WTH what should I DO!!

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WTH what should I DO!!

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    08-23-2010, 12:54 AM
WTH what should I DO!!

Ok soooo this is kinda a venting post... My BF and I have been together for 3 and a half years im 22 and last year aug 4th we had a baby (my son I love sooo much) anyways he's actually my fiance.. So he's been on me about getting a job and get a baby sitter soo I finally get a job and I open my own bank account he gets mad saying why didnt I just use his.. NOW he's all of a sudden telling me that I can't have a horse because he's not going to give money to take care of her and that we can't afford her .. ummm yeah he's a HUGE dirtbike off road truck guy NOT ONCE did I ever say he had to stop ornot to spend his money on what he loves to do.. umm I can afford her I make pretty good money and he just keeps hounding me saying well why do you think your parents didnt get you one when you where younger.. Umm because I had a single parent for the first part in my life and she had to feed 3 mouths. He has always gotten what he wanted when he was young so he doesnt think its a big deal soo I dunno what to do im soooo stressed about this I told him you can't take this from me. I already had to stop playing soccer because he wanted to me to work and that was hard enough!!!! AHHH I dunno what to do ... I totally envy the single women out there right!! Breaking up is not an option for me!!! HEEELLLP ADVIIICE SOMETHING!!! (kinda pathetic posting this but all my friends stopped talking to me when I had my son!!
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    08-23-2010, 02:11 AM
Bump . I feel stuck!!
    08-23-2010, 02:47 AM
I personally think breaking up or taking a break in a relationship should always be an option before marriage.

I agree that he cannot tell you what you can spend your money on but he does have a point. Being young parents with a baby means there are sacrifices that have to be made. Just because you can afford something now doesn't mean you should spend your money on it. Do you have enough saved in an account that in the event you needed to pay for an emergency you could? I understand wanting a horse badly, I'm in the same situation but I'm just not financially stable enough. You're young enough that if you had to sacrifice your horse for a couple years you still have time later in life when money is not as much of an issue to go back to horses. Maybe even lease your horse? That way you still have her but are also earning some extra cash.
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    08-23-2010, 03:20 AM
Well he's your fiance normally I would say dump but no no its more then just some bf its a fiance so mabye you could just tell him no and say you give up your _____ (insert his passion in the blank) and don't stop riding its not worth it
    08-23-2010, 03:31 AM
Yeah I completely understand if I absolutely knew I couldnt afford her. Him havin me get a job wasnt really because we needed money. But so it ensures us financially just incase anything did happen. She cost 200 a month. I make about 2k a month soo im covered and he makes more then me!! So I dunno why he can have his toys (i.e dirt bikes, quads, off road truck) that cost well over that if they break. And they break every other month! You think maybe he's being selfish! Cause I know for **** sure if his bike broke and I told him to bad can't fix it he would do it anyway! So I dunno he said he would rather build me a bike then me havon my horse! Its so confusing...
    08-23-2010, 03:39 AM
You more then have her expense covered it seems so yeah, I would keep her if I were you. I have to disagree dede about telling him he has to give up a hobby of his, that's just trying to get back at him and that's not healthy for a relationship. Tell him in a nice tone (super essential) that this is something very very important to you and since you will be the one fitting ALL the bills you must respectively deny his demand of giving up riding.

If he cannot respect you for standing up for yourself and being independent in your own hobby he's not worth it. To me a spouse shouldn't ever have the power to make demands on harmless hobbies like riding. He must accept you and all the things you enjoy. Please tell me you are not jumping into an engagement/ marriage solely because of the baby?
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    08-23-2010, 03:52 AM
Oh goodness no. But man was I pressured from his and a little bit of my side of family to get married once we found out I was prego. I just told them that im not ready to get married and im not going to just because we are prego. Yeah (besides the fact marriage scares the hell outa me been engaged for a little under a year now) but im still not ready. I agree its not like I go clubbing, or get wasted at the bar as a hobbie like most girls out here! And he's lucky that I enjoy the stuff he does a well. I will try talking to him again tonight. I think it might be cause he was spoiled as a child?
    08-23-2010, 04:26 AM
Green Broke
You need to put him in his place before you get married! If you let him get away with it then he will get it into his head that you are a pushover and that will make married life hell for you if he starts 'pushing it'.
    08-23-2010, 04:27 AM
Could be. I'm having an issue the exact opposite of yours in some ways but it raises the same issue.

My boyfriend was born and raised in a wealthy family and is just now learning the money problems in the world. Since we are long distance he is very upset I want a job during the only months he's here. While I bent to his wishes because I would love to not have to work its comig to now I really need to. We've had countless talks about the fact that he does not get the liberty to order me around. He cannot expect me to sit around doing nothing while he's gone, though he'd worry less if I did. I think your boyfriend is similar to mine. He may not think any of having his bikes because he always has. Horses are something you've always dreamed of having and cannot give up easily, just try to explain that to him further. Don't let him bully you around to much! My mom raised me to be true to myself in a relationship and it does truly work to make a strong one!

Good to hear you're not rushing into being married! It's silly for people to rush for reasons other then truly loving someone so much and being so sure marriage is the next step. I just hate people gettin hitched for the wrong reasons. Glad you're not letting anyone push you on that issue, now just apply that your mare too!!
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    08-23-2010, 12:40 PM
Yeah he was up until 3:30 a.m working on his bikes so I didnt have time to talk to him about it cause I was asleep. You know whats crazy about the pushover thing.. is that he use to tell me that I was such a push over and why do I jump to do whatever me mom or bro, dad ask of me (dads back in my life :) well they kinda are my family and I don't have a problem helping out family when they need it. So I dunno I think he takes my generasity as being a pushover and when I stand up for my self when he pulls crap like this he gets all mad! His mom is mexican and in her family they pretty much bow down to the man in the family. (his dad is white and japanese) but anyway I told him im WHITE I don't do that.. ill feed al of us at the same time ! (not saying this is how all mexican families are this is what his family does) I duno he's just a young stud that needs to be broke..lol!!

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