WTH what should I DO!!
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > General Off Topic Discussion

WTH what should I DO!!

This is a discussion on WTH what should I DO!! within the General Off Topic Discussion forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        08-23-2010, 12:54 AM
      #1
    Foal
    WTH what should I DO!!

    Ok soooo this is kinda a venting post... My BF and I have been together for 3 and a half years im 22 and last year aug 4th we had a baby (my son I love sooo much) anyways he's actually my fiance.. So he's been on me about getting a job and get a baby sitter soo I finally get a job and I open my own bank account he gets mad saying why didnt I just use his.. NOW he's all of a sudden telling me that I can't have a horse because he's not going to give money to take care of her and that we can't afford her .. ummm yeah he's a HUGE dirtbike off road truck guy NOT ONCE did I ever say he had to stop ornot to spend his money on what he loves to do.. umm I can afford her I make pretty good money and he just keeps hounding me saying well why do you think your parents didnt get you one when you where younger.. Umm because I had a single parent for the first part in my life and she had to feed 3 mouths. He has always gotten what he wanted when he was young so he doesnt think its a big deal soo I dunno what to do im soooo stressed about this I told him you can't take this from me. I already had to stop playing soccer because he wanted to me to work and that was hard enough!!!! AHHH I dunno what to do ... I totally envy the single women out there right!! Breaking up is not an option for me!!! HEEELLLP ADVIIICE SOMETHING!!! (kinda pathetic posting this but all my friends stopped talking to me when I had my son!!
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        08-23-2010, 02:11 AM
      #2
    Foal
    Bump . I feel stuck!!
         
        08-23-2010, 02:47 AM
      #3
    Yearling
    I personally think breaking up or taking a break in a relationship should always be an option before marriage.

    I agree that he cannot tell you what you can spend your money on but he does have a point. Being young parents with a baby means there are sacrifices that have to be made. Just because you can afford something now doesn't mean you should spend your money on it. Do you have enough saved in an account that in the event you needed to pay for an emergency you could? I understand wanting a horse badly, I'm in the same situation but I'm just not financially stable enough. You're young enough that if you had to sacrifice your horse for a couple years you still have time later in life when money is not as much of an issue to go back to horses. Maybe even lease your horse? That way you still have her but are also earning some extra cash.
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        08-23-2010, 03:20 AM
      #4
    Weanling
    Well he's your fiance normally I would say dump but no no its more then just some bf its a fiance so mabye you could just tell him no and say you give up your _____ (insert his passion in the blank) and don't stop riding its not worth it
         
        08-23-2010, 03:31 AM
      #5
    Foal
    Yeah I completely understand if I absolutely knew I couldnt afford her. Him havin me get a job wasnt really because we needed money. But so it ensures us financially just incase anything did happen. She cost 200 a month. I make about 2k a month soo im covered and he makes more then me!! So I dunno why he can have his toys (i.e dirt bikes, quads, off road truck) that cost well over that if they break. And they break every other month! You think maybe he's being selfish! Cause I know for **** sure if his bike broke and I told him to bad can't fix it he would do it anyway! So I dunno he said he would rather build me a bike then me havon my horse! Its so confusing...
         
        08-23-2010, 03:39 AM
      #6
    Yearling
    You more then have her expense covered it seems so yeah, I would keep her if I were you. I have to disagree dede about telling him he has to give up a hobby of his, that's just trying to get back at him and that's not healthy for a relationship. Tell him in a nice tone (super essential) that this is something very very important to you and since you will be the one fitting ALL the bills you must respectively deny his demand of giving up riding.

    If he cannot respect you for standing up for yourself and being independent in your own hobby he's not worth it. To me a spouse shouldn't ever have the power to make demands on harmless hobbies like riding. He must accept you and all the things you enjoy. Please tell me you are not jumping into an engagement/ marriage solely because of the baby?
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        08-23-2010, 03:52 AM
      #7
    Foal
    Oh goodness no. But man was I pressured from his and a little bit of my side of family to get married once we found out I was prego. I just told them that im not ready to get married and im not going to just because we are prego. Yeah (besides the fact marriage scares the hell outa me been engaged for a little under a year now) but im still not ready. I agree its not like I go clubbing, or get wasted at the bar as a hobbie like most girls out here! And he's lucky that I enjoy the stuff he does a well. I will try talking to him again tonight. I think it might be cause he was spoiled as a child?
         
        08-23-2010, 04:26 AM
      #8
    Green Broke
    You need to put him in his place before you get married! If you let him get away with it then he will get it into his head that you are a pushover and that will make married life hell for you if he starts 'pushing it'.
         
        08-23-2010, 04:27 AM
      #9
    Yearling
    Could be. I'm having an issue the exact opposite of yours in some ways but it raises the same issue.

    My boyfriend was born and raised in a wealthy family and is just now learning the money problems in the world. Since we are long distance he is very upset I want a job during the only months he's here. While I bent to his wishes because I would love to not have to work its comig to now I really need to. We've had countless talks about the fact that he does not get the liberty to order me around. He cannot expect me to sit around doing nothing while he's gone, though he'd worry less if I did. I think your boyfriend is similar to mine. He may not think any of having his bikes because he always has. Horses are something you've always dreamed of having and cannot give up easily, just try to explain that to him further. Don't let him bully you around to much! My mom raised me to be true to myself in a relationship and it does truly work to make a strong one!

    Good to hear you're not rushing into being married! It's silly for people to rush for reasons other then truly loving someone so much and being so sure marriage is the next step. I just hate people gettin hitched for the wrong reasons. Glad you're not letting anyone push you on that issue, now just apply that your mare too!!
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        08-23-2010, 12:40 PM
      #10
    Foal
    Yeah he was up until 3:30 a.m working on his bikes so I didnt have time to talk to him about it cause I was asleep. You know whats crazy about the pushover thing.. is that he use to tell me that I was such a push over and why do I jump to do whatever me mom or bro, dad ask of me (dads back in my life :) well they kinda are my family and I don't have a problem helping out family when they need it. So I dunno I think he takes my generasity as being a pushover and when I stand up for my self when he pulls crap like this he gets all mad! His mom is mexican and in her family they pretty much bow down to the man in the family. (his dad is white and japanese) but anyway I told him im WHITE I don't do that.. ill feed al of us at the same time ! (not saying this is how all mexican families are this is what his family does) I duno he's just a young stud that needs to be broke..lol!!
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:10 PM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0