Women sends back adopted child - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 16 Old 04-11-2010, 03:25 PM
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I know a woman who has adopted several children, not all of whom speak English. We've talked about her oldest daughter before, 14, who has emotional issues---but she doesn't know what they are. She knows that she needs help, but how do you fix something when the instructions are all in a different language. Adopting older children is always a gamble, you never know what you might be dealing with from their past but if you want to be a parent, its up you you to be willing to deal with any hurdle youre presented with.
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post #12 of 16 Old 04-11-2010, 05:10 PM
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Foim what In have read, she said the boy was violent and had severe emotional issues(duh, he's a 7yr old Russian orphan!). She also said that he had said he wanted to burn the house down with his parents in it. Even so, in my mind this is no excuse. If she was expecting a normal, balanced child with no issues she was living in la-la land. I feel it was her responsibility to seek all the help necessary for the child. It just seems as though she no longer wanted to put in the effort.
What gets me is that she just chucked the kid on a plane with a note in his pocket that basicly said "He's your problem now!". I understand that the child was most likely extremely difficult to deal with, but gimme a break! Once you sign those papers it's the same as if you had birthed him yourself - he's the adoptive parents responsibility. The woman in question feels as though the Russian agency lied about the emotional state of the child and misrepresented him in order to "get rid of him". I suppose it is possible, but despite this I still don't see how putting the poor kid on a plane back into a bad situation is a good option! There have been several cases where Russian children have died violent deaths at the hands of their adoptive US parents. It's becoming obvious that there are major problems with the adoption process between the two countries and I for one think it might be a good idea to stop the adoptions until they can work out the kinks - for the sake of those poor children!
Wouldn't say it better! I think you should really be extremely sure before starting to adopt. Just a question: how easy it's adopt from Russia or other foreign countries in USA? Does the authorities follow how things will be organized?

Justsambam: I guess these children would absolutely need proper teaching in English so they can get into a society and catch a normal rhythm of life... Learning the main language is a key to a society. If I were a parent, I'd still try to find a therapist/counsellor who speak the child's language as his/her 1st language or at least knows it properly. Your native language is a language for your emotions and feelings and coming from a different culture/language, there aren't always words for the things you want to say in your new culture.

Didn't experience that myself but I once had to do a research about exile for my studies and especially one of the books I read gave some view to me. I'd say it's kinda same, most of those refugees come from areas full of crises, don't know the language and perhaps can't read or write.


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Hei tuu mun luo, pieneksi hetkeksi. Puhutaan, varjoni, valkoiseksi enkeliksi."

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post #13 of 16 Old 04-11-2010, 05:37 PM
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I know I'll get flack for this but I don't think we should be able to adopt children from other countries. I have a family member who adopted from a southeastern European country only because it was easier and less time consuming than adopting an American child. I think it should either be just as difficult to adopt a foreign child or easier to adopt in country. I just hate the idea of Americans going out of country for a child only because its faster and easier. That's just not right.
I've heard many horror stories of people adopting children that have behavioral problems from mild social and language difficulty to violent sociopathic tendencies.
I read a study that one in five adoptions are dissolved due to unmanageable behavior problems or undisclosed health problems. It not that uncommon for a child to be sent back. I think this woman did it in a very abrupt and thoughtless manor, but I don't think its that unusual.


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post #14 of 16 Old 04-12-2010, 07:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Vidaloco View Post
I know I'll get flack for this but I don't think we should be able to adopt children from other countries. I have a family member who adopted from a southeastern European country only because it was easier and less time consuming than adopting an American child. I think it should either be just as difficult to adopt a foreign child or easier to adopt in country. I just hate the idea of Americans going out of country for a child only because its faster and easier. That's just not right.
I've heard many horror stories of people adopting children that have behavioral problems from mild social and language difficulty to violent sociopathic tendencies.
I read a study that one in five adoptions are dissolved due to unmanageable behavior problems or undisclosed health problems. It not that uncommon for a child to be sent back. I think this woman did it in a very abrupt and thoughtless manor, but I don't think its that unusual.
I kind of agree with you actually. A few years back it became a sort of trend to adopt Chinese children. Not saying the Chinese children don't need to be adopted, but the government process in Canada made it hard to find homes for actual starving Canadian children. Most who adopt have been trying to have children for a long time, so an easier option is probably welcome.
ALL kids need to have a good, loving home though, no matter the nationality!

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post #15 of 16 Old 04-12-2010, 09:14 PM
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I agree with you too, I've always felt it was wrong for it to be easier to adopt children from countries outside your own, it makes things weird in my mind, and feels like it is placing a "value" on children, which is completely messed up. A child is a child and needs the same amount of love and care no matter where their roots are. I understand there are so many children desperately in need of homes, but it seems like the adoption process should be standardized across the board, not easier to get a child from one place as opposed to another.


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post #16 of 16 Old 04-14-2010, 09:32 PM
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One of our local news stations has a weekly segment on local kids needing adoption. Most are older grade school age and it just bothers me so much that those kids are sitting in a childrens home waiting for parents. I just don't understand why parents looking to adopt would look out of country. That boy was 7 right? I'm sure there is a boy in the Wichita Childrens Home that wouldn't have wanted to burn her house down.


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