But, as bad as things are at your house, you know there are worse places. And, you have to know that people have overcome worse and left it behind.

    Read biographies of people who have overcome much. Your librarians can help find those.

    Finally, take what you need while you have to be at home. You need a roof and food? Be grateful that you can get that. But never lose sight of your dream and goals. I used to have a small piece of paper on my wall that only said, "Keep your eyes on the prize." Don't know how much time I stared at that with silent tears running down my face. But, I've been living the prize for years now and am glad I stuck with it.
    Janna likes this.
         
        10-16-2012, 08:40 AM
      #29
    Started
    You have some amount of anger built up inside you! I don't know anything about you or how old you are but you need to talk to somebody about how you feel. I get the impression you feel trapped in your circumstances.

    1. This is your mothers house. There is nothing to jack squat you can do about the conditions. Don't like it? Either tough it out or move out. I didn't get on well with my family; at 17 I found a job on a warmblood stud, moved to the staff accomadation and went to school online in the evenings while working during the day.

    2. I once thought I hated kids, now I have two. I don't have much patience for other children (heck sometimes the patience for my own is limited) but these are your family, try and be the aunt that in time they want to know. I can tell you first hand that sometimes my kids are a serious test of patience, and heaven knows if I tell them to go Left, 90% of the time they will go right.. but it's a learning curve for all of us. It isn't the fault of the kids they are in the situation they are, so try not to take your frustration out on them.

    3. IMO you are very very defensive in all of your replies. Why try and pick a squabble over such minor comments? Maybe you should have a look at the way in which you are coming across to us. I'm by no means a saint, but the "stuck to moms tit" comment really made me say whoa! In the grand scheme of things, if you come across like this to future possible employers/ect it may not work in your favour. Sorry if I am insulting you :/


    Life does not have a remote control, if you want to change it get up off your backside and do it yourself.
    themacpack likes this.
         
        10-16-2012, 06:50 PM
      #30
    Yearling
    I probably should get a video of a day here.
    Phone will only do so much though.
    Tianimalz likes this.
         

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