I always figured I would keep my birth (maiden) name whenever I got married...which I did over a year ago. I wanted to keep it because it was MY identity...a very original name that I loved...most people called me by that not my first name my whole life...and I didn't feel that "sharing a name" created unity...sounded like bologna to me...I mean love creates unity in a marriage not a name. But then we moved to east Texas...
People here seem to have a lot of trouble understanding the concept...including most of my husband's family...especially his grandmother.
We recently had a baby shower...and unfortunately I good chunk of his family couldn't find our registries online because they didn't KNOW my name!! (Which is kind of stupid because we've told them a 100 times...you think they would take the effort to learn it...and it was on the baby shower invitation.)
On one side it really really IRKS me that...people just ASSUME that I should have changed my name. I mean it's my identity...I graduated college with my name...published papers with my name...sold photography, designed websites, etc. with my name published on them...travelled, competed and won horse shows with MY name. "...a rose...were it not called a rose...by any other name smell as sweet?"
But on the other hand...since we've moved here it is a constant battle to explain to baptist republicans (no offense) my reasons for keeping my identity.
So should I just give in to societal pressures and change it?
Especially with the baby coming soon...we always assumed we would hyphenate her last name. But now I'm worried that the illiterates will whisper behind her back that we are not married or some other such nonsense. But what does that teach her later in life...that I just gave up my identity to cave in to these people's ideals instead of sticking to my guns?
That was long winded...but all opinions are welcomed.